Cloudburst
by dracoangelica
Summary: When Sebastian has a one night stand in Zuzu City, he doesn't expect his conquest to move to Pelican Town. William had no idea what he would be stepping into when he inherits his Pop's broken down farm. Can Sebastian endure his secrets becoming public knowledge? Can William move past the mistakes of his past? Two men struggle for happiness while coming to terms with their demons.
1. Chapter 1

_Zuzu City was a land of vice._ William thought as he sipped watery beer from a pint glass. _A city that slowly covered you in a drip-drip-drip of sludge and grey, one that wouldn't allow you to feel a single shred of emotion, even if you bought it and injected it yourself._ He would know, having the track marks to prove it. Yet here he was, once again, in the Mirage looking for a partner that had something…anything to make him care tonight. Someone who would be trying to connect too. Someone to keep him from reaching for the chemical that he'd quit two years ago. His eyes skimmed the men of the club and he took a longer swallow of beer. No one he didn't know. No one he hadn't either had or rejected. Because this city, just like his entire life, was a soulless drip drip drip of apathy.

Just when he was about to approach an old fling, Thomas or Brian or Somefuck, he saw Chad in the corner and scowled. Because against the wall, definitely looking for an out, was some poor youngblood who didn't look like he was from around this block.

It wasn't his business, he told himself, as he neared them. They were near the bathroom, William reasoned. He couldn't help that Chad was picking a victim near the bathrooms. It wasn't his fault that they were in his sightline. He wasn't at all influenced by the low key panic on the young man's face. Nope. Not one bit.

The victim in question had dark hair and a black hoodie, his face clean shaven and his back tense. Chad, the bastard, was looming over him, his right hand planted on the wall next to Youngblood's head, a shit-eating grin on his smarmy face. William felt the three shots of jack in his belly giving him really good advice about how easy a kidney punch would be. William hated when that asshole cornered new guys, breathing on them all hot and sweaty, thinking just because he was a thick bastard, that they had to take what he wanted to give. Dom? More like bomb. A ticking bomb of abuse pretending to be someone's kink. Chad had a nose for vulnerable people, a nose for people who came into the city looking for adventure and wanted to pay them back with pain.

"You get in a fight again, Bill, and Julio is going to ban you," Trixie, the pierced barmaid hissed. She was holding an empty tray and watching the interaction with worried eyes. William raised an eyebrow at the woman, all pink spiky Mohawk and fifty odd tattoos over her shoulders and neck but didn't bother answering. He didn't tell good people to fuck off and despite her fear, Trixie was good people. He rolled his head, swallowed the rest of the pisswater and wiped his arm over his chin, getting rid of the foam stuck to his beard. Then with a wink, he laid the empty glass on Trixie's tray and finished his walk across the room, his steps solid.

As he got closer he could hear the trash Chad was spitting.

"-and you know, new guys like you are always welcome over at Chad's booth. I'd pay you extra special attention, twinkie."

William clamped a hand down on Chad's shoulder and squeezed. Chad gasped and whipped around, eyes furious, then wary. Youngblood's face was pale but relieved. He side stepped, putting space between him and the confrontation.

"Evening Chad," William said, hands at his side. "You bothering Julio's customers?"

"Fuck off Bill."

William ignored the curse and turned his head to check the new guy over. His eyes were striking, lined black, his hair half covered his smooth face. William nodded an acknowledgement to him and he was rewarded with flushed cheeks.

 _Well_.

"He bothering you?"

Most people might miss it, if he hadn't been tuned for it, hunting for his own partner tonight, he might not have noticed the attraction, the slight widening of eyes and relaxation of jaw muscles…but William's instincts on a hookup were finely tuned. Could see the compulsive movement of the dark-eyed man's Adam's apple as he gave a reflexive swallow. Yup. He could turn this to his advantage.

"He's with me, Chad."

Chad gave a back of a laugh, full of scorn.

"With you? The man looks like he has standards, not like he wants to be picking curly bear fur out of his bed for the next week. Fuck off Bill."

William grabbed Chad by his collar and lifted him up, slamming him against the wall. Chad struggled but the movement had been too smooth, too unexpected for the wannabe tough guy. His tight pants, so nice on the dancefloor, restricted his movements. His silk shirt was good quality and didn't rip, instead acting a good handhold while William dangled him. A few guys cursed and vacated the area. The man at the table stood up quickly, eyes wide at the display of strength.

"I'm done asking nice," William told him, squeezing the fabric over Chad's throat. The man choked and gagged, his flimsy hands on William's thick wrists. "So let's just try this the old-fashioned way. I'm a traditionalist." And with that William slammed a fist into the side of Chad's head.

It was a satisfying sound, the sound of bone hitting flesh. Chad's eyes rolled back and he stumbled, William letting him. Gasps and shouts sounded around him and he grinned, the fight making his blood hot.

"Damn it William," a voice shouted from the other side of the bar. The music stopped and patrons moved out of the way as a short and round man in bright colors came over with a bat. "How many god-damned times to I have to tell you to take that shit outside."

William smirked and flipped Julio off. Fuck him and fuck his lack of bouncers. The bastard acted like that men didn't need help when jumped. God he hated bullies. The fight had jumped his blood up, started to chase out the grey, colors starting to form around him. He turned and winked at the youngblood he'd just rescued and walked back towards his bar stool. But Julio, fat little diva, wasn't done with him.

The older man slammed a hand on his chest and glared up at him. He held a baseball bat in the other hand, a heavy cudgel meant to knock sense into drunk heads. Too bad he never used it to stop the predators that oozed out of the woodwork.

"Out." Julio barked at him, pointing the bat at the door.

William raised a brow but the older man wasn't playing games. The high of the fight was starting to fade and after all, Julio would forgive him eventually. William nodded over at Trixie who had tried to warn him and pulled some gold out of his pocket. He dropped it on the table closest to him and nodded at Julio to cover his tab, then started towards the exit. Still, he decided as he stepped out and glanced back to see the sexy young guy was following him, not a total bust tonight.

The entire outing had been an exercise of bad judgement. Sebastian's drive into Zuzu City was supposed to be a short day trip for some tools for his bike. But the mechanic has said he wouldn't have a part until tomorrow and Sebastian had said 'fuck it', gotten a cheap hotel room and had turned the day a dream-walking fantasy quest. First he'd looked at apartments, but after three hours felt the despair that nothing was affordable with what he was making at his new consulting job. It was late then, and when he'd seen the sign for the bar and realized with a certain amount of thrill that it wasn't a regular pub like he had back home. This was a bar for gay men. It had intrigued him. He'd heard of the gay scene before of course. He was always online, always on forums and in chats. He'd spent money on cam-boys and had his own preferences of porn that featured these kinds of hook ups.

But tonight would have been the first time to see it in person. To be where the action was.

Normally that wasn't Sebastian's thing at all. Normally he'd rather just sit and wait and watch it come to him. People were, in a word, exhausting. But he was on an adventure and normal was for back home.

The city was different than the small town he'd grown up in. At home everyone was in your business and expected you to know and say and do things like everyone else. This? This was total anonymity. He'd been enjoying the solitude, content to just watch people, not willing to go out onto the dance floor to actually speak to anyone…when the slimy jerk had come to his table. He'd tried to escape him by retreating to the bathroom, only to get cornered.

And then? Bill.

The man had appeared like a golden hero, and Sebastian's heart had pounded when he saw him lift Chad up by his collar. His savior had muscles that bulged under a tshirt. His fists were thick and scarred with old fights, and his body was cut with sharp definition. Tattoos peaked around his shoulders and arms. Sebastian could see some scars on the side of his neck and head- though if he hadn't shaved the sides up, it wouldn't have been as noticeable.

He was like an avenging god, eyes blue with thick brows that furrowed and threatened.

When he followed him out into the street, Sebastian wasn't sure what had gotten into him. His heart pounded. He wanted to thank him, he decided, but what to say.

Then the man paused and looked at him sideways.

"Looking for trouble?"

Was he? He hadn't felt so alive in a long time, this spontaneous trip, the bar…and now a stranger in a dark alley. It was like he was a different person.

"I'm Sebastian," he blurted, shoving his hands in the pocket of his black jacket. "Thanks…for that."

The man looked him up and down then nodded.

"William."

William, not Bill. It fit him better, Sebastian decided. He swallowed, trying to think of what to say, what to offer when William turned his head towards the street.

"You wants some coffee, Sebastian?"

He did. He nodded. William nodded back then turned.

"I know a place."

Sebastian hesitated then fell into step beside him. Whatever this was? He was ready to see where it led.

He was older than he looked, William decided as he held the door open for him. The diner was small and full of bright lights. It was Sebastian's eyes that made him think that, because underneath the eyeliner he had shadows. Eyes that had seen more than they needed to. It eased something in his chest to know that. Even though he wanted him, he didn't want to feel guilty for taking someone too young. Nothing fun about breaking a vulnerable heart.

"So." William said after they ordered, "Haven't seen you at Mirage before."

Sebastian shrugged, also leaned back against his booth seat, his hands buried in the pockets of his hoodie. "I hadn't been there before. Just passing through."

William watched him, admiring the way his jawline was sharp, the way his hair was styled and when the coffee came he leaned forward. "You're a good looking guy," William said without preamble. He sipped his coffee while Sebastian's cheeks warmed, his long fingers wrapping around the thick mug.

"Thanks." He sipped his coffee and lowered his eyes.

William smirked. "Shy too. Fuck Chad. Assholes like that are all over guys like you."

Sebastian glared at him from under his shock of hair, the black curtain falling over one eye.

"What's that supposed to mean? Guys like me?"

William met his eyes, then smirked shaking his head. "Never mind."

Sebastian smirked. "Chicken shit."

William's grin faded and he leaned forward, his lips nearly touching Sebastian's ear. "Guys in eyeliner. They make me want to do things to you that would leave that liner streaking down your cheeks, babe." He leaned back and enjoyed the breathless expression on Sebastian's face. He coughed and rubbed the back of his neck. William felt himself getting hard thinking about it and didn't speak while Sebastian swallowed down some of his own coffee.

"So is that what you were looking for tonight?" Sebastian's voice was a bit hoarse, as if the image William had put into his head had dried his throat out.

William cocked his head and made a bet with himself. 50% chance this guy was going to rabbit and he'd be going home alone. 50% chance that he'd give him a short term break from the grey drip drip drip.

"Looking for something to break up the grey, Sebastian. Why? You wanna help me color up the night?"

Sebastian's brows narrowed. "Will it make my eyeliner run?" the amusement was barely detected, layered with disbelief, as if the challenge was more than he could believe.

William never dropped his gaze and said, his own voice getting rough, "Yeah, I think I could manage that."

There was a moment of weighing the options, then Sebastian's eyes fell onto the redden skin on William's knuckles. Something there seemed to decide him and he dared meet his gaze again.

"Then let's get out of here."

Sebastian didn't know what he had been thinking when he walked into the apartment building. There was nothing like this back at Pelican Town. His mind raced. This was so different than every previous hookup…hurried hand jobs or drunken make out sessions with guys who later insisted they were straight. They passed walls that were marked with graffiti, mystery stains on faded carpet in the hall. He felt high, he realized, on the thrill and danger of this all. The man next to him was bigger than he was. He didn't know him. Was he really going to live out this fantasy? With a real breathing human?

He'd shot a quick text to Sam as he'd stepped out with William, a location that he was going to with a warning to come check on him if he didn't text back in the morning. Sam, asshole that he was, just had sent thumbs up and eggplant emojis. Crude bastard.

Yet as soon as they came into William's darkened apartment, he couldn't help the flutter of nervousness.

"You okay?" William asked him, holding the door open.

Sebastian looked up into the brown eyes of his soon-to-be one night stand and then nodded, pretending confidence he didn't feel. Fake it until you make it right?

He stepped into the small hall and without much warning, William had him against the wall, his thicker arms holding him still as he began to kiss up Sebastian's neck. He gasped, closing his eyes. He'd expected the beard to be scratchy…itchy even, but William's chin was soft and the sensation of it on his neck made him pant.

"I'm clean," William told him. "Got condoms too. You?"

The question scrambled Sebastian's brain as he tried to remember the last time he was with a physical person, not just his fist and a computer screen. "Clean too," he gasped, feeling William's hands rub down his shoulders and back…then his thumbs were underneath his hoodie.

William stripped him that way, slowly, exploring him with his mouth and hands, stripping him of his hoodie and shirt, his tongue and mouth working a trail down his collar and shoulder.

"That feel good, Sebastian?"

Sebastian groaned, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the door.

"More," he groaned. "I need more."

"Yeah, I bet you do," William groaned, roaming his hands Sebastian's chest. "C'mon."

Sebastian felt William's hand on his and he followed him into another room, a small closet with a precisely made bed. He sat and looked up. There was a window on the side of the room, the streetlights and billboards the only illumination in the apartment.

William loomed over him and pulled off his t-shirt, tattoos barely hinted out as shadowy pictures on his pale skin. Sebastian swallowed and reached down, pulling off his shoes as William pulled his belt off, tossing it to the side. His heart began to beat faster as his partner dropped trousers and then let out a small swallow when he saw the bulge in William's shorts, simple black shorts that outlined narrow hips and muscles…and scars.

Before he could think too much about it, William was on him, pinning him underneath, his mouth on his shoulders again.

Sebastian realized with a bit of relief that William hadn't kissed his mouth. He wasn't sure why but he didn't think he wanted him to. That would have changed this somehow. He groaned as William's hand reached down and pulled him out, his fingers gentle as he worked his cock hard. It wasn't difficult, he was already feeling his heart slam into his chest as the bigger man's fingers rubbed and pulled his flesh.

"That feel good?"

Sebastian realized he'd been quiet, so used to keeping his moans quiet at home when he got off.

"Yeah," he panted, biting his lip as William's fist let him go. Then he arched, another cock rubbing against his now.

"Hey, look at me, Sebastian," William said, nipping his ear and then pulling his head back to stare down into his eyes as he pumped their cocks together, matching the stroke. Sebastian couldn't help it, he reached down and put his fist with Williams, then slid his hand over to the other man's hip. William groaned, rubbing harder.

"You got oil?" Sebastian panted. William nodded, his eyes locked on Sebastian's as they rubbed. A grin spread on William's face and he leaned close.

"You wanna take it?"

Sebastian's cock jerked at the intimate question. He swallowed and felt sweat break out on his forehead. It was surreal, this moment, if he thought about it too hard, he might back out, but before he could change his mind, he felt William's other hand lifting his hips and arched as his thumb rubbed his puckered hole.

"Oh holy shit," he cursed, panting.

"Yeah," William growled, "Yeah, you want it." There was a moment where their rubbing paused and Sebastian caught his breath, looking up at William's broad chest, covered in tattoos too intricate to decipher in the dim room. William reached into a drawer near the bed and Sebastian swallowed as he looked up the broad chest. He closed his eyes, feeling nervous again, but closing his eyes just made the pounding in his chest louder. He could hear the tell-tale squirt and then the tear of a wrapper with William's teeth. Sebastian took a deep breath and wondered if just maybe…he'd gone too far.

William wanted to drive into the man underneath him so badly but that would ruin it. He wanted it to be good, this night. He needed it to be good, needed to have the knowledge that they were both satisfied to get that high he was chasing. He had to keep his brain on the task at hand or he was likely to blow his load all over Sebastian's chest. And he wasn't ready for that yet.

Though.

The image of Sebastian sweating and messy with his cum didn't do a lot to keep him from wanting to stop.

Hot man? Check.

Willing body? Double check.

But it was his responses to touch that was driving William to distraction. Each moan was like a burst of color against the gray of his day. Each move, each toss of his head was like a paint brush, a firework of brightness against the grey of the day. Against the cold. Around them, it was all around them, but William had the cure right here in his bed, if he could just work them to exhaustion, tomorrow wouldn't be such a hard day.

He coated his fingers in oil, and then with gentle pressure, began to work them in, preparing his partner. His lover's body was tight, but after a few soothing movements, he felt him relax. Soon instead of the stiff hips and whimpers, Sebastian began to moan, the sound musical to William's hungry ears, then with each move Sebastian writhed, eagerly taking the invasion. William felt himself sweating, could feel his heart pounding but he didn't care. With each delve, with each exploratory thrust, the man underneath him cried out, and soon tears of pleasure were streaming. William took the chance removed his slick fingers, set himself close, his rock hard latex covered cock pressing against Sebastian's entrance and then leaned down, sucking on Sebastian's ear as he held his lover's knees high, before thrusting in.

"Stroke yourself," he growled, working himself in. Sebastian's eye liner was a streaked now, but his arm shot down and he worked it, panting. William adjusted, propping himself up over him, a hand down cupping his chin.

Sebastian stared up at him, panting, and William stared down, his cock ploughing them closer and closer. Then, in a move that shook William down to his bones, Sebastian leaned his head up and pressed his lips against William. William groaned and let the kiss happen. He crushed Sebastian against him, opening his mouth, letting him in, tongues mingling. For a precious moment, William could touch it…happiness.

With a spasm, he felt hot seed hit his chest as his balls seized up and then poured the same thing out into Sebastian.

He pulled back but kept Sebastian's head pressed against his. Sebastian's previously perfectly styled hair was a stringy mess against his pillow. He gasped and reached up, wrapping his arms around William's neck. William slipped his cock out and with a practiced slip, removed the condom and tied it off, tossing it into a basket near the bed. Sebastian had little spasms and sputters running through his body as he straightened his legs.

It was starting to fade, the color and with a panicked swallow, William pulled him close, clinging. Sebastian chuckled and in that dark nest, with no light to reveal the truth that they were two sweaty strangers just in a bed, he turned into his chest.

William relaxed, inch by inch and then, finally, sleep came.

Sebastian woke up feeling delicious and sore. He inhaled and smelled…stale sweat and sex stained sheets. He blinked bleary eyes and reached up to rub his eyes. They came back smeared and he chuckled, remembering William's throating promise. He looked down and saw that William's arm was over him, tattoos fading down his elbow. He swallowed, suddenly hitting a spike of anxiety. He had really fucking done it. He'd gone to a gay bar and gone home with a stranger. Sweat of a different kind broke out over his forehead. It had been cataclysmic, the sex. He'd fucked himself with toys before, trying to get the feeling of it…but it had been so different with another person. He shivered, remembering the feeling of William's hand on his chin as he took him, the feeling of safety and belonging.

"Hmmm."

Sebastian felt William loosen his arm and with a wriggle he got out of bed and found his boxers in the tangle of clothes on the floor.

"Hey," William said from the bed, eyes still closed. Sebastian turned to look at him and realized that maybe that was a bad idea.

Awake, William was a composed mountain of a man, calm eyes and sexy shoulders. Asleep, he was heartbreaking. His hair, previously gelled into a spiky strip over shaved sides had dropped into thick strands that fell around his head. His beard had been combed and trimmed last night. First thing in the morning, he was ruddy faced with beard strands poking every which way. It was endearing and unexpected.

"Hey," Sebastian said back, a bit nervous. William opened his eyes and Sebastian felt pieced by their blue gaze. For a moment, they were both still. Then William rolled over, pressing his palms against his face. Sebastian buckled his jeans and found his shirt, pulling it on.

"Morning. Where did you say you were staying?"

Sebastian shrugged, pulling his hoody on and looking around the apartment. It was Spartan, bare. There was a sink but it was clean of dishes. No real kitchen to speak of. Just a toaster oven on a table next to a microwave with a box of pantry goods. No refrigerator. It looked like the dumps that he'd seen when he was apartment hunting yesterday.

"Um, not staying. Just passing through, actually."

William sat up and Sebastian swallowed. He really was stacked, and it was hard to remember how they'd fit together the night before.

William stood and stretched and Sebastian turned his face away, embarrassed at how bold he was.

"Coffee?"

Sebastian opened his mouth to say, 'yes, actually coffee would be amazing,' when his phone vibrated in his jeans. He looked down and clicked the text. It was the automatic notification from the parts place that he'd come into town for in the first place. A polite query for signs of life from Sam was behind it. He shot off a 'thumbs up' to Sam and then looked up.

"Actually, I gotta go," he said, feeling regret.

William had put a pair of sweatpants on and was fiddling with a small pot. He turned then nodded, as if he wasn't bothered.

Of course he wouldn't be, Sebastian reasoned as he stood up. After all, he probably did this sort of thing all the time.

"Hey," William said, reaching out one hand and catching his shoulder before Sebastian could slip towards the door. "Last night? That was fun. If you're in Zuzu again, look me up."

Sebastian blinked at the invite and blushed. "You…you had a good time?"

William gave him a sexy grin. "Yeah. And uh, Sebastian? Your eyeliner is smeared."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 –

Later, William would remember that night as the best night he'd had for a long time. Because after Sebastian left and after the coffee was drunk and after the sheets were changed with military preciseness and the floor was swept and the trash was taken out, William checked the mail.

And found out his Pops had died.

It was a dreary day with a light, misting rain. Clouds of cigarette smoke hovered under the big pavilion that the funeral home had erected over the gravesite. Almost all the family had left but his dad had lingered and William couldn't leave him alone. They didn't speak, but that wasn't necessary. He'd always understood his dad without words, something that drove his mother to exasperation. He'd been the first one he'd come out too, expecting rejection. Only his dad had looked at the dirty magazine with ripped and toned men instead of sexy ladies and shrugged.

"Whatever rings your bell, boy." And that was that.

Today, the words were tight and William jones, just a bit, for a high to take away the pain of loss. His dad seemed to sense it and without much of a movement, shifted an extra cigarette over. William took a quick glance around for his mom and accepted it, lighting it off his dad's dying smoke.

"He always wanted more than one grandchild," his dad said with a sigh. "But me and your mom were the only ones who'd had kids."

William exhaled a cloud of smoke, relaxing, then tensed all over again as he looked down at the fresh grave, Grandpa Joe's name and year on it. It was next to his Grandma's resting place, the cemetery a peaceful park near the center of the city.

"He still has that farm out in Stardew Valley, you know." His dad's lighter flicked and William tracked the cherry on the end. He could pretend that the burning in his eyes was from smoke instead of emotion. Inhale pain. Exhale pain.

"Gonna sell it?"

His dad shook his head. "Nah. Can't. He deeded it to someone but his estate manager, the attorney, won't tell me who got it."

William nodded, eyes still locked on the grave. His Pops was gone.

That look gut him. Before all of their silences made sense. But now, there was emptiness in it. And it made it real, how short all this was. How meaningless his own existence felt right now. How much he was going to miss his Dad one day. He inhaled and exhaled smoke, unsure he'd even manage to be half the man his dad was by the time his dad took his own dirtnap.

Not to mention how much it sucked that Pops was gone. Pops had always understood him. William vaguely remembered a few years ago after checking into rehab that his Pops had simultaneously been checked into the nursing home. He'd gotten some letters about it, jokes about how they were both being put away by the family. But when he'd finally gotten clean enough to visit, the old man didn't recognize him. Didn't even know his name.

His left arm ached in an echo of past highs. His old dealer's face flashed for a moment and he squashed the urge.

He needed a fuck or something. He hit the cigarette instead and it didn't help.

The reception after the funeral was terrible. The food was cold, the talk stilted and his dad and he were like two puppets around his extended family. Everyone had a word about how great Pops had been as a person, about what a giving member of the community he was. Bullshit. Pops had hated most of the city after Grandma had died and fucked off to his farm where he could be away from these fake people. It was understandable, he reflected, sitting on the funeral home couch and watching the vultures circle. His vicious aunt and her beady eyed husband kept sharking around his dad, asking pointed questions about what would happen to the company. What would happen to Joe's car? Had they determined what would happen to the land? Had Joe kept any of his wife's jewelry?

One smart thing Pops had done, William reflected as he scowled at the old biddy, was to make sure a decision like that was outside the hands of anyone in their money grubbing family. In a moment of diplomacy that he figured he owed his mom, he stepped outside, intending to light up another cigarette but his mom followed him, snatching the lighter out of his hand.

"I could kill your father for starting you back up on that nasty habit," she snapped, tossing the small bic in her purse. William groaned but didn't argue with her. She looked strained enough. She and Dad had been completely responsible for all of Pop's senior care. He knew that she'd loved him, her own parents gone before he was 10.

"Well," she said, hugging herself on the back patio. "At least he's at peace."

Peace. He was dead. Sure, that was peace if that's what she meant. William didn't bother to agree with her, instead just opened an arm and wrapped it around her. She leaned into him. His mom was small, a foil to her beefsteak husband and son. He leaned down and smelled her hair as she leaned into him. It was nice, gardenia or something.

"You and Dad did the best you could, Ma." He said, giving her a squeeze. She shivered and then for the first time that week began to cry into his shoulder. William closed his eyes and held her, letting his bulk shield her from the eyes of her vulture in-laws.

No cousins on his dad's side. No grandchildren but him, the drug-addicted war vet with bloody hands. Some legacy for his grandfather to have. It wasn't good enough for the old man.

"He loved you, Will." His mom whispered after she'd gotten over the worse of her tears. He reached into his back pocket and handed her a handkerchief. She gave a cough and laugh when she took it, wiping her face. "Your father carries these too, you know?"

"Yup," William said, rubbing her back. "Pops did too."

"You're a lot like him, son," she whispered, blowing her nose and folding the cotton. "He'd be really proud of you."

William snorted. "Proud of what? Proud that I do data entry in the basement of Joja? Proud that I'm living in that shithole on Southside? Just because you're sad, doesn't mean you gotta lie Ma."

She slapped his shoulder. "Language, William, goodness sakes."

He smiled at her, knowing if she had the energy to scowl, she'd have the energy to get back her footing. Then he sighed, craving that cigarette that she'd taken away.

"Your grandpa left this for you," his mom said, handing him a creamy envelope. He swallowed but cocked his head at the note scribbled on the outside. 'Open When Despair Knocks'.

"Melodramatic," he said, slipping it into his coat. It was cool and the paper was dry. His mom shook her head.

"That's was Pops. Always a bit mysterious. Save it for a rainy day."

"Promise, ma."

"Promise you'll quit smoking," she ordered, pulling a compact out and checking her face. He grinned at her then, unable to help it. If she was scolding and ordering then she definitely would be okay.

"Promise, Ma."

"Promise you'll find someone nice and bring them home so I don't have zero grandchildren."

He coughed.

"Sort of hard to promise that Ma."

She rolled her eyes and snapped the compact shut. "Don't be naïve William, you and your future husband can adopt. But I mean it." She turned her head and looked back at the gathering.

"Life is too short to waste. Make use of yours."

Her words haunted him all the next week.

As he stepped into work and squeezed into his tiny cube, he stared at numbers that skimmed on his screen. Shipping orders for Joja contracts. He was supposed to enter them into the back up servers in case of a data loss.

It was boring and terrible and left too much time to think.

Friday night he went back to Mirage but Julio was still pissed off and he couldn't get in.

Still, Trixie met him at the back door.

"That um, guy I left with last week," He asked, handing her his last pack of cigarettes for her break, "You haven't seen him around have you?"

She shook her head, slipping it back into her back pocket.

"No, Bill. Sorry. Want me to call you if he comes by?"

William hesitated then smirked, "Nah girl. Greener pastures and more fish in the sea, right?"

She beamed at him and he headed out to another bar, Masquerade. It was a campier place, more floral than he usually liked. He tried to hook up with another guy in the bathroom but before they could get down to business, the man's cell rang and his face fell.

"Jeez, sorry man. That's my wife. I'll see you later."

And just like that. The Grey dripped back in.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

William went home alone to a house with no one. With nothing important.

It would be a lie to say he didn't think about eating a bullet that night. He'd been out of support groups for six months and never felt this spiral before. Yet, his mom had asked him to bring someone nice home. He closed his eyes, laying on his bed, and for a moment all he could see was Sebastian's face, eyeliner streaking…heartbeats and breathing matching his own…

He opened his eyes and cursed.

300 pushups later, William was exhausted enough to stay clean and to sleep.

Work bled into grey. The days were grey. The ride was grey. The clack of keyboards and the numbers scrolling on the screen were grey.

The only thing he focused on that day was finishing the pile of shreds. He had to enter the date and shred the pile. He had a good clip going that afternoon and with a tiny plan of hope he realized, maybe he'd get out a few minute early. It was enough of something to look forward to that picked up speed on his entry. 50 pages of entries turned into 30 and then 10.

The break came then.

He had 4 pages left. Four more pages to enter and he would step out an entire 30 minutes early. He could get to the bus first, not miss it like the last three days. It was close to raining and if he could go home dry…

Then Donna dropped 400 new pages into his basket. He froze in place. He leaned back, pulled his hair and groaned.

He slammed his fist on the desk, scaring the four people around him, eyes wide at his sudden outburst. His supervisor looked up over and scowled at him. William clenched his fists then opened his drawer, intending to grab his lunch box and to get the hell out anyway, to just walk out for the day…when he put his hand in his pocket. The letter mom had given him.

It was a letter from Pops.

Despair? That asshole was pounding at the door today. His heart began to pound and he swallowed, tears rising up.

He opened it, heedless of the fact that he was supposed to be on Joja's clock.

"My Dear William," William's eyes began to burn, "If you're reading this, you must be in dire need of a change. The same thing happened to me, long ago. I'd lost sight of what mattered most in life… real connection with other people and nature. So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong."

William scrubbed his eyes and then flipped it over.

The deed to Cloudburst Farm, his property and enough seed money for a new fucking start.

His Pops had known. His Pops had left it to him. The fuck if he was going to waste one more moment.

William quit that day.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Sebastian

It was midafternoon when Sebastian rode his bike back into Stardew Valley. The motorcycle part that he'd gotten in the city was perfect. It upgraded the horsepower on his bike and the new stabilizers made the ride home smooth. His encounter in the city? Magical. His night felt like it had been scripted out of his fantasies, the best ones that he could sink himself into for hours while waiting for code to compile.

Yet as he neared his home he almost questioned if it had really happened at all. Coming home was like putting on a sweater that had shrunk in the wash.

He parked his bike and shivered, his body still sore, almost as if it was trying to reinforce that not only had he had one of the best and most intimate nights of his life with another man, but that it was something only he knew about. He locked down his helmet and pulled his saddle bag over his shoulder. His stepdad was in the lab when he came in, his dark face knit in concentration, eyes skimming over a tablet with squiggles and graphs.

"Hey Demetrius," he said, quietly closing the door.

"Welcome back," he said, distracted, looking between his tablet and the vials of different colored liquid on the table. Sebastian didn't wait around for more. He and Demetrius tolerated each other out of mutual respect for his mom, but weren't in the habit of pretending that it was more than toleration.

He was almost to the stairs of his basement when Robin caught sight of him.

"Sebby!"

Busted.

He rolled his eyes and turned, face neutral. She was covered in sawdust from the workshop and grinning, ear to ear.

"You're home!" He nodded, shifting the bag. She gave him a dusty hug and he awkwardly patted her back, hoping she didn't smell anything weird on him.

"Did you get your part?"

He nodded and jerked a thumb towards the back.

"Yup. She runs like a dream now."

His mom chuckled. "One of these days you'll get a real girlfriend instead of that bike." She turned then paused, "Oh! And Maru got accepted into the remote program at Zuzu University! Isn't that great?"

His step-sister, Maru, only 3 years younger than he was, was of course a young genius. Unlike him. He'd been to university for one semester before becoming dissatisfied with the requirements and barriers to what he'd really wanted to do. So, like any entrepreneur loser, he'd moved back into his mom's basement and started his consulting business. Demetrius had bitched about his drop out for three months before he'd slammed his first paycheck (twice of what they'd spent in shitty college tuition for a semester) down and the kitchen table and ended that nonsense.

"Good for her," he said, feeling exhausted all over again. The bike had, unsurprisingly, not made his body any less sore after his extracurricular activities. "I'm tired. Didn't get much sleep in the uh, unfamiliar city. Night."

Robin gave a tight smile, swallowing her disappointment that he wasn't going to join the rest of them for dinner. At least she didn't point out that it was only 4 and not anywhere close to night. He felt the pinprick of guilt but the overwhelming need to shower and bury himself in his bed was stronger than his desire to please his mom. So he slipped into his sanctuary of cool darkness and dropped his stuff on his couch.  
*

Hours later, Sebastian woke up out of habit at 9pm. He scowled and rolled over in bed, laying his arm over his eyes. William's shadowy face was etched behind his eyelids.

 _Look at me, Sebastian….You wanna take it?_

He squeezed his lids and bit his lip, his cock growing hard just remembering the way William had touched him. William's hands had been more perfect than he'd dared to imagined them. All his other encounters, hurried mutual hand jobs behind the school bleachers…the one disastrous time he'd tried to kiss Sam…the uncomfortable loss of his virginity in college…none of them even compared in intensity to what he'd experienced last night.

It was only last night.

And he hadn't even gotten William's number.

Sebastian grit his teeth and rolled out of bed, marching into the shower and turning the water on cold. He wasn't going to play spank bank memory games with himself tonight. After all, what happened in Zuzu City, stayed in Zuzu. He was home and had a ton of work to get back to- work that would eventually pay for an overpriced apartment. Then, he mused as he dried his hair and brushed it back to his preferred style, he could afford to return to the Mirage and be the one to buy William's drink.

The thought was enough to calm his racing pulse, that maybe he could go back, go back as more than a weakling who needed help against some creep. Maybe when he went back, he'd actually impress William. Yeah. That was the plan.

Refreshed, he turned on his compilers and began to work. If he was awake, he might as well get some progress on the newest contracts.

It was three weeks later and Sebastian knew one thing for certain.

He didn't want to go to the bar.

He wanted to stay in his room and finish the last of the project changes on the new contract he had gotten last week. But changing Sam's mind would have taken more than logical and practical reasoning. To stay home would mean his best friend lounging on his basement couch and singing about all the fun they were supposed to be having while bouncing something noisy off the ceiling. If he was doubly unfortunate, Abigail would join them and no work would get done at all.

So, despite his new goals, his nicely laid plans just waiting for his finances to catch the hell up with his goals, he was stuck on a Friday night in the Stardrop Saloon- as far away from the thumping Mirage as a wooden broom was from a solar powered vacuum. He closed his eyes as someone put the same song on the jukebox for the third time that hour.

"—I said are you even listening?"

He glanced up, guilty. Sam, his best friend since his mom had moved him into the purgatory that was Pelican Town, was glaring at him. Abigail giggled on the couch in the lounge. They both shot her a glance and snorted at her amusement.

"Sorry man, what?"

Sam rolled his eyes and nudged him.

"I SAID, you dumbass, that the new farmer is staring at you."

Sebastian turned to look where Sam had jerked his head but Sam got in front of him before he could get a look.

"DUDE. Don't just look, jeez."

The urge to crack the pool stick over Sam's head was strong, but due to his own logical and practical nature, he resisted.

"You're crazy. What new farmer?" He tried to turn his body sideways but Sam was blocking his view.

Abigail bounced off the couch, suddenly enthusiastic.

"You didn't hear? Jeez, it's all Dad can talk about." She hopped onto the pool table her eyes sparkling.

Sam nudged him. "Dude, c'mon, he's had to have been by your Mom's shop. She's the only carpenter for like, sixty miles.

Sebastian shrugged. "Been working a lot." Abigail rolled her eyes.

"Why is he looking over here?"

"Who knows why Sasquatch does anything. He's been coming into Dad's to get seeds and sweet guts, that beard. You'd think that we didn't have razors."

Sebastian frowned. "Nothing wrong with beards."

She snorted and he took the moment of distraction to lean past Sam.

And dropped his pool stick.

Because sitting at the bar, drinking a pint of Gus's finest was William, his one night stand from a month ago.


	4. Chapter 4

The last week had been a blur, but a good one. Like when you got on a merry-go-round at the park and your buddy spun you too fast.

It hadn't been hard to clear out of his apartment and his parents had enthusiastically bought his bus ticket, thrilled the farm was going to stay in the family instead of sold off to pay possible debts. William had spent the last week in a frenzy of work and exploration of the big plot of land. He'd been a kid when he and his dad visited, but after joining the army out of high school, he'd not been back in almost 10 years. Now, here he was, 28 and finally feeling like he was truly on his own.

This morning when he'd walked into the general store, Pierre mentioned that Gus was in dire need of some of the parsnips he'd just managed to coax out of the ground. Shrugging and figuring that it was always better to be friends with the closest source of intoxication, he'd washed up and changed into a clean shirt, figuring he'd try and trade veggies for liquid bread.

The Stardrop Saloon was quaint and homey, so different than the industrial holes he usually sharked for partners in. William skimmed the clientele when he'd stepped in, nodding at Robin, the carpenter who'd been part of Mayor Lewis's welcoming committee, then turned his attention to the bar.

Gus, a good and upstanding looking fellow grinned a toothy smile when he saw the dozen parsnips he presented.

"A present and a greeting, my good sir," William said, planting the box down between them on the bar.

Gus rubbed his hands together, "Well," he breathed, picking one and squeezing it gently. It wasn't huge, just about hand's length. "This is perfect, m'boy. Alright. Excellent. I'll buy the box."

William waved a hand. "Nah, just put it on a tab and let me drink off of it. We'll even up just fine that way."

Gus huffed with pleasure and nodded. "Emily, get my favorite farmer some of that pale ale I've got on the top shelf. Welcome to Pelican Town," he hesitated.

"William," he supplied.

"Too long. You go by Bill?"

William chuckled and accepted the drink, then turned his head around and began to look around. He frowned, a face skimming past his view. He rubbed his eyes, a bit confused. No way he'd just seen…but there he was, jaw open and eyes wide, sans eye-liner, Sebastian.

The last man he'd been with…who was still living and breathing in his nightly fantasies.

Self-consciously William glanced over at the mirror behind Gus. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.

The sides of his head were in need of a touch up shave. His shirt was long-sleeved and fresh, than Joba and had taken a shower to get most of his farm off of his body, but the errand to the pub had just been to get the lay of the land. Shit, he hadn't even put on cologne. Sloppy, he chided himself. He took another breath, controlling his pounding heart and glanced back towards where the man stood, eyes wide, before fumbling with his pool stick and spinning around, giving William his back.

William frowned, and used the mirror to get the lay of the land. Sebastian's weirdness had been noticed. Lewis, the mayor raised an eyebrow at him and Marnie, William's southern neighbor who'd dropped off a scraggly kitten the other day, was chuckling into her beer. Demetrius, nodded over at his wife towards the bar. Well. Wasn't this a small town. He took a long draw on his ale and tapped the bar.

"Another, Em? If you please, doll?"

She giggled, then poured him another, handing it over with a big smile before turning back to wash the empty. William tried to wait, figuring Sebastian would come over, but after more avoidance, he rolled his eyes. No time like the present to face a problem head on.

He stood up and took himself and his ale to the game room at the back of the pub where an ancient Arcade cabinet sat next to a couch covered in duct tape patches. There was only one pool table but was in good shape with minimum rubbing on the felt. The balls were in less pristine condition, looking like they'd been wacked around for decades. He nodded at the others there, a girl all in black and a blonde guy who were staring at him like he was an alien, then ignored them as he approached. Sebastian had his back to him, his body leaned against the pool table, eyes locked on the wall. William stepped in front of his eyes then casually leaned against the wall, crossing an ankle and sticking a hand in his pocket.

"Hey Sebastian," he said, using his beer to hide the expression on his face. Sebastian shut his eyes then slowly opened them, his shoulders hunched at his name.

He looked younger today that he had that last time he'd seen him. Less confident. His hair was limper, as if it hadn't been washed in a couple of days, falling heaver on the left side of his face. Sebastian swallowed then stuck one hand into his hoodie, the other still clinging to the pool stick.

"William. Didn't uh, didn't think I'd see you in a place like this."

William cocked his head at him. If body language were a neon sign, Sebastian's would be saying, "Dear Earth, Please Eat Me Right Now"

The silence between them stretched until Sebastian shot a pleading look at the man next to him. William frowned.

"Hey Man," the guy said, immediately offering a hand out. "I'm Sam. That's Abigail." He nodded back to a purple-haired girl wearing a choker and low cut black t-shirt. She was edgy for this small town, but didn't have tattoos or piercings. He held his hand out and nodded.

"Hey. I'm William."

He raised an eyebrow at Sebastian but the guy's face was tighter than a clam's ass at high tide. The hand holding the pool stick had white knuckles. He finally dropped his gaze to his ale.

So.

It was going to be like that.

He glanced curiously at the three of them.

"So Abigail," he said, testing the waters. "You and Sam….? Y'all dating?"

Sam barked out a laugh and Abigail's face turned red. That got an expression; a glare at him. Good. Anger was at least a shared feeling. William had spent too many months of stationary drills to let his own feeling show right now. Sebastian wanted them to be just ho-hum acquaintances? Sure. Because he came to the stars with all his acquaintances. He long swallow of beer- a particularly good microbrew that Gus had made last season. Better than the pisswater Julio served. Too bad the guys weren't what he'd thought they were.

"Naw man," Sam chuckled. "Just friends." William nodded, his tone light but his words were sharp.

"Ah. Sorry Sebastian, didn't mean to get your girlfriend mixed up."

Pay dirt.

Sebastian slammed his pool stick down on the table and started to speed walk towards the exit. Abigail and Sam's laughter died and they both looked at each other uncomfortably. They stared at William. He raised an eyebrow.

"Guess he was ready to go."

Sebastian was in the fucking closet. Welp. There went THAT particular hope that he had no right to nurture. _Goodbye little dream. Enjoy your bullet._

"Right," Abigail said after another moment of awkward and painful silence. "Well, Um. Sam. Wanna go to your place?"

"Yeah," Sam said, skirting around William like he was a bomb. William leaned against the pool table as they left then turned back towards the bar. He put down his empty and crooked a finger at Emily.

"Em. Shot of whisky please. Neat."

Sebastian sped walked towards the mountain road that was going to take him home, knowing he looked freaked out. Everyone had seen. Everyone had been staring and had Seen William talking to him. And William, just as gorgeous and powerful as he'd remembered, had Looked at him, looked at him with absolute recall. And for a moment, just a second he _remembered_ too. Could feel himself getting fucking hard with the memory while standing next to Sam of all the people. His look…his eyes, pinning him in place, as if drawing out everything they'd done together. The walls had started to close in and then…instead of that perfect gentleman who had punched out a creep for him…William had begun to make fucking girlfriend jokes with Abigail.

As if he hadn't had to avoid those sorts of rumors for the last six years. As if his Mom wasn't always asking why he didn't just Ask Abby Out Already.

He reached up and scrubbed his hand through his hair, his feet taking him home. The road was so familiar here, he barely needed to look where he was going.

"Yo! Seb!" He closed his eyes tightly.

Fuck. _FUCK._

Sam and Abigail caught up to him, both running as fast as they could.

Before he could think- all logic centers scrambled at control panel Sebastian- he snapped, "Did he tell you?"

Silence.

What did that mean?

He whipped around eyes wide and looked at them both.

"Did he TELL you?"

Abigail took a step back, her face hard to read in the dark of the woods.

"Seb, jeez, tell us what?"

He pulled on his hair.

Sam stepped up, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Dude, haven't ever seen you this upset. Jeez, calm down."

Calming down seemed like an excellent fucking idea. Sebastian pulled his pack of smokes out of his pocket and within a few seconds had one lit and took a long drag. They both fell into step beside him as he turned to keep walking towards home. Abigail threw her hands up.

"You're acting weird Seb! Wanna clue us in why Sasquatch made you run off?"

Sam was watching him and suddenly got it, sucking in a breath. "Oh Shit."

Abigail groaned, throwing her head back. "Well fuck, now Sam has figured it out and I haven't. Um, guys?"

Sam waved a hand at her. "Shut up Abby, just shut up. Seb, it wasn't him was it?"

He felt like he'd been gut punched. He took another drag of his cigarette.

"The while fucking town knows now, don't they."

"Know what!"

Sebastian whipped around and yelled, 'That I'm GAY Abigail, fuck!"

She stopped, his announcement freezing her in place.

"Dude, relax. Hey, Seb!" Sam snagged his shoulder and squeezed. Sebastian wanted to hyperventilate. He was gay and his big, hairy, gay lover was wandering town and introducing himself to every single person who'd known him since he was in diapers. His mom and step-dad had been in there. His mom's customers. Every single person would know by tomorrow morning what had happened.

"Sebastian," Abigail said softly, coming over on his other side. "Seb, really, it's okay. It doesn't matter."

Sebastian shut his eyes and tapped the ash off his cigarette, exhaling.

"No one knows you're gay dude," Sam said softly, rubbing his back. "No one knows anything, okay. They just think that William guy is a dick, okay?"

Sebastian latched onto the words like a lifeline.

"Why would people think you're gay because William spoke to you?" Abigail said, confused. "I mean. He doesn't really exude 'Fagness' you know."

"Fuck off Abby," Sam snapped. "And don't say that, rudeass."

She rolled her eyes and Sebastian felt like he was finally getting air to come into his lungs.

"When I was in Zuzu City," Sebastian mostly whispered, "I hooked up with someone. That someone was…William."

Sam clicked his teeth, his hand still steady on Sebastian's shoulder.

Abigail coughed and then in a low tone said, "Wait. Are you telling me…that the one guy in all of that big ass city that you decide to sleep with…is the same one who moves here….to a town that hasn't had a new person since Shane and Jas rolled into town three years ago?"

The summary made him decide that yes, it was an excellent idea to have a second cigarette.

As he lit that one she shook her head.

"Well shit."

"That about sums it up," Sam said. He slowed as they got to the lake. Turning up the hill ahead would put them in sight of Sebastian's house. As if mutually agreed they all stayed near the wooden bridge at the lake.

"No one knows you think?" Sebastian asked, burying his free hand into the hoodie.

"Nope. Like, jeez Seb, it's not like he came up and hugged you or something. Or tried to kiss you." She giggled. "I can't believe you'd want to kiss that big ugly beard."

Irritation flickered through him. He put out the butt of his cigarette against his shoe and put the butt in his pocket. He pulled up the hood of his jacket.

"It's not ugly." He turned away from them and headed towards his house. "Thanks guys. See you tomorrow."

Abigail and Sam stared at his back as he disappeared into the dark, neither of them quite sure what to say.

The walk home from the Pub was quiet. The city itself was quaint. Everything was so closely placed that he could walk all the way from his new property to the town center.

It had been a week of body-breaking hard work. He hadn't been this sore since Boot Camp. Still, it was so much better than the last two years of slaving away at Joja. His first day in and he'd walked into a rocky and wood-covered stretch of land. His grandpa's house had a sagging porch and he'd had to patch a hole in the roof first thing his second day after waking up to a bed full of rain.

Still, he could relax.

Back in Zuzu, he never walked home relaxed. He was always keeping an eye out on the people. Wondering, who would come at him with a smile and a gun. Who was going to jump him. Here, in the deep dark of the wilderness night he didn't fear. Because this darkness was honest. It was real and present and other people felt it too. It wasn't like feeling strangled. Out here in the country, on his own land that had his name on it, the air was sweet and clean.

There wasn't the noise of cars and construction equipment. He didn't hear sirens every night. Instead he had loud cicadas and owls hooting their joy at the darkness.

He looked up and could see the moon and so many beautiful stars.

He was alone because there was no one else here. Not alone in a sea of strangers who wouldn't notice if he never showed up again.

He got to his porch, kicked the dirt off his boots and stepped inside.

Pop's old tools were stacked in a box he'd drug out of a broken shed on the corner of the property. He'd meant to find Clint, the blacksmith to see if he could trade them in for something better but seeing Sebastian had scrambled his brains right the hell up.

He pulled his shirt out of his jeans and unbuttoned it. It was one of Pop's old ones that he'd pulled out of mothball storage. Probably old fashioned with buttons on the pockets and a collar, but he'd needed something. The spring mornings were too chilly for t-shirts and besides, it was all that had been clean. He uncuffed the long sleeves and pulled it off, tossing it with the other clothes he had to figure out how to wash.

There had been one more advantage to wearing the long sleeved relic. He'd been keeping his track marks covered.

William looked at the old scars as he grabbed his razor and hesitated. Then grabbed the razor strop and pulled it back and forth, the movement soothing; the sound rhythmic. He remembered when he'd been a boy and Grandpa had stropped an almost identical straight razor, his dad giving him dramatic eyebrows. Dad had always been clean, but he liked a beard. Liked the way it hid the burn marks from when his unit had nearly been blown up by a Gotoro ambush.

William was really good at hiding scars. He was a fucking expert.

And that snub by Sebastian had, somehow, left a mark.

Fuck Sebastian.

William glared at the strop and then finished, putting it to the side as he began to mix the lather in a bowl.

Asshole.

It was stupid to care of course. He'd had dozens of nights like that one. Nights where he'd been looking for someone easy. Nights where he'd been out trawling the club waters and come up with a hot boy. If Sebastian wanted to avoid it, that was his damage.

Dick weasel.

He began to lather up the sides of his head, focusing on the line he was making. He wanted to keep some hair long after all. Couldn't have a proper undercut if he shaved himself bald. And really, in the end, it didn't bother him.

He didn't care that Sebastian had pretended like that hadn't even known each other.

 _Chicken shit._

He turned his head left and right then put the blade against his skin, cleaning up the shag and fuzz that had started to grow on his head.

He wasn't ashamed of who HE was. William was gay. He liked men and he didn't have a problem with it. And if anyone in this pissant town had a kink of their ass about it, they could come deal with him face to face.

 _Eyeliner streaks down his cheeks_

He tossed the hair coated shaving cream on the sink and glared back at his reflection, then turn the started on the other size of his head.

He was over that noise. He had too damn much work to do on the farm anyway to play fuck-fuck games with a scared little queer in the closet. If he wanted to make himself white-faced and pale just because he'd run into a past mistake, that was his business. William had plenty of things to clean up on his own land and wasn't concerned with whatever Sebastian's deal was. It was all water under the leaky bridge.

William finished the shave and dropped the razor in the sink before turning and punching the wall. It hurt his fist. It hurt good. He jerked the towel down and rinsed his head.

He didn't care at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sebastian's house was silent at 2am. His sister and parental-units asleep.

As this was a natural and healthy thing, Sebastian brain rejected it as unacceptable and popped the solution to the directory issue his client kept running into right into his cerebral cortex to wake him up. It was so blindingly obvious, he wondered why he hadn't realized it before. All he had to do was fix the data organization. He sat up, yawning and his brain continued to chug through the problem. Considering the amount of clean up he'd done in the coding over the last several days and the worthless tech who had been over the server before getting fired, it was really no wonder he hadn't seen it right away.

His clock glowed the time, bright red numbers that chided him for his poor sleep habits. He closed his eyes but then another logical thought inserted itself, reminding him this would be a good time to go ahead and make the changes. No one from the user base on the server would be awake. Business hours were 9-5 at this client's main work base. He could slip in, test the changes and if they weren't working, hey, it wouldn't slow down any daily work from his client's staff. If he wanted he could go back to sleep after he finished. Maybe after this fix, he could turn in the final billable hours and mark the server set up project off his list.

That decided him and he stood up, stretching. He turned on his main machine, a mammoth workhorse rig that was networked to a mini server he'd built to maintain all of the different storage he used to back up major projects, and trudged to his bathroom to splash some water on his face.

He had a small counter, a stand up glass door-style shower and a blanket of styling products over all available surfaces. In one corner were cosmetics that Abigail had helped him pick out for their band gigs. Bleeding over into it was hair dye and gel. There were combs and brushes, as well as a few cans of hair wax that he'd used to keep his hair under control. He dug around in the pile until he'd fished out his tube of toothpaste. He lathered up a toothbrush and paused when he saw his eyeliner, knocked out from under the cosmetic detritus.

Goddamn it.

Everything from last night flooded back, for once, superseding the solution to his coding dilemma.

Input William. Error Message.

He tossed the tube of eyeliner in the trash then brushed his teeth.

Logic rose up in the peace of his room as he scrubbed.

His mom hadn't bothered him when she'd gotten home – a sign that she'd not thought anything major was happening. Everyone had just come in after their evening and gone to bed. If they all had thought something had changed, he didn't think they'd just ignore it.

That soothed his heartrate. He spit, rinsed and tossed the toothbrush into a cup.

He stepped out and put on a shirt, went upstairs and slipped up the hall into the kitchen.

Dark silence greeted him. He was alone at least. His stomach growled and he padded down the hall on quiet feet to the kitchen.

He made coffee, raided the fridge and retreated, a shadow stealing sustenance.

He sat down, arranged his bounty, took a sip of coffee and remembered the smell of it being ground before he'd left William's apartment, a month ago.

William lived in Pelican Town.

It wasn't something that was going to just go away. Which meant for better or for worse, it was only a matter of time before the whole sordid tale was so much fodder for the village gossip machine. He leaned back in his chair and blew a strand of hair out of his eyes.

Then he turned on music: electric rock and a keening vocalist to flood his mind and drown the irritating and distracting thoughts. He tried to focus on the solution that had woken him up but it was like grasping sand. Helpfully, his memory reminded him of useless and stressful stimuli instead.

William from the city. William, larger than life with a sexy undercut and shoulders big enough to lift a man off the ground, was now in his world. Was now stomping around Pelican Town with his tattoos and his muscles and his sharp gaze that could remind him of sordid deeds without any words.

A wrecking ball, careening right towards the little bubble he'd erected around his life. Around his family and his privacy.

Still. William had saved him that day.

If he could just find the nerve to talk to him, _privately_ , maybe it would be okay.

Maybe.

He squeezed his eyes, let out a breath, took a sip of coffee and then got to work.

It wasn't hard to tune it out then. He had processed the new information so now all he had to do was focus on his fingers and the keys. He dug up the directories and within a few moments had hit that treasured work zone that he could stay in for hours while he determined what the hell had gone wrong with the organization of the client's server.

It was a relief because computers were so much easier to deal with than people.

William woke up at the alarm at six and stepped outside into a dim and beautiful morning. He inhaled sweet air and stretched, yawning.

His eyes skimmed the fields that he'd planted and the area he'd cleared the day before. According to the journal that Pops had left behind, he had just enough time left in the season to get some green beans in the ground. He hadn't made it to Pierre's in time to see if he had any in stock the day before, so the sooner the better.

And when he dressed, he wasn't at all concerned about running into Sebastian and didn't make sure his beard was groomed in case he saw him. Nope. After all, if he was right, ½ the town was around at any given time, so he might as well make a good impression on his neighbors. It had nothing to do with Sebastian. He glanced at the dent he'd put in the wall.

Yep. Not one bit.

"How do I look?" He asked Ingrid, the orange kitten Marnie had dropped off the other day.

Ingrid paused in her grooming, met his eyes and went back to licking her paw.

"Good enough," William declared.

As much time as he'd found he'd been talking to himself, it was good that he had the cat around to keep him from sounding crazy. Though, he reflected as he grabbed a bag for seeds and shoved his wallet in his back pocket, it wasn't like there was anyone close enough to judge. That thought cheered him. He could wander around his property singing at the top of his lungs and there wouldn't be anyone to hear or call the police. Did this town even have police?

The walk to the village was a good exercise in recognizing the local flora. According to Pop's journal, the different plants could be made into seeds and the domesticated varieties were in high demand in the area.

He already had a few different varieties of things when he finally made it to the general store. His legs were warm from the walk and he stepped into Pierre's feeling cheerful.

Behind the counter a sandy-haired, bespeckled man looked up then waved.

"Morning Pierre."

"William! Welcome. You're up bright and early."

William grinned back and shrugged, putting his backpack on the counter. "Early bird. Something something something Worm."

Pierre laughed. The shop was busy this morning, William noticed. Good. Places like this had a lot of character. Not all of the shelving matched; some was wood and some was metal. The produce section was small but changed daily. William figured he wasn't the only farmer in the area, but he was definitely the closest. He pulled out his notes of which seeds he needed. Just as he opened his mouth to ask Pierre what he could get, the bell behind him jingled and the door creaked. Pierre's face went from relaxed to tense. He turned his head, curious to see who would get the generally cheerful man's hackles up.

The man who shambled in didn't look like much. He had oily black hair and was thick around the waist. His frame was squat and he wore a hideous red bow tie. He had a jowly face with a pocked nose, thick with pores.

"Morris," Pierre muttered. William cocked his head.

"He trouble?"

"The worst kind," Pierre said softly before coming out from behind the counter.

Curious, William followed him, taller than the slender retail owner. Morris scowled, looking around at the bustling shop.

"I was wondering where all the business had gone this morning."

"What are you doing here, Morris?" Pierre said, his body stretching up and growing bigger in the open space around them. Morris sneered, looking him up and down before dismissing him.

"Still hanging on, Pierre? Last I checked, you were only a few missed mortgage payments away from closing," He looked around and his scowl deepened, "and all my customers are here too? Now, now Pierre. Greed doesn't become you."

He pulled some papers out of a pocket and called, "Excuse me! Attention everyone!"

Pierre closed his fists and growled softly but just stared, eyes hard. William frowned looking back and forth between them.

Shoppers around them slowed and turned their heads, blinking in surprise and murmuring at Morris's call.

"I have 50% off coupons with me for Joja's stock today! Exclusive sale, folks!"

Eyes shined and within a few minutes he was surrounded.

"What bullshit," William hissed.

Pierre looked sick.

"Fifty percent off?" He closed his eyes and his shoulders slumping, "I can't take that kind of hit, damn his eyes."

William felt the rage building and let go of his pack, dropping it next to him. This wouldn't do. Not at all.

"You!" he barked, digging down into his gut and pulling out the drill sergeant voice from a pit he thought it had died in after he'd left the service.

Morris turned and people jumped out of the way as William stalked over to him and grabbed him by the collar of that stupid looking bowtie.

"Hey!" Morris protested, trying to jerk away. William narrowed his eyes at the pudgy little slime ball.

"What the hell is your problem, Man?"

Morris threw his hands up and coupons flew around them like bizarre, brightly colored confetti.

"Unhand me you, you…punk!" he squeaked.

"What the hell," he shook him again, "Is your problem? You can't just come into a man's shop and do this shit man."

Morris's ridiculous round glasses had slipped when William had shook him and he struggled, pushing his chubby fingers against William's wrist.

"Did you hire this punk, huh Pierre?" Morris sputtered, struggling. William jerked him back as Pierre came closer.

"William, um, maybe you shouldn't—"

"Shouldn't what?" William growled, furious at the little shit. He looked up and realized most of the customers, frightened of the confrontation had gathered up the scattered coupons and left, leaving the store empty.

"It's not worth it," Pierre said, his hand on William's shoulder now.

With a muttered, 'fuck', William let the asshole go, letting him drop on his butt. Morris scrambled to his feet and brushed himself off, straightened his glasses and then stiffened his spine.

"You just wait," he spit. "Joja is going to _destroy_ this stupid little store. You just wait. You'll be begging me on your knees to sell this shitty little hole in the wall."

Rage burned in William, hot and fast.

Just as fast as the impulse ran through him, he lunged, throwing his fist with a focused power that hit Morris hard right in the sternum. As the man coughed, losing his air, William grabbed this man by his greasy combover and slammed his porous little nose onto his knee, then threw him back on the ground. Morris's glasses has broken into two pieces and he had a blood stain on his jeans, but he didn't care.

"If you EVER," he said, his tone calm, even as the blood beat in his ears from adrenaline, "Darken my friend Pierre's door again, I'll do more than break your nose. Now get the hell out of here you pencil dicked weasel."

Morris was choking and coughing, but he half scrambled, half crawled out of the store, the door slamming behind him.

Silence.

Then Pierre let out a low whistle.

"That's. That's some temper you got there, William," he said carefully, keeping his distance. William's high at the burst of violence slowly drained out, replaced by logic. Logic had, of course, been there the whole time, but his inner he-man had kicked that motherfucker into a closet so that business could be settled.

He rubbed the back of his neck, which was currently burning, and turned to face Pierre squarely prepared for the hammer of lawful order to kick him in the nuts.

Pierre had his hands in his pockets and was looking grim.

"You gonna call the law?" William asked, dropping his hands down by his side.

Pierre snorted and shook his head.

"Nah. And if Morris is smart, he won't either. C'mon kid. I'll buy you a beer."


	6. Chapter 6

9:30 AM Sebastian's alarm began to beep and he pushed his headphones off his head, rubbing his eyes.

He wanted a cigarette. Plus the traffic had begun to pick up on the server and from what he could tell of the three bug tests he'd been running and the increased stress, the solution was working. He shot off an email to the office admin, logged the time stamps on his tracking program and sent those to his billable hours file, then shut down, yawning. Not by for six hours of coding.

He grabbed his dishes and went upstairs, bee-lining to the kitchen.

"Well, who woke up this morning. Nice to see that you live, Sebastian."

His step-dad was sitting at the table, an open paper in front of him. Sebastian rolled his eyes and flipped his hair out of his face. Three steps to the sink. Two squirts of soap. One twist of a sink handle and he had created some white noise. If Demetrius had any more sniper comments, he could pretend he didn't hear them.

The paper rattled again and when he turned off the faucet, Demetrius tried again.

"You left the bar in a hurry yesterday. Everything okay?"

Sebastian was proud of himself for not dropping the cup he was drying.

"Things are fine. Where's Mom?"

Demetrius nodded his head outside.

"Went to go get some more lumber from the southern forest. Probably won't be home until lunch."

Sebastian finished the last dish and stuck his damp hands in his hoodie pockets, starting towards the door. He needed a smoke.

"So what did that new farmer say to you yesterday, huh?" He asked again, "your mom and I were trying to figure it out."

Sweat broke out on the back of Sebastian's neck. Shit. Would he just let it go? This was exactly the problem with living at home. Both the older adults of the house thought they had some sort of right to his business. He'd known they were watching but hadn't bothered coming up with an explanation to stave it off. Poor planning on his part.

"Nothing. It was nothing." He tried to skirt around Demetrius, the craving running down the back of his neck. He wanted out of this room. Away from the questions he wasn't ready to answer.

Demetrius held up a hand, his face focused. "He's a stranger you know. Sort of rough. If he wasn't polite to you, I can talk to Mayor Lewis about it."

His stomach dropped. Of all the times for Demetrius to take an interest in his well-being, it was just his luck it was about exactly what he wanted him to leave alone.

He played out that conversation in his mind. Mayor Lewis would mosey over to William's farm to ask if everything was alright with 'Robin's boy' and William would… well. He actually had no clue what William would do. He was a wild card in this equation.

Still, the last thing Sebastian wanted was the freaking Mayor finding out that the town's resident recluse was out playing hide the pickle with strange men from Zuzu City. He averted his eyes from Demetrius's probing gaze and side stepped the hand blocking his exit.

"Nah. Nothing like that." He tossed his hair, something he knew irritated Sebastian to an illogical level. "See you, Demetrius. I'm going to Sam's." He didn't run because that would have drawn attention, but he did walk quickly, making good on his escape.

Pierre was a strange cookie, he decided. He'd closed his shop up in the middle of the day and dragged him across the town square to go invade Gus's bar. They'd sat while the husky bartended had belly laughed at Pierre's creative retelling of the event.

"I hate that Joja Mart," Gus groused as Pierre settled into a pint. "They came in here a couple of years ago and bulldozed that northern part of the city, but they don't maintain anything. They don't do much of anything but try and destroy the local businesses."

William shrugged. "Tell me about it. I used to work in their databases in the city. Entering shipping numbers, backing up their sales data. It sucks. Still, small communities like this are where they tend to thrive the best."

Pierre's face grew gloomy.

"Sales at the my store have dropped since they came in. I don't know what we'll do if I end up closing. I have everything invested in that place."

Gus grimaced and pour another shot into his whiskey glass. William tapped the bar next to his own. Only a dick would make the poor guy drink alone.

"It's okay man," William said, patting Pierre on his back. "They can't get seasonal stuff as fresh as you can. I've got a bunch of crops going to be ready in a couple of days for harvest."

"See, Pierre?" Gus said, topping off William's glass. "Ole Bill over here is going to help you out."

William chuckled and shook his head. "Where'd you get Bill from? It's William, Gus."

He smirked. "Farmer Bill fits you much better than a long name like _William_. C'mon, we never called your grandpa, _Farmer Joseph_."

William sighed, shook his head then drained the shot and put his glass rim-down on the bar.

"Alright! Well. Peirre." He stood and it was a credit to his near decade of poor decisions that he didn't even sway on his feet. "You send that girl," He snapped his fingers trying to recall her name.

"Abigail," Pierre supplied.

"Yup. Abigail. You send Abigail to fetch me if that sniveling dick-nugget," Gus coughed out a wheezing laugh, "Comes back around to cause more trouble."

Pierre cackled then drained his own glass. "No problem Bill. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Same seed time. Same seed place." He unbuttoned the top button of his shirt as he stepped out, feeling flushed from the good whiskey that Gus had broken out.

One of the advantages to country life, William decided as he meandered home in broad daylight, was that he could be publicly intoxicated without any real consequence. The boonies had their pros. And at least he had no risk of driving drunk, what with not having a car. Hell, he'd only seen two vehicles in the whole damn town. As he neared his farm, he unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled them up to his elbows. He'd have to just get more tattoos to cover up the marks that had bothered him so much. Maybe he'd get a mural of farm crops to paint his arms with. A sign of his new life. A tribute to his grandpa.

He lost some of his joviality as his feet hit dirt.

It was a pretty serious problem that Pierre was facing. Joja's bottom line was always the most important goal to these retail stores. The online stores and call centers all had harsh quotas and he didn't doubt that the big wigs back at the home office had some similar bullshit going on at the retail store.

No one that he'd known of had ever successfully taken down a supercenter like the one Pierre had described, but as he stepped into the haven of his property he decided that perhaps it was time that there was a first.

"You okay man?" Sam asked him when he walked into his room. Sebastian groaned then flopped dramatically onto of Sam's bed.

"I'm tired," he confessed into Sam's pillow.

"It's gotta be exhausting to be so conflicted dude." Sebastian fished his hand out of the blankets and lifted a middle finger. Sam laughed because he was an asshole who enjoyed Sebastian's pain.

"C'mon. It's gonna be okay. We can do band practice and whatever junk you got going on in your head can get dealt with. Abby should be here any–"

The door burst open and Abigail came in giggling.

Sebestian rolled up and cocked his head as she closed the door, grinning so wide her face was like to cramp.

"Sam- hey Seb! Guys! You're never going to believe this."

Sebastian stood up and came around, shoulder to shoulder with Sam as they came to her side.

"Believe what?" Sam asked.

"This!" She pulled out her phone and turned it sideways so they could see whatever she'd recorded.

At first it seemed like it was just a side-shot view of her dad's shop. Sam's manager, Morris was in the middle of a crowd of people, handing out coupons. Sebastian's back shot with tension as he saw William enter on the side of the screen, hollering. He flashed back to the fury and power that William had dealt out against Chad back at Mirage. He brought his hand to cover his mouth as William lifted Morris up by his necktie.

"Holy shit," Sam breathed, eyes big. "He's only using one hand."

"Just wait!" Abby giggled, her hand shaking a bit from whatever anticipation of whatever it was that William was about to do. Sebastian was nailed to the spot.

A few minutes later and all three of them gave out low, "Oooohs," as William delivered his gut punch and followed up with the knee to Morris's nose.

"Shit, that's gonna leave a mark," Sam said with absolute glee. "Wonder if he'll be at work Monday."

"Fuck me," Sebastian whispered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Right!?" Abby said, sinking down onto her heels and sitting cross-legged. "Mom is all in a tizzy about violence doesn't solve anything but Dad went and practically gave the guy a metal."

Sam shook his head and chuckled. They both glanced over at Sebastian but he wasn't paying attention to them. Was William okay? Was Morris going to call the cops and put him in jail for that?

"That was assault, guys," he said softly.

Abby snorted. "Maybe but it's about time that someone put that asshole in his place."

"They ain't gonna do shit." Sam declared, waving an arm as if to erase the words. "William was old man Joe's grandson. He and Mayor Lewis were tight. No way have they arrested him."

"C'mon, Sebastian, you're city Sasquatch is AWESOME!" Abby said, bouncing up. Sam grabbed his guitar and nodded over at the keyboard.

"Sebastian, dude. Chill. Get on the keys and let's get some practice in. It's cool."

Sebastian frowned. Couldn't they see the bigger picture here? William was like, a loose cannon or something; wandering around and punching people he didn't like. That kind of thing was cool in the movies but in real life… it was dangerous.

"Sebastian," Abigail said, her eyes amused, "If everyone is talking about what a studly beefcake Mr. Smackdown is and how he beat up Morris, they're not going to think that he's batting for the other team. No one is going to even remember that weirdness yesterday. This is a good thing."

"Why? Because guys like William don't like guys?" He knew that she was trying to help. That it wasn't what she meant. But the words snapped out anyway. He felt prickly, like his skin was sandpaper and everything that brushed against him was painful and chafing.

Sam's face grew cautious, glancing between the two. Abigail rolled her eyes and sat on the drum stool.

"Um, it's not the first thought I have when I look at a guy like that, yeah."

"So," he said softly, glaring, "When you look at guys like ME it's not so hard to see."

"Hey, dude," Sam said, getting between them, eyes wide. "No one said you looked gay or anything, Sebastian."

"I dunno, do I exude fagness, Abigail?"

She flinched, then glared. "Wow. Ever since you came out, you've been kind of an asshole, Sebastian," Abigail snapped. "I didn't mean you. I'm sorry. Don't be so sensitive okay?"

"How about you-" he began, fists clenching.

"Enough." Sam snapped, slapping a hand on his chest and pushing him back, keeping Abigail and her drum set behind him. Without looking at her he said, "Abigail, shut your word-hole. Sebastian? Go take a walk man. We can't practice music with all that pissed off going on, okay? Just. We're on your side buddy. Try and remember that."

"Fine," Sebastian snapped, crossing the room and slamming the door behind him. He pulled his hood up as he stepped outside and stalked towards the right, walking along the river. He'd go get his head clear in the southern forest where he wouldn't have to worry about people hearing him. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it in a smooth motion, shoving his fist back into hoodie.

Damn it.

Of all the shit towns in all the areas of Ferngill, how the hell did William wind up being in Pelican Town? It made no freaking sense. If he had never come here, then Sam would still be the only person who _knew_ and no one else. Abigail wouldn't be giving him looks like he'd grown another head. His stepfather would be ignoring him as was proper. He'd be playing music right now and not caring one bit about the potential for Joja to drive down in black vans and throw William's stupid face into the back.

He paced and smoked and paced and walked past Leah's house. Then he wandered past Marnie's ranch and finally, in an effort to avoid the weird woods past the big fallen log, found himself stumbling onto a path…onto William's property.

He froze when he realized it. Fuck, he did not mean to do that. He wasn't ready to see him. Wasn't even sure what he would say.

Still…it was a big farm. And if he cut straight up and through, he'd be able to get home no problem. He'd come through here tons of times when he and Sam were out camping. He could skirt the edge away from that house. No way would William be all the way back here. Yeah. He'd take the chance.

He put the cigarette out and stuck the butt in his pocket, let out the last of his therapeutic smoke and started up the way.

He'd gotten about 10 minutes into his hike when he heard the rhythmic pounding of axe against wood. He'd grown up with that steady 'chop chop chop' and knew it intimately. He froze and glanced around, looking for a good place to turn around. Nope. Nope. Abort.

He turned too quickly though and the hood on his jacket snarled onto a particularly overgrown tree. Sebastian jerked too hard, too fast and then tripped, falling ass first onto the ground. He tried to twist but only succeeded in getting his foot stuck underneath a rock that he'd rolled into his own way with his flailing.

The chopping stopped.

"Hello?"

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

Sebastian didn't answer, covering his mouth with his arm, trying to remain still. He closed his eyes, his heart pounding in his ears. Was he coming over here? He couldn't hear past the blood pounding through his head. He tried to slow his breathing. Still nothing. He listened harder but William wasn't chopping wood.

A cloud covered the sun and Sebastian let his arm fall, peeking.

Peeking right up into William's sweaty face.


	7. Chapter 7

Why did this keep happening to him?

Had what he'd done over in Gotoro just been too terrible to let stand?

Was this revenge for surviving when others hadn't?

Unsure of what fresh hell he was in for, William looked down, baffled, at Sebastian. Who was on his back, eyes wide and face flushed. On the ground of William's property. He'd gotten leg trapped like a proverbial rabbit underneath one of the many rocks that William had been spending hours trying to clear. William wondered if he was being punished for something.

"I take it trespassing is a pastime for you yokels out here," he said, squatting down over the rock. As he reached for it, Sebastian jerked and then gasped, panic on his face replaced with pain. William moved swiftly, shoving the bolder over, but it was too late. In Sebastian's spazzing, something had popped in the ankle.

" _Damn_ it, Sebastian!" William snapped, shoving the rock aside. Sebastian had already pulled himself against a tree, his face an open book to all the conflicted mess going on in his head. William remained still, eyes focused on him. Panic. Pain. Fear. All of it laid out like a novel.

"I didn't think I'd see _you_ ," he said weakly. He's bit his knee and was looking at his ankle, rubbing it.

William leaned back on his heels and ignore the way that particular word hand slapped him.

"It is my land dude. You're a bad gambler." He skimmed the man over then- noted the mussed hair, the dirt-stained clothes and muddy shoes, then rolled his eyes, crab-walking to crouch next to him. "Let me look at your ankle, you dumbass."

"Calling me names now?" Sebastian bit out, face red. He did, grudgingly, shift himself so that William could examine him.

"I have a few collected, yeah," William said, his fingers gentle as he rolled the jeans up. "Fuck, man, you gotta wear your pants so tight?"

Sebastian tossed his head, freeing his face from that long bang of hair that always seemed to fall over his left eye. "You weren't complaining about how tight my jeans were last month." Sebastian bit his lip after as if the words had shocked him. William raised a brow and smirked in spite of his irritation with himself. Their eyes met and for a heartbeat, William sensed it again, that energy that had attracted him to Sebastian in the first place. It was a heat that went from his chest to his groin, something primal and natural…but just as quickly as the feeling had kindled, Sebastian's face flinched into a pain spasm when William's fingers gently palpated the ankle.

"Yup. Your dumbass sprained it," he said, feeling the swelling already starting around the joint. He leaned back on his heels again and skimmed his eyes around the area. He'd cleared a path from the southern forest as best as possible but it was still going to be a bit of a trek to get them back to his house.

"Just let me catch my breath and I'll head home," Sebastian said, starting to get up. William crossed his arms and leaned back, a skeptical look on his face. He watched as Sebastian managed to put his weight on his good leg, started to rise, then lost his balance to fall back on his ass.

"Yeah, just checked with the court of Me and that shit isn't going to fly. Or," he cocked his head at the man. "In your case, walk. Stop being a girl about this and relax already." He knelt down and scooped Sebastian up.

"A girl!?" Sebastian groaned/gasped as William plucked him up like a weed.

"Yeah, a fucking girl, you asshole," William said back, adjusting his arm underneath Sebastian's knees. Sebastian was clutching his shoulders to keep his balance.

"That's sexist," Sebastian groaned as William began to march back towards his house. "And you're a maniac."

"Congratulations for reaching this level of the exciting new game 'William is a Fuckwad' Please insert 50 gold to continue to the excited DLC, 'Sticks and Stoners – a new beginning'."

Sebastian choked out a laugh and then the ridiculousness of the last hour seemed to crash into with full force. The disbelieving chuckle turned into a belly laugh. William rolled his eyes at the cackling young man in his arms but soldiered on when he got within sight of his house.

"Alright, alright, yuck it up Chucklefuck. I'm putting you down and I want you to stay still, okay? I'll be right back."

Sebastian nodded, wheezing and wiping his eyes. William gently put him down on the steps then dipped inside to grab his first aid kit.

He cursed his lack of a freezer for the first time. He'd been living off packs of MREs that he'd brought with him as a temporary fix because again, no kitchen here either. Pops had been a 'sleep here and eat at the pub' type of guy and the total disrepair of his house was not conducive to giving aid and comfort. He'd have to get Sebastian to the clinic. He was pretty sure the ankle wasn't broken but no reason not to get it checked out. He came back outside and raised an eyebrow. Sebastian had followed orders at least, sitting still on the steps with his foot stretched out in front of him. He also had just lit a cigarette. Interesting. The closeted country mouse had more hidden vices.

"Oh, uh," he said self-consciously looking over at William, "You mind?"

"Only if you don't share," William said, squatting down on the dirt. Sebastian nodded and pulled one out. William leaned forward and Sebastian lit it for him. There were inches away, and their eyes met as the cigarette was lit. The chemistry that had driven him nuts last time was trying to bubble up once more. Sebastian was a beautiful fucker, William admitted with a tinge of despair. His face, his slender neck with the masculine touches only added to his attraction. Sharp lines and skin that William _knew_ tasted like heaven. _He's hurt_ ,the responsible part of his brain injected. William broke it their gaze, closing his eyes as he inhaled, then because he was a thoughtful bastard, he redirected his exhale and clinched the stick in his mouth so he could get a better look at his ex-lover's stupidity.

He removed the shoe and sock – black because of course it was—and began to wrap an ace bandage around the joint, adding compression to the swelling. Sebastian leaned on his elbows, watching William work from underneath is bangs.

"Where did you learn how to do this?" Sebastian asked, biting down a wince as William began tightening his wrap.

"Army," he replied, focusing on the bandaging and not how soft the hairs were on Sebastian's legs. His logical side throat-kicked his horny animal side into the room that he'd been locked in when making decisions about Morris. He was going to be an adult about this, damn his dick. Satisfied that the bandage would work in the short term, he fit Sebastian's shoe back over the wrap.

"Alright Sebastian, we gotta get you to an x-ray. I don't think you broke—"

"Fuck no," he gasped, pulling the foot out of William's hand. "My sister works at the clinic."

Exasperated, William took the cigarette out of his mouth and ashed it to the side.

"Dude. Joint injuries aren't a joke. Lots of little bones and shit down there. Mess up your foot and don't handle it? You could be limping a long time."

"It was just a stupid fall. I'll go home and rest it and it'll be fine."

"Already told you, that shit ain't gonna fly."

"Fuck you, William. You think you can just bully people who don't do what you want? What, you going to hit me if I don't agree?"

William's brows furrowed. "The fuck you say?"

"You like to beat the fuck out of people! Or did you think I hadn't figured that out with all those scars on your fist?"

William looked down at his hand, at the old track scars from when he used to shove needles between his fingers for a high and choked on the smoke. He turned his head and coughed, standing up to better breathe. He let out a few breaths and contained himself. _Ignorant, backwoods dumbass_. He turned back and saw that Sebastian was trying to hobble up on his good foot. He got in front of him and with a gentle push, knocked him back on his butt.

"Ain't punch scars," he said softly, sitting next to him on the steps. Sebastian gave him a suspicious look. William stuck his shrinking cigarette between his teeth.

"Got these from my heroin habit." He held his hand out so Sebastian could get a better look at them. Sebastian's eyes, previously franticly searching for an exit, froze at the confession. William didn't meet his eyes, just stared off and examined the tree line. He'd been making progress on at least clearing what was around the house. There had been some plans inside grandpa's chest with some sketches, but the old man had never done more than piddle on the land, content with the vegetables that he'd been able to pull from the soil and to wander around in town, shooting the breeze with the different citizens of Pelican Town.

He closed his eyes when Sebastian picked up the hand, running his fingers over the marks between his knuckles.

"Heroin? You…you were an addict?"

William didn't pull his hand way. It felt too nice to have someone touch one of the worst parts of him with tenderness. He finished off the cigarette and rubbed it out on the porch, finally letting out the smoke and looked over at Sebastian's face. He expected pity. Instead, he got a tender gaze of compassion.

"Am an Addict. I've just been clean from heroin for 2 years. It's nothing to be impressed by," William said.

"It must have been hard. And I am impressed."

Two years, 4 months and 12 days. It was amazing how much positive attention a guy could get by just not fucking up his life.

"It's been a bit. Now. I'm not going to hit you." He met his eyes. "I don't hit the guys I want to fuck."

"Wanted to fuck," Sebastian corrected, letting go of his hand now. William didn't let the gaze drop and leaned forward, too tuned into that chemistry, that sizzle that he felt when Sebastian had stroked his hand.

"Want. Lie to yourself, Sebastian. Don't you dare lie to me."

Sebastian felt like he would drown in those blue eyes. He was always questioning his interactions with people. Always wondering if he'd say or do the wrong thing. Hell, he practically always did the wrong thing anyway. He was a social disaster who'd only made it this far in life by shielding himself with outgoing friends who were too used to his presence to question if it was actually necessary. And after today, who knew if he still had them.

Not with Will.

Because right now, he knew that he might as well go twist his other ankle if he was going to give up on the chance presented in front of him now.

He leaned forward and they kissed. It was electric and better than he remembered. Will groaned at the meeting of lips, and then his rough hand was on the back of Sebastian's neck, thumb brushing his cheek, deepening the kiss to include tongues. It was moving fast again, just like it had in Will's apartment last month. Too fast. Like a rollercoaster on shaking rails. Like his bike when he was feeling reckless on hairpin mountain turns. He wanted _more_. Sebastian moved his hands up and gripped William's shoulders, pressing himself against him, clinging for dear life.

Will's arm wrapped around him and Sebastian's heart pounded with the thrill of it. He pulled back to breathe and Will pressed his forehead against Sebastian's, panting.

"Let me stay here and see if it gets better," Sebastian whispered, his fingers rubbing the freshly shaved stubble on Will's skin. "I…"

Will was quiet, clearly weighing something. Sebastian decided that he owed him _something_ , especially as he figured the addict admission couldn't have been easy to say, no matter the bravado Will exuded every second he took in air.

"I was… really angry when I came down here." What kind of confession was that?

Will raised an eyebrow, waiting. Sebastian swallowed and dropped his gaze.

"I uh, have been living life here a certain kind of way, you know." He pressed on, talking quickly so he wouldn't lose the thread, "And…you're sort of like an earthquake to all that."

Will gave a soft chuckle, now smilling and Sebastian's heart began to meltt. Will the avenging angel? Mouthwatering. Will giving him a self-depreciating smile? Earthshattering.

"Yeah," Will muttered, looking to the side and then rubbing his nose, "I've been told something like that before." Sebastian shifted, careful of his hurt foot, as Will adjusted himself, letting him lean into Sebastian lean into his chest. Sebastian didn't consider his height short. He was above average actually; tall enough to reach things for Abigail and had never before had a complex about his size. But William was as big as any gridball player he'd encountered and as solid as rock.

"Anyway, I uh. I really didn't mean to just barge into your place. It's been abandoned for a while, you know? I've cut through old man Joe's land tons of times to go home. I wasn't thinking because I was all worked up about stuff." He glanced around. "Didn't expect you to have cleared this much of it actually."

"What were you mad about Sebastian?"

He rolled his eyes. Of course, Will would go straight to the heart of the matter.

"Give a guy a chance to explain, jeez Will."

"Oh," William said, and he flexed his arm a bit, holding Sebastian tighter for a second. "I'm Will now?"

Oh shit, when had that happened?

"I uh…"

"You were mad," Will said, waving him on, taking a drag on his cigarette. "Mad that I'd talked to you in front of people, hmm? Why? It wasn't like I came onto you. I didn't do anything wrong."

This wasn't coming out right, Sebastian realized. He ashed his smoke but didn't hit it, just held it, trying to get his thoughts together. He leaned back and to his surprise, Will let him, didn't even stop him from putting space between them. He told himself he was glad about that.

"No, I was mad because you punched Morris."

Will's eyebrows climbed.

"Damn," he said, impressed. "Word travels fast."

Sebastian grit his teeth. "No shit. That's what I mean. That's why I was mad."

"Mad that I punched that fucker in the gut? Don't waste the energy Sebastian. That guy had it coming."

"No! I mean, yeah, but no!"

Will jumped to his feet and threw his hands up. "Then why are you mad?" He shook his head and began to pace, waving his cigarette around. "I don't get you, Sebastian. You're a little trouble-chaser and yet the moment someone wants more of what you got to offer-"

"This TOWN-" Sebastian shouted over Will's rampage of words. He'd slammed his hands down on the old porch in time with his last word. Will's teeth clicked shut over what he was saying and he faced him, finally still. "-will look at EVERYTHING you do and never let you forget it. Ever." Did he get it? What he was agonizing over?

William put his fists on his hips, exasperated.

"Yeah well, Fuck Them, Sebastian."

"That is so easy for you to say," he snapped. William narrowed his eyes, and then leaned forward. The lunge shocked Sebastian and he leaned back, nearly on his back. William had his arms on either side of him, his body tense above him. He looked up into fierce pools of blue.

"I have seen too much of this world to waste one single fucking second of my life giving one drop of sweat to what it thinks about anything I do, Bastian."

Then they were kissing again and Sebastian groaned, tossing his cigarette to the side and arched as William's hands slipped under his hoody.

"But—"

"Tell me to stop," Will said, running his hands over Sebastian's chest. He groaned at the caress, closing his eyes in pleasure. That seemed, he thought foggily, like a really stupid thing to say.

"I mean it, Sebastian," Will groaned and Sebastian shivered as Will's hand began to caress him through his jeans. "Tell me to stop right now and I will. Tell me to back off." He squeezed him. "Because if you don't…"

Rationale. Logic. Reason. Something needed to come to his aid right now or…

"Call me Bastian again," he said and groaned louder when Will's hand squeezed him, rubbing him through his pants. Reckless. The whole thing was reckless and wild and totally unlike him. But that was the effect that being around Will. Careful bubble of distance and safety? Shattered. Cautious avoidance of any stimuli painful or uncomfortable? Ignored. Just like when he'd first met him, Sebastion chased after him, too entranced to stay away from the fire that would probably burn him.

Then Will's hands were under his shirt, and he was barechested on the porch, his knees nudged apart as Will kissed him, his thumbs rubbing down his hips. His kisses scorched a trail of need down his neck.

"I want to taste you," Will said, eyes half closed. Sebastian groaned and threw his head back, the wood underneath them creaking. Will loomed over him, blocking out the sun, which was high in the sky. This was insane. It was near noon and here he was on Will's front porch, sans shirt with a hardon that was doing its best to tent his skinny jeans. He swallowed and Will leaned over, kissing his ear.

"Let me suck that cock, Bastian. Let me make you feel good."

"Here?"

"Yes. Because I don't care who sees. Because it's my land and I can do whatever the hell I want on it."

He had to be going crazy, he thought fuzzily, but just like when he'd left the bar with him a month ago, his body reacted to Will's touch. And the suggestion was mind scrabbling. Sebastian was going crazy right along with him.

"Yes." He whispered. Will's mouth crossed his again and this time their tongues met. Will didn't give him a chance to change his mind and Sebastian sucked in air as Will pulled his jeans down to his knees. His ankle throbbed but not as much as his cock when Will freed it. He shivered and squeezed his eyes shut when Will began to massage it.

"Oh, my god…" he whimpered as Will gave it a lick. He looked down and his entire body throbbed when he saw the possessive look that Will gave him, his tongue on his dick as if it was his new favorite toy. Was this what they meant by 'topping from the bottom'? He couldn't remember where he'd heard that phrase, but it seemed accurate.

"How does it feel, Bastian?" Will asked, his fist pumping him between lick. "If you like it, you better let me know."

Sebastian groaned louder, his face flushing. A tiny, sane, kernel of his mind realized how this had to look to anyone walking back. Will was on his knees in the dirt, Sebastian stretched across the steps of the porch, his body on display like a damn XXX rated video ad. But before he could think too much, Will was sucking on the tip, his tongue doing amazing things. And then, then he was bobbing his head and Sebastian lost his ability to anything but scream.

It was fast; he'd never cum so fast in his memory. One minute he was trapped in the ecstasy of Will's mouth, the next he was choking out a warning and hot spurts of cum were splattering his stomach and Will's beard and Sebastian's thighs.

He shuddered and gasped, whimpered and then laid back, laying an arm over his eyes.

"Bastian," Will said, pulling him into his arms. "C'mere, babe." And then Will had him and everything was better. "Bastian, babe you're okay." He wrapped his arms around Wills' neck and kissed him again. "I've got you, boy. I've got you." The shaking subsided and Sebastian kissed him again, feeling everything stir again, not caring that he tasted like salt. Will groaned and kissed him back. Somehow Will had turned them and he was straddling Will's hips, his shoes and jeans and everything else across the porch.

"Will, take me inside, please."

Later, he decided after Will scooped him up and dragged them both inside his tiny cabin.  
Later, he thought, after they were both naked and when Will was kissing him again.  
Later, maybe, after he wasn't screaming into Will's pillows, his sweat mingling with his.  
Maybe after Will wasn't shuddering around him, whispering, "Bastian," over and over again, later he would remember why this had been a terrible fucking idea.


	8. Chapter 8

The heat was like being cooked from the outside in. Their hole was in the shade and the sun was going down, but within a few hours, they'd all be huddled together, waiting the long, freezing hours through this bullshit posting. Around them in the twilight darkness of the Gotoro jungle unfamiliar animals screamed and cried. His men were restless which meant he was lounging as if this were a picnic.

Staff Sergeant William Bauer was just as miserable as the rest of them but a commanding officer never looked anything but relaxed. His squad had been parked in this hole after reports of enemy movement on the border. The Gotoro detachments had shelled three Ferngill bases last month leading to over fifty of casualties. Intelligence had insisted that another attack was coming through This Pass damn it.

He and his men had spent a week humping their gear and mortars down here, to secure the border.

Nine other teams were stretched over the line of jungle insanity, as if the natives somehow were going to stopped by their small strategic placements. He didn't know. He wasn't a commissioned officer and wasn't paid enough to know.

The last 22 days had been as quiet as a silk whisper. There had been no further orders so here they were: Waiting for attack.

Four men played blackjack on one side of their hole. William's communication officer and second-in-command, Max, was smoking and reading a letter from his kid. The paper was faded where he'd folded and unfolded it; he had to have had it memorized by now. The rest of his men was catching sleep; they'd have the later watch and all wore masks over their eyes to keep out the dreary sun.

"This assignment is bullshit," Max muttered, closing the letter up and slipping it into his shirt. "Has command updated orders yet, Sarge?"

 _Are we there yet, Sarge?_ Like damn children on a roadtrip.

William ignored the question. Griping was the god given right of any solider and any officer that gave two shits about it was doomed to a life of misery. His boyfriend, a sarcastic medic back at base had teased him about being part rock when it came to caring about job-related discomfort.

" _I swear, Bauer," Cameron had said rubbing his shoulders, "You are a peach. You pretend to be soft but your heart is a hard as a fruit pit."_

"We keep to orders," William told Max, trying to remember exactly how Cameron's face had looked when he'd left him last month.

Max rolled his eyes then went back to cleaning his equipment. It was spotless and dry but there wasn't much else to do.

William's eyes skimmed the area, alert in body but mentally he was reliving moments with Cameron. Whatever info Intelligence had claimed, the land around them made no sense for a border crossing. Their position was defensible and unless the Gotoros knew how to tunnel underneath them- something that seemed impossible in the swampy jungle- they'd be seen. He figured the guys parked near the Mines were going to see the most of the action. They just had to hold out until Command got tired to waiting on them and needed them to come back. It was almost a month of field work so relief had to be coming soon. Then maybe, he could go somewhere _nice_ , show Cam a good time instead of frenzied hours between assignments.

One of the card playing men scowled and threw the cards on the table. Across him his buddy cackled, raking over the MRE issued candies into his helmet. William watched as the cursing player pulled out a cigarette pack and a match. They broke up their card game, and William got a crawling feeling in his gut as he watched the private light the match. He lit one, two and a third cigarette off the flame before it petered out.

Three on a match.

Bad luck that.

He'd no sooner had the thought when he saw a flicker of movement above him. He looked up to see a Gotoro assassin squad glaring down at them from an in-humanly high tree branch and heard an 'thump'.

"BOMB!"

But it wasn't enough time.

The explosion was the end of life as he knew it.

William had thought, as he burned in the hole with his men, that he'd have known _it_ was coming. Would have seen death and given her the finger as he went down, guns blazing.

After all, they'd been positioned to see it all, positioned to act at the first sign of movement, but he'd been wrong and hadn't seen shit. Corporal Justin's leg flew across his torso. Mud plopped around them and his face felt like it was on fire. He turned his head in time to the corporal's blank eyes staring back at him.

Everything hurt.

Everything was blurry.

He wanted to vomit.

When he was able to focus his ringing thoughts, their foxhole was blown into a crater. Their equipment, their belongings, all of it was on fire or shattered into peices. He pushed himself up to his elbows and his body screamed in agony, the first true encounter he'd ever had with pain.

William grit his teeth and then pushed through it. Max was trapped underneath a pile of rock and dirt and as if the hateful jungle had known how to make the world worse, it began to rain.

Max was trying to crawl out, his face muddy and screwed up in pain, his fingers digging into mud that just curled underneath his hands, giving him no purchase. William's internal gibbering idiot was drop kicked in a hole and that cold core of his willpower took over. Discipline and training stepping over the human side to ensure survival.

With a curse at moving his aching body, he leaned over, gripped Max by hands that clutched him pulling him inch by inch out of the mud pit. His body screamed. Max screamed louder. William's face screwed up in agony as he dug his heels into the mud, reclaiming his comrade. The rain was disorienting, mingling the shadows of the jungle with shadows of troop movements above him. He was probably breaking Max's fingers, but he wasn't going to let him go.

Around him some of his command was starting to get up. Some were still alive! There was a chance.

"RETREAT." William ordered, his Sergeant's voice shooting through his men like the finger of God, pushing them into action in this moment of absolute chaos.

"RETREAT. MOVE. MOVE. MOVE." There was no panic in the barked words and his boys stumbled and helped each other. William hauled up Max and tried to put him over his shoulder but there was something wrong with his collar bone. He hissed. Max's legs were limp and the communications officer moaned.

"Don't fucking check out, Liccandi," he snapped as he back out step by step out of their bombed out shelter.

"Yes sir," Max slurred, head lolling about on his neck. He was definitely concussed. Shit.

Just as they'd begun to retreat out of the hole, the rat-a-tat of gunfire began to pop off and as a unit they all hit the dirt.

"Stay with me, Max!" William yelled into the man's ear. Max a heavy sack of dead weight but William had gotten his feet to move, adrenaline pumping through him. He was going to get Max back to his kid. He was going to get his men back home.

If he wanted it hard enough, he wouldn't fail.

There was another thump behind him and with a shattering 'boom', the world went black.

Sebastian shifted in his sleep as Will groaned next to him. He was stretched out next to him in Will's too-small bed, naked and feeling… _glorious_. He glanced around and propped himself up on his elbows, and yawned. He must have napped after their tryst, he realized, his mind hazy. He smiled and covered his face for a moment, feeling absolutely stupid by how good he felt right now.

And William had wanted him to say no? He turned his head. Will's face was grim, his arms crossed in his sleep, small twitches on his cheeks and lips. He cocked his head and really _looked_ at him.

The last time they'd been like this, it had been dark and the next morning, Sebastian had been so freaked out and nervous he hadn't really explored Will's body.

Across his collarbone was a tattooed eagle in the colors of the Ferngill Republic's flag, talons clutching broken swords and cracked guns, all of them Gotoro make. His beak was bloody and in scrollwork underneath he could read, "This We'll Defend."

On his right shoulder was an artistically rendered peach, rotting with bugs crawling from it. It was grotesquely beautiful, as if the peach were bleeding out pink juice all the way to the core. Skulls on one side, nine of them, all with hideous smiles and army ranks and initials next to their names. He frowned and shifted, straightening his leg out. He experimentally wiggled his injured ankle. Only a twinge of pain. Yup, not too badly hurt.

Sebastian leaned forward and gripped Will's right shoulder, intending to wake him with a gentle shake when the man came out of the bed like a shot, eyes rolling like dice, face locked in a grimace of panic.

Sebastian jerked back, frightened by the sudden movement. Will's teeth were clenched and his nostrils flared. He looked wild eyed around the room for a moment, and then inhaled, calming himself with rhythmic breathing.

Sebastian swallowed then carefully waved a hand at him.

"Will?"

Will scrubbed his face with one hand and nodded at him, turning away and walked into the bathroom. Sebastian felt abandoned.

He pulled the sheets around himself, covering up some of the exposure. The sink was going in the bathroom and after a few seconds, it cut off. William came back in, face and beard dripping with water. Sebastian's stomach knotted. Had it been that bad?

"So." He said, unsure of what they were going to do from here.

Will's eyes were distant, as if they were someplace else. At Sebastian's words he squeezed them shut then refocused on him. Sebastian felt locked in place and Will's intensity made his heart race. His remained steady, as if he were trying to find purchase on shifting sands Then Will smirked, that familiar amusement that always seemed to shadow him, as if the whole world were a private joke that only he could enjoy. Like it was a mask he was pulling on.

"Hey yourself."

It took a few minutes to re-ground himself. He wasn't back there. He was here. He was on safe land, in his grandfather's cabin with Sebastian. Who, only a few hours ago, had become his Bastian. On the bed, his lover was looking forlorn, confused with the blankets wrapped around him like a shield. Guilt pricked him and he locked down his baggage. He could deal with it later.

 _Smooth move, shithead_ , William chided himself as he crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to Sebastian. He hadn't had a flashback that intense in a few years was all… not even when he'd been going through rehab. He wondered absently what had triggered it as he threw an arm around Sebastian's shoulders, pulling him back close.

"You okay?" Sebastian kept the blanket around him like a cape, hiding his pale skin and slender shoulders. Well, not that slender. William side-stepped the question and grinned, rubbing one of Sebastian's arms.

"You hiding these guns from me?" He squeezed the bicep, running his hand up his shoulder. He leaned forward and kissed the bare skin there. At the feel of his beard against his collarbone, Sebastian shivered but pulled away, sputtering.

"Guns? Please. If these are guns, you're carrying around tanks."

William tossed his head back, laughing. Sebastian blushed, and turned away, slipping out of his arms and experimentally put weight on his ankle. He wore his sheet like a toga. He tested the leg but even as his face grimaced, he said, "Sore, but holding me up."

He turned and stuck his tongue out at him. Then he gave a 'told-you-so' smirk. Confidence was a sexy look on his Bastian.

"Looks like I didn't need the doctor after all," he said, fishing his clothes off William's floor. William vaguely remembered rescuing Sebastian's clothes from the porch during a breather between their sexual explorations. William was still bare-ass naked, unconcerned by proprieties such as clothing. Just as Sebastian had reached his underwear William reached over and pulled on the sheet, making Sebastian pinwheel his arms as he fell back into the bed. William cackled as he rolled them both into a burrito in the narrow bed.

"I don't recall asking you to leave," he teased. Sebastian shifted, flushing and panting.

"Will," he whispered, blushing harder. How the man could blush after the things they'd been doing to one another, William wasn't sure he understood. He liked it though. He'd make him blush again if he could.

"What? Tired of me already?"

"It's not that. C'mon you big lug, let me up."

"Fine," William said, grumpy, loosening his grip. As if he'd been burned, Sebastian scrambled back out. William focused on Sebastian's injured foot but it held his weight without any visible pain. Sebastian coughed and William snapped his eyes back up to his face. Sebastian was hyper focused on getting dressed and wouldn't look at him.

"Look, about this…"

William's eyebrows raised. "About what?"

Sebastian waved between the two of them as he settled his shorts.

William raised an eyebrow when he didn't elaborate. "About fucking each other? About that Bastian?"

Sebastian's back tensed and glared over his shoulder.

"Do you have a secret ability to cheapen every conversation by being a crude as possible?"

"Not really a secret, Babe," William said, cocking his head, eyes roaming over Sebastian's body. "And I call a spade a spade."

"Fucking? That's all this was?" The muscles in Sebastian's neck were visible. His tone soft, like velvet over a dagger.

William straightened, instincts screaming that he was on fragile ground. His breathless lover was giving off the same calming body language as a pinless-grenade.

"Um. Yeah? I mean, don't get me wrong- it's really great fucking."

"So," Sebastian snapped, pulling on his jeans—such tight jeans, "That's it? We hook up and no strings?"

William relaxed, grinning. Was he afraid that William couldn't commit? Well he could nip that shit in the bud.

"I'm cool with strings."

Sebastian froze, the words clearly not what he was expecting.

William swung his legs out of the bed, getting frustrated. It was like trying to walk a minefield with no signs of the buried motherfuckers. He tried again, "Unless you don't want strings?"

"I didn't say that!" he snapped, putting his shirt on inside out and sitting on the bed to put his shoes on.

William sighed and declined to point it out. His greedy lover had gone from purring pet to angry hedgehog.

"Bastion, babe, you're not saying much of anything."

"I'm thinking okay! Just. I'm thinking."

Will shook his head and stood, figuring he might as well be dressed if they were going quarrel. "Okay. Okay. Look, I'm not trying to pick a fight."

"Aren't you though? You didn't even think about what it would mean to have strings."

"It would mean," William said, pulling on jeans and scanning his floor for his shirt, "What it means. We date. We hang out." He gave him a smoky look. "And we do more of what we did this afternoon." He reached over to rub Sebastian's shoulder. "Sounds great."

Sebastian was quick, side stepping. Yup, that ankle was working just fucking great.

"And what will the town say, huh?"

"That…wait, what?" William felt like he had whiplash.

"Exactly!" Sebastian said, pointing at him. "You don't know. They will churn us through the gossip mill."

"Dude, why do you care?" William scratched the back of his head, trying to follow the bizarre trail this beautiful man seemed intent on blazing.

"Because!" Sebastian cried, slapping the back of his hand into his palm, "Because in a place like this, everything is fodder. They're going to take one look at the two of us together and then we'll be the town freaks." He found his hoodie and jerked it over his head, but William could hear the rest of it. "The town emo hermit and the violent sasquatch. Makes me sick."

William felt like he'd been slapped. The blows just kept coming with this guy.

"So, you don't want anyone to know." Because he was ashamed.

Sebastian frowned and looked at the ground. "Basically."

It was all such petty bullshit. Hide who they were because of _appearances_. They were alive today. They were healthy and had the potential for something amazing and he wanted to hide because of fear. William shook his head, fists balling. This milkfaced moron had no idea what true fear was. Some small town neighbor's stupid opinions had no chance of changing their lives. And for a moment, mud was in his nose, screams in his ears. That was replaced by the blood pounding through his chest and head. He glared at Sebastian and with vitriol spit out, "Well, _fuck you then_."

Sebastian's head snapped up. William had smoothed his shirt down and was fishing his belt through the loops of his jeans but never let up his glare. He wanted Sebastian to see how mad he'd made him.

"What?"

William's movements were sharp and correct, belt straightened, sleeves rolled down and cuffed at his wrists. "You don't get to come over to my house, use me for a good roll then be ashamed of me right after."

Sebastian's face drained of color. "I never said that."

"You might as well have!" William shouted. "Because it would be SO BAD for them to know you're dating me?!"

Sebastian flinched. William opened and closed his fists, frustrated. How did they get from that frenzied intimacy this...distance?

"I should go."

"Yeah," William snapped, opening the door into the darkening world. "You really fucking should."

Sebastian pulled his hood up over his head and slinked out. William slammed the door shut. He stared at the house with its sparse décor and wrinkled bed. Sheets that were going to smell just like him and Sebastian. He stalked over reached over and ripped his mattress off the bed, scattering it and the bedding across the room. It shifted the bedframe and made a satisfying crash.

But it didn't make him feel any better.


	9. Chapter 9

was not running at full optimization.

His ankle was throbbing, sending sharp pain with every step.

The pain was good, he decided. It gave him something to interrupt the rolling chaotic spin of anguish/lust/anxiety/fury that was running through his brain. Nothing made sense.

 _I slept with him again_ was a prevalent thought. _It had been so good._ But that was chased and blocked by _He has no respect for our privacy_. Which was then written over by _He doesn't just shut up and LISTEN_ which was chased through once more by _I can't believe I did that._ Segmentation Fault. Brain logic centers crashing.

Each step was punctuated by a throb from his foot. Each inhale of air was blocked by jittery spasms his throat was making.

Crying. He was sucking in air, staring straight along the path home and crying like a stupid fucking kid.

He stood still for a moment and tried to calm down, rubbing his face. He was twenty-four fucking years old. He was a goddamned adult and he was running home, _crying_ , like it was elementary school again.

He stopped at the entrance to the old spa, blocked off from a rockslide week ago.

He shuddered as flickers of old mistakes tried to mingle with his current mess and turned away, standing behind a tree and holding himself. He laid his face on the rough bark and took in a breath.

He ordered himself to stop right now. He had to find the anger again, the anger that usually burned out any crying. Crying was a useless and futile activity that only let his enemies know when he was weak. It didn't make anything better.

Crying hadn't brought his dad back.

He shoved that unwelcome memory file right back to the recycle bin he'd buried it in and began to just focus on breathing. And pain.

Yes. He could focus on those two things and walk into his house like a normal, non-crying, non-homosexually active grown-up.

First step- straighten out what he was allowed to think about until he got home safe.

He could think about the fact that William was a naïve moron who thought that just because the world he'd been a part of didn't pay attention to his activities that he could apply the same rules everywhere else.

He could think about how quickly William had snapped to judgement when he'd tried to explain.

He could think about what a horny, stupid, bonehead he'd been to Not Say No. That thought was good. Self-directed hatred was familiar and comforting.

Sebastian inhaled and was rewarded with a full breath sans throat hitching. Excellent Progress.

Second step- lock down the thoughts he was marking as Forbidden.

He would NOT think or remember anything to do with how good they'd been together. His carefully won control slipped and he swallowed back a rebellious sob. Nope. And he wouldn't think of how William had called him _Bastian_. He wouldn't think about all the ways he'd felt cherished underneath him. And he refused to think about how safe and accepted he'd felt in those heavy arms.

Tears burned but Sebastian banished them, blotting up the excess moisture with his sleeve. Rubbing would make his face red and therefore noticeable. Another deep breath, lungs and diaphragm supplying oxygen, and then, he encrypted all those Forbidden thoughts in his mental hard drive. Accessible, but only if you knew the public key.

He waited a few more minutes until he was SURE if someone spoke to him that he could keep it together.

Third step- Sebastian moved his feet and finished his walk home. By the time he'd gotten through the door, he could smell food; Parsnip soup. His mom must have been cooking. He tried to make the turn towards his room, in absolutely no mood to socialize, but Maru caught sight of him from the lab and waved.

"Sebastian! Hey! You're home in time for dinner."

His head was scrambled. He was raw outside and in; not ideal company for anyone. Yet his mental exercises held. He counted backwards from pi.

Maru smiled, hope tinging her face. Maybe his self-control was working too well.

"Mom got me a cake to celebrate the acceptance letter."

Fuck. That was right. She'd gotten into that exclusive online college. He let out a breath and an Abigail sound bite flashed through his brain.

 _You've been such an asshole_.

It was a guilt trap, sprung right at the worst possible time. Could he make it? Could he do one non-fucked up thing today?

"Sure. Yeah." He held onto his brave face. "Dinner. C'mon."

Maru looked surprised then grinned, her nose wrinkling around her glasses. His sister had his mom's smile, all wide and contagious. Too bad her dad sucked.

"Great!" She gushed. "C'mon!" She turned towards the kitchen, calling, "Dad! Set another plate! Sebastian just got home."

Sebastian let her get her distance. He grit his teeth and let out the breath through his nose. Nope. William wasn't going to win tonight. He was not going to let the events of this afternoon, as fucked as they were, chase him downstairs. Not yet.

He focused on strong and even steps. Maru was a medical assistant and would have spotted any strange limp in his gait. He'd do dinner for 30 minutes then retreat. The family would be satisfied and he'd have bought himself days of good will to get back into his own routine.

His mom beamed at him, red hair frizzy from the spring humidity.

"Welcome home, Sebby," she said, her eyes shining. "We're really glad you got home so soon! How are Sam and Abigail?"

"Yeah, didn't you have band practice today?" Demetrius offered, putting a plate down in front of him. Sebastian nodded and began passing food around as everyone settled.

"Yup. Went fine. How was work Maru?"

Her eyes widened as if remembering something interesting.

"Oh, I'm glad you asked! We had Morris in the office today. Broken nose and cracked rib."

His mom gasped and Sebastian felt ice run down his neck. His precious mental blocks buckled then held.

Fuck. In the tumult of his own love life, he'd completely forgotten that of course Maru would have seen the results of William's temper. The ice solidified into the pit of his stomach, souring the first bite of soup.

"Oh my goodness," his mom said, concern lacing her voice as she spooned parsnip chunks into her bowl. "What in the world happened?"

Maru grinned, excited to be the center of attention.

"Well," She said, her voice dropping a bit to a conspiratorial level. "According to Morris, Pierre hired that farmer guy to come beat him up."

His mom and Demetrius exchanged a look across the table and then both, as if reading the same script, glanced over at Sebastian. The broth in his throat stuck and nearly choked him. He kept his face neutral, like a mask of indifference.

"What?"

"Didn't he talk to you last night at the bar?" she asked, brows knit. "Sebastian, did that guy threaten you?"

"You talked to him?" Maru interrupted, excited. "Oh my gosh, is he as big as everyone says he is? I heard he has a beard longer than that homeless guy's."

Sebastian's stomach gave a warning roll at the sudden 3rd degree line of questioning. The parsnips tasted like chalk and he wondered if his ankle could handle it if he rushed from the table to go lock himself downstairs.

"Ladies," Demetrius chided. "He's got his mouth full, goodness."

Maru looked sheepish then took a big bite of her bread and soup. His mom was still locked onto him though. Had to be her weird mom sense telling that there was something up. His mind whirled furiously. Finally he swallowed and gave the best excuse he could think of.

"Um, he smelled like fertilizer was all. That's why I left so quickly."

Maru let out a laugh and immediately, Sebastian's ears burned with the lie.

His mom rolled her eyes. "Oh dear, he's a farmer. Of course he smelled like..." She hesitated, unwilling to say 'shit'. "Well, like Manure. It makes the plants grow after all." She shook her head and went back to her dinner. "Old man Joe lived like a bachelor over at that farm. That house is ancient and the walls? The bathroom must be over 20 years old and don't even get me started on the piping situation that far out. If it weren't for the springs, I don't know how we'd even get running water up there."

Demetrius, damn it, didn't look like he bought the story, but after a moment of heart-stopping scrutiny, shrugged and let it go.

"Well. So you're sure Maru? You're sure it was William who broke Morris's nose?"

"Oh, definitely," she said. "Penny and I were hanging out after work and according to Vincent, Abigail had a video of the whole thing."

"Goodness. Video proof? Do you think someone should go tell the Mayor?" His mom asked, her spoon frozen. Sebastian's heart stopped at the question.

"Won't do any good, Robin," Demetrius said with a scoff. "Lewis and Joseph Bauer were close. No way has he hit his grandson with the law."

The cardiac muscle resumed beating and Sebastian took another nauseating bite of his dinner.

"Well," Maru said, "I'm going to be avoiding him, that's for sure. Just attacking people because they are passing out coupons? A little dangerous."

He should say something, he thought as he stirred his spoon through is soup. He should tell them that they were wrong. He should say that that while, rough around the edges, Will wasn't like that. He even opened his mouth, inhaled and then closed it, a wave of nausea hitting even harder. His mouth, previously dry, began to fill with that awful too-wet feeling, the sign that this was actually not a drill.

"Good plan, sweetheart." Demetrius said. Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed.

"I'm full." Sebastian muttered, standing.

They all looked surprised.

"But Sebby, you hardly touched your dinner."

His stomach cramped, as if it wanted to prove that he had indeed eaten.

"Nah mom, it was great." And then he had to go because otherwise he was going to make a huge scene and he didn't want that.

Sheer force of will got him downstairs and into his bathroom before he made a mess on everything. He heaved and shook, all the emotions he'd repressed earlier surged up, as if by rejecting his dinner, he would somehow be able to process the feelings too.

He kicked his bathroom door shut and heaved and sobbed. Will's face, previously banished to the Forbidden Zone, was etched behind his eyes.

 _Get the fuck out._

Will had been furious and hurt when he said that.

Sebastian had done that; had fucked up the first person he'd ever had _that_ sort of connection with. He felt empty and shuddery- and his ankle helpfully throbbed in reminder of how many bad decisions he'd made, all in one day. He was a fucking overachiever of fuck ups.

After what felt like 100 years, he got up and then turned off all the lights in his room. He fell into bed fully clothed and completely soaked in misery.


	10. Chapter 10

It was an unfortunate side-effect of William's lofty sobriety goals that there was no beer, no wine, and no liquor in his house. William had grimly dug through all the boxes in the storage shed and come up empty. Mantras from his last 12 step program echoed through his head, _"I am powerless over Heroin and my life has become unmanageable."_

Well. He wasn't trying to find heroin, now was he?

Still, he was fucking powerless to make any decent human connections based on shared intimacy because apparently he was an embarrassment. Not just an embarrassment, but a _sickening_ embarrassment. Sebastian was probably at home throwing up out of William-induced-mortification.

He kicked another empty box, furious with himself.

This was probably his fault. He'd gone too hard. Too fast. Too intense. He should have taken it slow. He shouldn't have jumped Sebastian's bones like he was a pogo stick. He was such an utter fuck up.

He paced, claustrophobic in the storage room. He stomped outside into the dark farm and started walking.

There was a pond not far away. He could just walk straight there and step in. He'd only been here a week and no one would go looking for him. No one would give a shit. His parents would just…

 _Have to bury their only son_.

He slowed and let out a breath.

"Joba grant me the serenity," he murmured, slowing and focusing. "To accept the things I cannot change."

This was utter bullshit. To be this messed up over a guy. To be an utter pansy ass over having his dick wet. He'd had plenty of one night stands turn into repeat affairs that hadn't left him feeling like a carcass of a man.

 _Call me Bastion again…_

He groaned, wishing he could get a drill and remove Sebastian's voice from his ears. He kept walking, eyes on the trees. So maybe, just maybe, he'd try and live another day. But he wasn't ready to go back to his house and face the bed he'd stupidly made love to Sebastian in.

And it had been making love. One sided, frenzied, reckless love.

Step 4 of the 12 Steps. _Make a searching and fearless moral inventory._ Or, in his own words, don't lie to yourself about your actions, Fuckwit.

And the truth was, he'd known what he was doing. He'd thought, for some reason, that Sebastian had known too. That maybe he'd realized their connection, their weird mutual hard-ons were not normal. Most guys…it felt like a hygienic function. Go forth young gay and suck dick. Move on with your day after you have both scratched your itch.

But Sebastian wasn't like the other lays. He didn't wipe himself clean and slap William on the back like they'd just completed a competitive grid ball game. Instead, he'd clung and whimpered, like he'd fall apart without it.

At least, that's how it felt.

He stopped when he got down to the southern pond, right at the top of the dock. Someone else was sitting at the edge, feet dangling. William frowned, not really wanting to socialize, but he heard the magical sound of a beer tab.

His sponsors hadn't believed him when he'd said he wasn't an alcoholic. An addict is an addict, no matter their substance. But William was pragmatic. A drunken hour or two had nowhere near the life-destroying habits that his opioid use had damaged him with. He decided to try and make a new buddy. If nothing else, there would be no beer and he'd go home.

"Who's there?"

He waved a hand, stepping closer.

"Hey man, it's William. I live up at the farm now."

The man turned his head and William thought that he'd seen him at the bar the other day, nursing a cold one in the corner. They regarded each other.

"You look like shit, dude."

"And you look like dogfuck."

They stared at one another, neither of them changing facial expression until William gave a snort-laugh. Then Shane couldn't hold it in and started laughing too. He waved him to have a seat. "Okay, fine. Public dock. You want one?"

"More than anything. Thanks."

William caught the can of Blue Ribbon Jojabrew and copped a squat next to Mr. Dogfuck. They didn't meet eyes, just gazed at the lake. William didn't bother breaking the silence, his mind too busy chewing over all the ways he'd fucked things up with Sebastian. He kept rolling back to initiating sex. He shouldn't have tried to get intimate again. Getting dicks involved had been the source of all the anger. All the messed up feelings. If he could have done it over, he'd have thrown the emo little twink over his shoulder and dropped him off at the clinic, whether he'd wanted him to or not.

"Bad day." His drinking buddy said into the silence. William grunted. His buddy nodded, drinking again.

"You?" William asked.

"Just another day of being a fuck up."

William reached over and tapped his can to the man's. "I'll drink to that."

They drank and stared at the sky together. Finally, they were both holding empties and with a toss, Shane threw his can out into the pond. It splashed at least 6 feet away.

"Bet you that next beer I can throw it harder," William offered. His buddy smirked then nodded his head out. William squinted. "I'll make it to that log."

"The fuck you will."

"Bet me."

"Okay, if you win, I buy the next 6 pack. If you lose, you do."

"Fair a deal as I've ever heard."

William aimed, narrowed his eyes, reared his arm back and threw.

He missed by four feet. They both broke out laughing at the clumsy toss. His drinking buddy was guffawing at the failure so hard, he started to lean over the side of the dock. William snatched the man's hoodie to keep him from falling into the pond with a quick pinch pulled him upright. The stopped laughing for a minute and stared at each other, wide-eyed at the close call. Then burst into chortles again.

After a few minutes, Shane wiped his eyes nodded. "You're alright, Farmer dude."

William turned and offered his hand. "William."

The man hesitated then shrugged, shaking back. "Shane. Town fuck-up."

"I don't know man, I might be fighting you for that title." William popped two beers off the six-pack ring that was sitting next to him and offered one to Shane. They popped them together then went back to stoic, manly silence.

Half way through his beer, Shane let out a breath.

"My job sucks."

"Yeah?" William leaned back on his elbow, feet dangling from the dock. "Where you stuck at, bro?"

"Fucking Joja Mart. Hate that place."

"So quit."

Shane shook his head, leaning forward, his elbow on his knees. "Can't. Gotta take care of my goddaughter. Her dad and mom…they're gone, so poor kid just has me." Shane let out a belch that William rewarded with a slow clap.

Shane play-punched him in the shoulder and William grinned at him.

They drank some more.

"Fucking rough roll of the dice, dude."

Shane nodded, and finished his beer. "Feel bad for her man. She's the one dealing with my fucked up ass."

"Yeah? Well. At least she's got someone. Better than having no one, even if all she's got is you."

Shane didn't argue with him but he didn't agree either. William sucked more cheap beer down until he began to get the beginnings of a buzz. Emboldened by his liquid champion, he decided to share. It was only sportsmanlike.

"I keep trying to stick my dick in crazy. So you know, nothing as bad."

Shane choked on his beer and laughed. William turned his head and grinned with him. _It's all just a joke. William doesn't take anything seriously guys. It's all hilarious, really._

"Dude, where did you even come from?"

"Zuzu City. Land of fake everything."

Shane grinned then looked back up at the sky. In a musing tone he said, "at least stuff happens there."

"If by stuff you mean useless shit, then sure." Now it was William's turn to belch. "It's a happening place."

More silence. More empties. More thrown cans. Two more popped tops and they toasted again. Finally, half way through the last of the cans, Shane said, "You know, tomorrow is a new day n' shit. New mistakes and all."

"Yeah? Thanks. Same to you."

Shane nodded, eyes off on the distance. "And maybe it won't suck so bad."

William grunted and they both sipped out the beers, both thinking their own thoughts in the springtime night. Finally, he crumpled his empty can and skipped it like a stone out on the lake. Shane raised an eyebrow, then skipped his for six hops longer.

"Show off."

"City-slicker."

William shook his head, stretched, and clapped Shane on the back.

"Next round is on me, man."

Shane got up too, letting William haul him up. "Good, cuz, you drank half my beer."

William grinned at him. "Like I said. Givin' you a run for your money for that badge of Town Fuck-Up. Gimme time to catch up."

Shane nodded and shook head. "Keep sticking your dick in weird places and you'll get it."

William cackled and they walked off the dock together, not touching, not doing more than just nodding to one another as William went north to the farm.

He was pleasantly drunk. All the sharp edges that had cut so deep had fuzzed out enough that he could get his mind around them.

He walked through the woods and into the house. He waited as Ingrid trotted inside in front of him, already the fuzzy queen of his farm. He turned on the light and sighed.

His mattress, pillows and bed frame were akimbo. He'd knocked over a table but somehow his tv was, miraculously, not broken. He made unsteady progress cleaning up the chaos but eventually managed to get the furniture straightened out. TV back on Table. Bed back in corner. Mattress off of floor.

He left the sheets bunched underneath the table. Ingrid, not bothered by the mingled smell of Sebastian and William, purred as she curled up into the pile.

William collapsed on the bare mattress and put an arm over his eyes, too tired to shut off the light.

Tomorrow was a new day, huh?

Looked like he was going to see it after all.


	11. Chapter 11

Sebastian woke up on Sunday feeling like he'd been hit by a truck. His head throbbed and his mouth tasted like ass. Dehydration, his logical mind pointed out. Exhaustion. How long had he slept?

He sat up, fished his phone out from his jeans, and scowled. His phone was dead. He plugged it in and got up. Then nearly hit the floor when his ankle Noped right the hell out, weak underneath the strain of his weight. He sat down and groaned, then shoved himself onto his good food, balanced and limped to his bathroom.

An ugly asshole stared back at him. He avoided contact with his own eyes and turned on the sink. He didn't need to see the proof of how bad his night had been. Visuals only overloaded what the body was telling him.

He didn't have to see that he had red eyes and a pale face. He could feel that his hair was greasy and it hung in strings over his eyes. Forget hit by a truck. It felt like he'd stepped in front of the city bus.

 _Probably deserve to be run over,_ he thought.

He brushed his teeth, rinsed his mouth, washed his face and went back into his bedroom, turning on a light. His phone was blinking on the otherside of the room, finally juiced enough to come on.

On the screen Sam and Abby made a stupid pose while holding wooden swords. It was from a gaming convention they'd gone to last year; Abby was cosplaying her Solorian character, complete with healer's robes and a staff his mom had helped her carve. Over their faces were alerts dinging him through the messaging apps.

Sam.  
Abby.  
Sam.  
Sam.  
Abby.  
Sam. Sam. Sam. He rolled his eyes and opened the messaging app.

He skimmed through the text wall then just hit, "see most recent message". It was a diatribe from Sam on how he never answered his texts. He hobbled over to his chair and sat heavily onto the stool. He ran his thumbs over the screen then hit send.

"You awake?"

No response. He waited another second, then put it down to turn on his computer. Just as his moniter showed the boot screen, his phone dinged.

"Where the hell were you last night? We called and you never picked up."

He rubbed his face, then resolutely texted back.

"I'm in trouble dude. Had a bad time last night."

He looked down at his foot and tried to think of how he could pass off the swelling.

 _Joint injuries aren't a joke._

It wasn't fair for Will to be right about this, he thought, scowling. Then his phone buzzed again.

"I'm on my way over."

Sebastian swallowed, feeling like shit all over again. It was so sad that Sam had been tricked into being his friend because quite honestly, he didn't feel like he deserved it.

Sunday morning came and William was still breathing. His routine was normal; get up. Water plants. Chop wood and break up more of the rocks. Sweep up debris. It was only during this activity that he froze, his time with Sebastian crashing into his imposed responsibilities.

There was a pinched cigarette butt on his porch. He stared at the offensive reminder of Sebastian's lips. This was what he got for shitting where he ate.

He swept the butt up and threw it away. Then he headed into town.

The forest was a giving and generous host and he cleaned up a good deal of valuable herbs he'd seen Pierre looking for. The store itself was a bit quiet when he walked in, which, based on his mood, was probably for the best.

"Morning Pierre," he called, laying out the day's bounty onto the counter. Pierre pulled out his scales and calculator.

"Bill! Good to see you. How's it going on the farm?"

He shrugged and crossed his arms, leaning against the counter. The bell tinkled and he turned to see a woman and little boy stepping in, both dressed nicer than he expected to see for shopping. Pierre waved at them.

"Morning Jodi, Vincent. Caroline is already got the chapel open."

William glanced back over at Pierre.

"Chapel?"

Pierre blinked. "Of course. To Yoba. Nothing fancy. But we have services on Sundays."

William nodded slowly. "Yeah, sounds like a good thing. Real peaceful." He turned his head. "It's that way?"

Pierre nodded, "Sure is. Jodi comes every week. Praying for her husband, Kent, I suspect."

"Something wrong with him?" William shifted his gaze but Jodi and her son were already out of earshot.

"Just that he's at war. I think he'll be coming home next year, but for now she comes every week."

Damned personal information Pierre was giving out, William thought as he accepted the gold for his produce. William took stock of himself as he pocketed the coins. His shirt needed a scrub and he probably smelled like woodchips and sweat, but he was still curious to see what sort of services the small village offered.

Step 1 of the 12 steps had been to acknowledge a higher force. Might as well go show his face. It couldn't hurt and he definitely needed the peace.

There was soft music playing when he stepped in. Vincent, the little boy was sitting next to his mom at a pew, hands folded. His heart flipped when he saw it and for a moment, he felt like he was intruding in a private moment. Still, it was beautiful to see a family sending prayers for their soldier's safe return. He had thought of his own parents with head bowed in desperate hope for his return. He moved quietly and sat in the back, looking up at the shrine. He tried to iron his thoughts into a semblance of order.

What couldn't he change?

He couldn't change Sebastian that was for damn sure. Thinking about what had happened yesterday hurt. Not just because of their fight. Not because he'd lost his temper. Not even Sebastian being ashamed of him. It hurt because _before_ had been perfect.

But he couldn't change Sebastian. So he had to accept it. Accept that what William wanted – to be out and public and live his life without secrets- was not what Sebastian wanted.

 _Yoba give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change._

But what could he change?

He looked around the room and saw that the boy had crawled into his mom's lap, his little arms around her neck. His throat closed and his arm burned. His arm where he had inked in memorials to the nine other men who didn't make it out of his mission. Max had a kid too. Would have been around the boy's age. He was shamed to be the commander and be the one who survived. He closed his eyes and the words of his sponsors rang in his ears.

 _Not your fault._

Didn't matter though. They were still dead and he was still alive.

But that was unchangeable too.

All at once, the colors seemed to bleed out of the shrine around him. William leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. Black and white and grey bleeding out all the golden browns and warm reds of the room. He was alive and for what? How had he earned the right?

It had been 7 months since he'd been to a meeting. Maybe it was time to find one again. Because lately, he was starting to lose it. He closed his eyes tight against the crowding darkness. He had thought starting over in Pelican Town was the answer, but was it? He was living along, disgusted the man he wanted to be with, and hadn't even finished clearing Pop's lands.

He inhaled and his brain reached out for anything that could remind him of good things…for a lifeline against the sea of grey.

"Excuse me, but are you Farmer Bill?"

He blinked and looked up to see that Jodi was standing next to him, the boy shy behind her knee. For a moment she was covered in that dripping grey, that hateful haze. Then he could see her hair was red. His heartrate slowed and he nodded. He rubbed a sweating palm on his leg before standing, holding his hand out.

"Yes, um. William. Nice to meet you."

She shook his hand and smiled. Her fingers were soft. "Jodi. Hi! I'm, Sam and Vincent's mom."

Sam? That had been the blond man that Sebastian had been playing pool with the other day. He nodded. "Ah yeah. Sam is friends with—"

"Abigail and Sebastian, haha, yes." She smiled brightly at him. "Listen, I hope this isn't presumptuous, but… do you have any cauliflowers growing yet?" The change of subject brought more color in to the room. He locked on it, the lifeline.

"Yeah, they're planted. Won't be ready for a couple of more days though."

She clasped her hands in front of her. "I wanted to offer a trade."

He smiled now, fascinated to find out exactly how this would go. With every word the woman was unknowingly saving him from that despair. Something he could do for the family of a brother-in-arms? Sign him up.

"Okay, I'm listening."

"I don't think that Old Man Joe had a washer and dryer at his place. And I would love to get some farm fresh produce. If you'll bring me a box of things once a week, I'll do your laundry for you."

William flushed and rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling grubby in front of the lady. He must have looked pretty rough for her to offer.

"Um, yeah actually," he said, smiling, "I've just been doing sink scrubbing. A washing would be handy."

She beamed. "Then it's settled. Come over with those cauliflowers on Tuesday and I'll do all your laundry."

"Jodi, it would be much appreciated ma'am." She gave him a wave then nudged her boy, leaving him alone in front of the shrine.

He looked at the symbol and chuckled.

"Alright, alright. So." He said, hands at his side. "Maybe there is a reason to stick around." He saluted the symbol then headed home.

Sebastian tensed when he heard footsteps pound down to his basement.

Sam poked his head in and glanced around before closing the door behind him.

"Well?" he asked, arms crossed.

"It's my fucking ankle," Sebastian groused, rolling over on his chair, sticking out the swollen foot.

Sam's eyebrows climbed to his hairline.

"Well, shit dude! You fucked yourself up good." He narrowed his eyes, looking him over. "But that doesn't explain the hickey on your neck. Or why your shirt is inside out."

Sebastian looked down, alarmed. Sure enough, he was right. He groaned and pulled on his hair, doubling over. His face was now the same shade as a tomato.

"So!" Sam said, popping a squat down on Sebastian's bed. "Based on the lack of gossip surrounding William leaving your house last night, I'm assuming you went over THERE and hooked up?"

"Something like that," Sebastian said into his knees.

Sam was patient. He'd always patient.

"I'm surprised that you came, to be honest," Sebastian finally muttered. "I've been… difficult."

"You've been a fuckwit." Sam corrected. "But in light of our long friendship, I can forgive it." He waved a hand. "Start from the beginning."

So, despite his internal agony and external leg pain he told him the whole sordid tale.

He had to stop and wait for Sam to collect himself from laughing on the ground when he told him about getting caught in the underbrush of William's property. He sobered up as Sebastian glossed over all the things he and William had done to each other and was downright grim as Sebastian repeated the argument with a robotic tone. When he was done he waited. Sam blew his bangs out of his eyes and then looked down at Sebastian's swollen joint.

"You walked all the way home on it?"

"It didn't hurt until I got halfway home!" He said defensively. "And now? Ugh. Everything is all fucked up."

Sam shook his head and went upstairs. When he came back downstairs, he tossed some frozen peas at him. Sebastian took them then wrapped them around his leg, feeling some relief.

"Here's the deal. You need to decide what's important."

"It's not that-"

"Oh no, I listened." Sam interrupted, crossing his arms. "Dude. Your turn. Let's prioritize."

Sebastian sulked but didn't argue.

"First, are you still mad that he talked to you in front of the whole town?"

Sebastan blinked. "I… I guess not. I mean…it seems sort of silly now that everything else has gone down."

"Good deal." Sam paced, ticking off another finger. "Are you ready to bury the hatchet with Abigail?"

He waved a hand. "That stuff isn't important either."

Sam faced him, his face hard. "Well I hate to break it to you Brohemian Rhapsody, but is IS important."

Sebastian threw his hands up. "She was mad. I was mad. We both said things we didn't mean. It's done. It's over."

Sam shook his head. "Not to her, man. She was really torn up when you left. She's been staying in her room pouting, just about like you. After all, it's not like we ever told her about your um… tastes."

"That I'm a big gay loser," Sebastian muttered, glaring at the floor.

"Knock that shit off," Sam said, waving a hand. "Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I know is because—"

Panic ripped through Sebastian and he blurted, "The VAULT, Sam. We put it in the VAULT."

Sam threw his hands up. "I WAS THERE. IT'S JUST US. We're going to talk about it man."

Sebastian covered his face with a groan. Sam sat down on his bed and reached over, pulling the chair closer.

"You kissed me," he said gently. "I never forgot dude."

Sebastian idly wondered if he could just die right here on the spot.

"I apologized," he mumbled, pressing his palms against his eyes.

Sam rolled his eyes. "It was over five years ago, Seb. I'm not like, mad. I'm over the weirdness. But we should have told Abby."

"Why!" Sebastian cried, throwing his hands up. "Why do we have to talk to everyone about every little embarrassing, terrible mistake we make!"

"Because," he said, "she's our friend. We lied to her-"

"I," Sebastian interjected, "lied to her."

"WE," Sam disagreed, "lied to her. I went along with it man. And whenever you wanted your dirty little hookups, I'd hang out with her while you did who knows what under the bleachers. Lying."

"It wasn't- they were never like- I just don't get why it's anyone's business."

"Because, you big idiot," Sam growled. "People care about you. They want you to be happy."

Sebastian snorted, "Are they also waiting for Santa?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Are you done being a drama queen?"

"That's homophobic."

"I'm getting homicidal so like, take your pick which kind of discrimination you wanna deal with buddy."

Sebastian blew his hair out of his face.

"Fine. Agreed. Whatever. Talk to Abigail."

Sam nodded then ticked his next finger.

"Third."

"Wait, there's more?"

"For someone so good at equations, you're sure shitting at keeping count of all the people you've pissed off."

Sebastian scowled.

"Third," Sam said, nodding down at his leg. "We go get your ankle fixed up."

"And say what?"

"We blame it on me. I hit you in the leg with my skateboard. I wiped out on grass but it pitched your hard." He imitated his mom, " 'Damn it, Sam! Always doing dangerous tricks.'" He gave him a sheepish grin then in a mocking voice said, "Sebastian, I'm such a poor influence. Dunno why you hang out with my ass."

Relieved to have an excuse, a believable and valid one, eased a cramp he had.

"Cool." Sebastian said, "now are we done?"

"Well, just one more issue. What are you going to do about William?"

"Oh, that one is easy," Sebastian said gloomily. "I'm just going to avoid him at all costs and pretend to be a tree every time I see him."

Sam slapped himself on the forehead but Sebastian was done, too exhausted by the prospect to even consider doing more. Sam stared at him and Sebastian returned the look, feeling his lips tighten. He'd fight him over this, no matter what he wanted. Sam sensed it, shook his head then shrugged.

"You know what? Three out of four ain't bad. C'mon. Let's get you to Harvey's and see about getting an X-ray."

Grumbling, Sebastian finally agreed.

"Thanks man."

Sam hesitated then squeezed his shoulder. "I've got your back, Seb. Always."

Yup. Definitely a shame to have tricked Sam into being his best friend.


	12. Chapter 12

It was easy to avoid someone if you always stayed home. And while William didn't consider himself the type of person who ran away from problems, he was pretty good at hiding from them for a while. If he'd been anti-social with his neighbors? Well, the work on his land was abundant and since he was intent on clearing out the trees and stone, he could make excuses for a lack of time.

Still, the way he'd been pushing himself had begun to make his body hurt more and more. The effort of daily chopping had pulled on his shoulders and back. His arms, always decently muscled from his workouts, were harder and thicker than he remembered. It was making his shirts too tight around the sleeves.

Despite the twinges of pain flaring up, he had managed to push himself, daily, to the limits his body could take. It made sleep easy. He even managed not to think about Sebastian during a few seconds here and there.

The only exception to his toils was when his cauliflowers finally matured on Tuesday. He gathered up the veg, waved goodbye to Ingrid, who didn't seem to care at all, and went to Jodi's place, dirty laundry in tow.

It was a gift from the god of all things perverse to nearly walk right into Sam as he came through the Jodi's front door. William leaned back, both baskets in his arms and reveled in the shock on his face. Stutter-step, wide eyes…yeah the man hadn't expected his mug to show up on his door.

"Mom? Um," he looked William over. "Farmer Wil—"

"Bill!" Jodi said, coming out of the kitchen while drying her hands. "I am so glad! Did you bring them?"

William nodded. "Yes Ma'am, Mrs. Jodi. Picked them this morning. Thought I'd let you get first crack before I went by Pierre's."

Sam was watching him warily, his arms crossed.

"Good! Sam, stop standing around, get that basket and bring it to the laundry room. Bill, do you have time for a cup of coffee?"

"Why," he said, making eye contact with Sam, "That would be fantastic."

Sam squinted at him then looked at the dirty laundry. He raised an eyebrow before looking back over to Will. Finally, as if it held toxic waste, he held it in front of him, walking gingerly to the back.

"Careful not to drop it." William said mildly. "Wouldn't want my dirty laundry all over your mom's floor."

Sam hesitated, shook his head in bafflement, and slipped out. The interaction was lost on Jodi.

William wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved that Sam left after that. It was probably for the best.

"Oh, I'm sure he's off to Sebastian or Abigail's house," Jodi said, weighing cauliflowers in her hands.

"I take it they're close?" William leaned back in his chair, eyes skimming the kitchen. It was a fact universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a good husband was in want of a Gay Best Friend. He just needed Jodi to recognize his potential.

"Oh lord, yes." She said setting a few heads to the side. "Since elementary school at least. Ever since he and Robin moved to town." She cocked her head to the side. "Considering Sam knocked poor Seb down with his skateboard the other day, I'm sure he's going over to see him, actually."

"Oh?" Knocked Sebastian down?

Jody had put the cauliflowers to the side and nodded. "Yup. Those boys, I swear."

William's mind flashed back to the ankle-incident. So Sebastian had needed to go to the clinic after all. Stubborn ass. "He doing okay?"

She waved hand laughing. "It was a little sprained ankle. I'm sure he'll be moping around in no time. Now, I'll take these three."

William squeezed his cup but didn't push it. Keeping his voice light he said, "Fair trade ma'am."

"Listen," she said, suddenly inspired, "Have you met my neighbors? Two young women about your age. Haley is a very pretty girl, some photographer of some sort. And her sister is, very…" she hesitated trying to find something complimentary to say about her. Time to nip that particular line of matchmaking in the bud.

"Yeah, no dice Jodi. My tastes don't run in that direction."

Jodi blinked. "Pardon?"

"I'm Gay, so, not really interested in dating women," he said, sipping the coffee. "Hmm! This is pretty good."

Jodi flushed and put her hands to her cheeks. "Oh my, I am so sorry that I assumed! It's just, you're so…" William took another sip of his coffee, waiting for that particular sentence to finish. Jodi groped for words before she settled on, "Well, there are so many type of people in the world, aren't there?"

He smiled. Yup, Jodi was good people. "Indeed there are. Well, I hope you like the produce. I'm going down to the beach to get some fishing in. Any requests."

Jodi hesitated then relaxed. "If you catch any Halibut, I'd be interested."

He knocked his knuckles on the table and stood. "Done. Have a good day."

Sebastian's gaze was locked on the code he was writing. He had music. He was comfortable in his chair and the swelling in his ankle had gone away.

Just like the hickey that had been left on his neck.

In fact, three days after the disastrous encounter with Will had almost completely erased all signs that he'd even been around the man. It was really easy to avoid someone when you didn't leave your room.

His instant messenger beeped on his non-dominate monitor. He skimmed it.

 **SamTheMan: Dude, Sasquatch sighting at my place.**

He froze.

Damn it.

He paused his music and rubbed his head before typing back,

 **SebStormChaser: Not Interested. Working.**

He muted the conversation and scowled. What rotten luck. So much for going over to Sam's that afternoon.

Less than an hour later he heard the front door bang open, then the tell-tale sound of steps down to his basement. Fuck.

"So I know you said you were- Whoa!" Sam ducked the book that Sebastian had lobbed across the room at him.

"Dude," he groused, pulling on his hair, "I am WORKING."

Sam shook his head and closed the door.

"If your aim was as bad at pool as it is with everything, man, I'd never lose."

"Go away. I am working."

"Nah man, I'm hiding out here until Sasquatch has vacated the premises." He flopped down on Seb's couch and snatching up his radio. Sebastian groaned and then put his headphones back on, trying to tune him out.

Moments later a pillow sailed perfectly over the stack of computer monitors to land on Sebastian's head.

"What the fuck, Sam." He jerked the pillow off his head. Sam was peeking over his wall of monitors.

"Let's look William up on social media."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes.

"You want to die? Because that's how you die."

Sam dragged a chair over and then sat down next to him. "I can't believe you haven't done it yet."

"Samuel," he said between clenched teeth, "I want to define the word 'Ignore' for you. It means to not pay attention to something. You pretend it doesn't exist. Cybersnooping is the opposite of that."

"Well I wasn't _gonna_ until he started getting buddy-buddy with my mom. So let's just take a look at what we can find."

Sebastian buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"You are bad for productivity, you know that?"

"So we're doing it?"

Sebastian grumbled, wrapped up his headphones, and then pulled up a browser.

"We don't even know his last name."

"Bauer," Sam supplied.

"How in the-"

"Dude has mom doing his laundry at my place. He has a few army t-shirts with his name on the tag." Sebastian blinked at him, shocked. Sam rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "C'mon dude. Some credit."

Sebastian shifted in his seat but dutifully began to run searches.

The first hits were social media pages with a man who looked a lot like Will. Except, instead of the undercut and sexy beard, he was clean cut. His cheeks looked smooth and he had a sharp jawline. The eyes were the same though. Blue ice that drilled right through whoever he was looking at.

Sam let out a low whistle. "So. He's a Staff Sergeant. That's a pretty good rank."

Sebastian blew out a breath as they skimmed through the site.

"Local Zuzu High School Students joining the Army…." He read outloud. "This is ten years old."

Sam shrugged. "I can see it. But look, he was a big guy back then too."

Sebastian scrolled through the pictures and froze when he saw what looked like a collection of yearbook photos. William had a regular haircut, golden brown hair a loose shag around a young face. He had his arms wrapped around another guy. The photo had caught them in the middle of some sort of horseplay or joke.

Sam's read the article while Sebastian was focused on the picture.

"Looks like they were doing some community service. Trouble maker even back then I guess."

"I guess," Sebastian muttered, backing out and clicking over to another page. They scrolled through social media posts, friends, and lots of good wishes for luck and his safety. Then there was a gap in updates.

It was the second page of results when Sebastian found the announcement.

Local Zuzu man returns from war under revolutionary new medical procedure.

"Dang," Sam whistled, reading through the write up with Sebastian. "Look at his face and neck."

Sebastian's stomach flopped. But he couldn't look away. William's face was pocked with red cuts, specifically around his cheeks and throat. On his shoulders were deep burns, the skin looking like it was melting in some places. The article detailed a bombing and the new procedures that they were using to increase skin growth for scarred patients. Each photo was more terrible than the last and the worse of it was…the look of hopeless despair the photographer had captured in William's eyes as he lay in the hospital bed, a pair of older adults holding his hands.

Sam's voice was hushed."If I was all scarred up, I'd probably wear a beard too," his eyes as big as saucers. Sebastian's paralysis broke and he hurriedly closed the window.

"This isn't okay," he said, his heart hammering. "This is none of our business."

Sam shrugged and leaned back. "Dude, it's not like it was a secret. It was in the news."

 _I was a heroin addict…I've been clean for 2 years._

"Maybe, but it's still not right." Sebastian muttered, shutting down his computer, as if by disconnecting from the internet he could disconnect the image.

Sam hopped up, stretching. "Hey, it's not like we knew that he was an injured vet. Look at him! He doesn't look all melty or anything. That medical procedure must have been pretty good."

"Yeah, well, he also is covered in tattoos and facial hair. How would we know? If it didn't bother him, he probably wouldn't be covering it all up."

Sam put his hands up in the air.

"Fine, Fine." His phone dinged and he pulled it out, looking at it.

"You wanna go hang out with Abby?"

"Go on ahead," Sebastian said, sitting on the couch. "My ankle isn't quite better."

Sam shrugged. "Suit yourself."

After he'd walked out, Sebastian let his head fall back on the couch.

 _I've seen too much of this world_

That's what he'd said. No wonder he didn't care.

After coming back from that kind of thing, why would he?

It was a small town and on a Friday night, anyone who was anyone was at the Stardrop Saloon. All week long William had avoided most people, save for Shane, his new best friend and drinking buddy and Jodi, his laundress.

As he stood in front of his mirror, grooming, he decided that to avoid the bar in an effort to give Sebastian space would be too much like caring what people thought. Because if he came right down to it, it was cowardly to hide. Time to bury the hatchet.

He'd said he was ready for strings. He'd told him the truth. Time for him to follow his own advice. If Sebastian still wanted nothing to do with him, was sickened by his presence? Well. He'd burn that bridge when he crossed it.

The Saloon was busy for once, music playing and dancing happening between the oldsters. Yet his eyes skimmed and locked onto the dark haired man near the pool table. He couldn't help it. As much as he wanted to get over him, to lose himself in the work of the farm, Sebastian was in his mind at all time. He dropped his gaze and kept moving. Wouldn't want the good people of Pelican Town thinking that Sebastian had an admirer, since that was apparently enough to send the little trouble-chaser underground.

He took a seat at the bar near Shane and in the mirror of the bar, could see Sebastian staring, jaw open in shock. Now who would attract attention?

Shane misinterpreted his gaze over towards the back. "Good luck getting the table with that crew there," Shane said as Emily brought them beer.

"Yeah?"

"Oh they hog that table right the hell up."

William turned in his seat and frowned. He liked pool well enough. Sebastian's head jerked away and he grinned. Little trouble-chasing rabbit was trying to run. Well, he was done avoiding this confrontation.

"Why don't we go see if they want to play some two on two."

Shane snorted. "Hell no. I hate these people. I come here to drink, not to play games."

Will put some coins down. "Keep the beer flowing for my buddy Shane, Em. And a round for the crew in the back."

"Sure thing, Bill," she chirped, spinning off.

"I bet I can beat the emo-kid," Will said to Shane, "At that pool game."

Shane chortled. "As you have lost every bet you've made with me, I will take it because of the assured victory." They bumped fists and William sauntered towards the pool room.

For a moment, he questioned himself. Questioned what he was doing. Why keep reaching for a flame that had burned him already? Yet as he approached, he could see how defiant Sebastian looked, pool stick held like a weapon, body tense. His own tensed in response. No, they weren't done. This connection was fragile, but it wasn't dead. And besides, he'd always been too stupid to know when to quit.

Unlike the first time he'd come in the game room, Sebastian didn't bother trying to avoid him. Though, he did put Sam, Abigail and the pool table between them.

"A peace offering," he said, waving a hand at Emily who'd followed him with the drinks. "And a challenge."

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"A game of pool."

Abigail and Sam exchanged a look. Sebastian spoke up.

"Okay, so we play. If I win, you don't come to the Bar for the next 8 Fridays. One for every ball I sink."

William frowned. Aggressive. Damned if that wasn't sexy. He hadn't planned on betting but if that was the way Sebastian wanted to play things. After all; risk nothing, win nothing.

"And if I win," William said, reaching over and taking up a pool stick, "You have to spend 8 minutes with me in that backroom." Abigail coughed and Sam patted her back.

Sebastian's jaw tightened and William could see he was pissed. Good. He was getting pissed too, as all their undealt with baggage bubbled under the surface and spreading the anger made things feel more even.

"Deal."


	13. Chapter 13

It was so frustrating to see William march into the Stardrop like he owned the damn place.

This guy had been here for, what, less than a month? And already he'd turned everything in Sebastian's world into a quagmire of anxiety. Most days were full of stress of social interactions, but he had a routine. He had buffers. He had coping mechanisms. Except, not any more. Because like a storm crashing into a power plant, William had blown out all his circuits.

There were the days of B.W., or Before William. Those were the halcyon days of peace, easily demarked from the current Era A.W. by the manageable level of stress. Now? He had hit the limit. He had reached the wall and had snapped.

Oh, he'd fought it, he thought grimly, glaring at William. Sebastian had struggled against the inevitable clash at the billiards table by trying to stay home. But Sam and Abigail didn't seem to recognize the new epochs of his life and had dragged him huffing and groaning out of his safe, solitary cave of seclusion into their Friday night routine.

For the first hour, he'd been fine. He'd been just fine. He'd even gotten a few games of pool in against Sam, kicking his ass as usual. Abigail had cheered them like she had all the weeks before and somehow, things were cool between them again, even though he hadn't quite managed to approach her on his asshattery. Bonding over teasing Sam, a comforting and routine progression of social interaction. Familiar. Safe.

But like a bad penny, in William walked, talking to Shane, the town drunk, as if they were best friends. Yet another sign that William knew nothing about staying out of the town gossip mill.

The bet? Fucking inspired. Finally, Sebastian could show William he wasn't good at everything. Sebastian had been playing billiard games at this table since he was 14 years old and could hold the cue stick. William might have been everywhere and done everyone, but in this arena, Sebastian was king.

 _Bow down, Bitch._

"You sure about this, man?" Sam asked, looking over at him. "He's—"

"He's going down," Sebastian said flatly, nodding over at Abby. "Rack 'em up Abby. Let's bounce this punk from our place."

"Ooooh, I'm skerd," William snarked, choosing a cue stick from a rack of them. Abigail hopped up and began to collect the balls into a triangle, 8 ball in the middle, solids and stripes scattered.

"You, um, probably don't want to antagonize him," Abigail said to William, glancing over at Sebastian's frosty eyes. "He's really good at this."

"Why does it not surprise me that you know your way around a set of balls, Sebastian?"

Sam covered his mouth with a swallowed choking sound and stepped back.

"I'mma," he coughed and then gained control of himself. He slapped Sebastian on the back and took a big step backwards. "Hey…Abby and I are just gonna stand back, right, Abby?"

"Definitely," She said, finishing her task and hanging the ball rack to the side. "Hand me my beer…and maybe go get some popcorn."

Sebastian put the cue ball down and gestured at the table.

"Oh now," William said, resting his chin on his cue stick, eyes taunting, "house goes first. Home field advantage, Babe."

Sebastian shot him a glare, and then, never breaking eye contact, slammed his cue stick into the ball, shattering the perfect triangle and sinking the 10 ball.

"Don't. Call. Me. Babe." He straightened and stalked around the table, fist clenched.

Abigail let out a low whistle, and Sebastian heard her whisper, "William is toast."

William never lost that sardonic tilt to his head and it was infuriating.

"Alright, Sebastian. My bad." He stepped back as Sebastian tuned him out to look at the table. He has one cluster of colored and stripes that would be tricky to clear but he was pretty sure he could do it if he could just focus. A few 30 degree angle shots could clear them and with a left handed English, he'd have the table under his control. His cue rested in the middle of the diamonds…perfect placement.

"You know," William said, interrupting his silence. "I was thinking about some things this week."

"Must have hurt your head," Sebastian muttered, deciding on stripes after all. He leaned over the table to set up his shot.

"I was thinking about how much I hate strings."

He fouled it. He'd aimed too high on the ball, spinning it uselessly against the rail. A rookie mistake.

He hadn't missed a shot that obvious since he was 18.

Sam's eyebrows climbed and Abby leaned back on her heels.

Sebastian took a deep breath and let it out slowly, straightening his back.

"Your move." Was all he could hiss out between clenched teeth.

"Why, thank you," William said, teeth white against his beard.

William paced the table and looked down at it. Yet he didn't seem to be paying attention to the balls, his tone friendly.

"Do you know why I hate strings, Sebastian?"

Sebastian, in the name of being a good sport, had stalked over to the last beer that lay unclaimed on the tray and took it. He glared over the rim at William's stupid, handsome, face.

"Because they hold you back?"

"Not quite." Will lined up the stick and with an even stroke of the stick, sank a solid. Mistake number 1, Sebastian realized, his mind calculating angles. If Will continued that line of play, he was going to get bungled up on the three striped balls in a cluster near the front of the table. Anticipation thrummed down his back. He was still in this game. He looked up to see if Will had caught his error and his brain did a stutter-step.

William was staring at him with those bedroom eyes while he polished the tip of his stick. Sebastian took another swallow of beer, breaking the contact. Did he always have to be so damn obvious?

"I don't like strings because they can tangle and trip a guy up." He placed the chalk down on the table, right side up as god intended. Sebastian's heart was pounding as Will looked at the ball placement, all shifting shoulders and burly muscle. Sebastian tossed his hair out of his eyes.

"Doesn't look like you've been tripping much lately," he said, "Unless you have some new _marks_ I don't know about."

Bingo. Finally a hit. William's eyes narrowed and with a smooth motion he put one scar-marked fist into his pocket.

"So," he said, leaning back over the table to take a shot that Sebastian knew was going to go wild, "How do you feel about strings?"

Sebastian cocked his head as William pulled the cue stick back and forth, angling.

"I feel nothing."

William hit the ball too hard and as predicted, it kicked too low of the diamond, slamming into the cluster but not giving the cues enough spin to sink. William frowned, perturbed.

Sebastian took another long swallow of beer and handed it to Abby to hold. She nodded at him and he took the chalk, giving a swift rub over the tip of his stick as he plotted William's defeat. All he had to do was get a kick shot into the first object ball and he could begin the cascade to victory.

"It's a shame, you know," William said, interrupting his calculations. He looked up at him, irritated. William was taking a wide stance, his pool stick in front of him. Sebastian looked back down.

"What is?" He leaned forward, setting up the cue, eyes on the purple number 12. His dad's voice echoed, _the ball goes where your eyes go._

"That your pants are so tight. Must make all that bending difficult."

Sebastian didn't let it get to him this time and cracked the white cue against the 12, setting off a chain reaction that sank the 9, 14 and 13. It was a trick, but William's bumbling earlier had laid the balls perfectly to preform the 3-in one. He looked raised his eyes to see William's amazed gaping and said, "I don't find bending difficult."

Damn it, he realized, he was flirting back. Something he had never, in the entire history of B.W. ever done.

He let his hair fall over his face and risked a glance over at the main bar. No one was paying attention to their game. He let out a breath. Just a normal Friday night with nothing too odd. Everyone having a good time and all. No tension laced gambling. Not over here. Just a couple of bros. Being bros.

"Nice shot, man." Sam said, reminding Sebastian that they still had an audience, even if it was just his friends.

"You know your way around a rod," Will agreed. Sebastian grit his teeth.

"Its gonna be awful quiet here without you to liven things up on Fridays," he told him between clenched teeth.

Will shrugged. "You never said anything about Saturdays. Or Sundays. Or all the other days that end in y. Besides, I'm so busy I don't away have time to come hang. Maybe it will make me more focused."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and tossed his hair again. He leaned forward to take the shot but was distracted by a small 'mmmhm' of approval that William made behind him. He hit high on the cue again and _scratched_. He stared in disgust as the white cue sank into the pocket instead of the object ball he'd been aiming for. He whirled around, furious.

"Are you ogling me?"

"Yup."

His face turned crimson. "Well," he sputtered. He turned his back to the main bar and shoved a hand in his hoodie. "Stop."

"Strike me blind." Will stepped forward, leaning over to retrieve the cueball. "Because that's what it would take for me to stop looking at you."

Sebastian was, William decided, probably going to win.

Which hadn't been in his plan.

But it was damned distracting to see Sebastian lean over, back straight and eyes focused, his hips bent just so. His fingers were long and confident against the pool stick and Sebastian seemed to be completely confident with what he was doing. And the way he slammed that stick? Pure, sexual magic.

Which, again, hadn't been the plan.

He frowned down at the table, then placed the cue ball.

Who was Sebastian tonight? How had William wound up on the back foot when it came to pool, of all games?

"This is _my_ game, Will," Sebastian said, his color returning to his normal. He leaned against Sam, an arm resting on the blonde man's shoulder. "You've gotten lucky a few times because I'm having an off night. But I always win."

"Makes sense," William offered, looking back down at the placement of the balls. "Since you're such a ball buster, it's within your skillset."

"Are you going to shoot off your mouth or take your shot?" Sebastian snapped back. William squinted at the board. Waited. Then broke the silence with a cheerful clap, letting his stick rest in the corner of his arm.

"Side wager time."

"Oh please," Sebastian scoffed. "You've sunk one ball and you think you can make a side wager?"

"You scratched ba-" he smirked and then with heavy sarcasm replaced the endearment, "BRO. If I lose, then you have nothing but gains."

Sebastian glanced over at his friends. "Can you believe this guy?"

"He's pretty mouthy," Abigail said, swirling her beer in her mug. "I'm surprised the Sasquatch knows how to speak."

"That's Sergeant Sasquatch to you, little lady," William drawled. Sam coughed and both Abigail and Sebastian glared at him. He held his hands up.

"What? He's funny."

"Funny looking," Abigail deadpanned, still giving William the evil eye.

"Wager or no wager?" He waited a beat before adding, "Unless you're chicken shit."

Sam winced and Sebastian's eyes became slits.

"Keep digging your hole, Will. If you work hard enough, maybe you can bury yourself."

It sounded mean, and to the untrained eye, perhaps one might come to the mistaken conclusion that Sebastian currently despised William and wanted him to _actually_ go away and never speak to him again. But he'd called him Will. Twice. Just like he had last week when begging for release. There was still hope on the S. S. Boyfriend.

William glared back down at the balls. He couldn't lose.

"If I sink that green ball," he pointed to a corner ball that had at least four different obstacles between the cue ball and the pocket, "Then you hang out with me tomorrow at the Egg Festival."

Sebastian's jaw dropped. Then he tossed his head back and laughed scornfully.

"And if you miss it?"

William scowled, his brain reaching for something equally terrible, then nodded. "Then I'll shave off my beard."

Now it was Abigail's turn to cough. Sebastian's mouth opened, but he didn't say anything. He swallowed and the muscles in his neck became more defined. There was a silent battle between them. A conversation only they were having.

 _You wouldn't._

 _Oh, but I'm crazy. I would._

"Fine." Sebastian snapped. "Hope you have a sharp razor."

"Oh, Bastian," he replied, unable to help how husky his voice got when he said his name, "your man always keeps his knife sharp."

William angled the pool cue then, adjusting the rise to 80 degrees, then just like when Sebastian had made the break, he met Sebastian's eyes.

Electric shocks ran down his back as he slammed the tip into the white ball. It jumped up, bounced off the side of the table and in a perfect 30 degree curve, slammed the green ball into the indicated pocket.

Sam let out a low whistle.

Sebastian's face flushed and he nodded, sipping his beer, doing everything possible not to show the relief in his face.

"Fine. Festival tomorrow. A bet's a bet."

William grinned then went back to his next shot. He missed it by a mile and scowled.

He only really knew the trick shots he and his buddies had practiced back at the barracks. If something wasn't set up wonky on the table, he rarely could manage to sink anything.

Could he bounce a cueball into a beer cup? Absolutely. He'd bet the farm on it.

Could he hit a regular spin? Hell no. He was fucked.

Sebastian moved past him, jaw still tight.

William held his ground, forcing him to cross past him. When Sebastian was close enough he lowered his voice. "Admit you're relieved."

"Relieved about what?" Sebastian was whispering too.

"That I'm keeping the beard." He winked at him.

"You are insane." He said this loud enough so his friends could hear.

"Common knowledge, Bastian."

Sebastian ignored that and leaned forward, slamming his stick harder than necessary into the 15, sinking into the corner pocket. Then, as if he were flipping switches on a wall, the rest of the stripes went into pockets.

12 followed 11 leaving only the 8.

William frowned. He'd never seen anyone make a pool game his bitch before, but if it had been a naughty child, Sebastian would be slapping it's ass over his skinny knee.

"Damn."

Sebastian turned his head to look at him as he leaned over the table.

"Don't underestimate me, Will. This is my town. This is my bar." He looked across the stick down at the 8 ball.

"And this is my game. Back corner pocket." He snapped the pool stick forward and as if it were magic, the ball rolled towards the 8, hit it….and just before it could fall into the pocket, it slowed, balancing at the edge. William held his breath. Was he about to get lucky?

Just as he had the thought, the ball tipped and sank into the pocket, rolling down to the end of the ball collection in the table.

William let all the air out of his lungs and narrowed his eyes. Fine then.

"Good game," he said, holding a hand out.

Sebastian looked at him, then at the hand.

"C'mon, duuuuude," William drawled. "Don't want the people of Pelican Town saying you're a poor winner."

He frowned then reached over.

Touching.

Sebastian's fingers were long and warm, slightly damp from sweat. So he'd been nervous.

"See you tomorrow at the Egg Fest," he said softly, letting go after a longer-than-heterosexually necessary squeeze. "Sweet dreams."

Sebastian didn't jerk away, just let his hand fall to his side.

When Will left, Sebastian felt as though all the light in the room had left with him.

"Dude, that was the most badass thing I've ever seen you do," Sam said, coming around the side and clapping him on the back.

"It was pretty damn impressive," Abigail agreed, "I knew you could kick the crap out of Sam,"

"Hey!"

"But you are badass against other people too. And hey! Fridays will be Sasquatch-free. So you're the winner."

"Yeah," he agreed, picking up his warming beer. "Go team." He put the pool stick down. "But I'm done for the night. Going home."

Abby opened her mouth then closed it. "Sure. Of course. We'll see you tomorrow at the egg festival."

He waved at them and made a beeline home, suddenly hit with a crash of adrenaline from going head to head with Will…and winning.

Hours later, when Sebastian had gotten home and gotten into bed, he played the game over again. Each word. Each ball sink. And that masse shot out of nowhere? Who had taught him a jump shot? An old boyfriend? He shoved that particular jealousy monster back to wherever it had crawled from.

William was a hasty and reckless pool player. He took shots without thinking ahead, just busting forward with his entire being, as if he could over power a person by sheer will.

Will.

Willpower.

But that wasn't going to win him any favors in anything that required planning.

Sebastian had been terrified when Mr. Macho had bet that he'd shave off his beard. He didn't know that Will. That clean faced and normal looking guy who could have been anyone in a crowd.

He let out a breath and then slipped his hand into his pants.

Semihard just thinking about the guy.

He pulled his hand out, shivering.

He'd been trying to forget him, not waiting to beat off to him in bed.

 _Your man_

Asshole was so confusing.

 _Strike me blind…because that's what it would take to keep me from looking at you._

Will had kicked him out mere days ago but then called himself his man.

And talking about strings?

Whatever. Sebastian pushed it back focusing on breathing. He covered his head with his pillow. He just had to get through tomorrow and figure out whatever the hell was going on so he could get back to normal.

Or at least was now passed as normal in a life after William.


	14. Chapter 14

Pops had told him, years ago, before the Alzheimer's took him completely, about the festivals Pelican Town hosted.

There were two per season, all with the focus on bringing the community together. His favorite had been the Harvest festival where he'd kept a first place win for three years straight. Carrying on in his Pop's tradition, he had plans for this year's fall festival and so far, all his crops had been following along with his plans. Farming was, he decided, the most relaxing part of his new life. Relationships though? Much more challenging.

William arrived at the festival and immediately had to dodge two children chasing one another. They were running in circles, squealing and laughing, trying to whack each other with the empty wicker baskets. There were tables set up overflowing with a buffet spread of food. He cocked his head at the gathering.

Had everyone in town shown up for this shindig? Pops had been right about community togetherness. He circled the crowded courtyard, his eyes seeking Sebastian. No dice. He snagged a glass of punch, feeling at a loss. Had Sebastian chickened out? No, not after he'd put on such a fight at the bar the night before.

"Well, if it isn't our newest farmer!" William turned to see the spry little mayor, beaming at him from under his flat cap. He nodded and exchanged grips with Mayor Lewis who then stuck his thumbs in his suspenders, gazing around the crowd.

"The Egg festival was my favorite when I was a little boy," he mused. "Now I'm just amazed to see how much energy these kids have."

"Well, sugar them up and let 'em go, Lewis."

The mayor barked out a laugh.

"Have you gotten to meet everyone in town?"

"I've met a lot of people," he said, his eye catching a tell-tale dark hoodie in the corner. Sebastian was standing next to his buddy Sam, fists buried in his hoodie, petulant frown on his face. William had fantasized about how he could change Sebastian's face last night. Had thought about what he would have done had the pool game ended in his favor. Had thought all about the way Sebastian might look against the wall of Gus's storage room, biting his own arm to keep quiet with so many people just feet away…

Lewis was oblivious to his dirty daydreams. "What about the buildings? Have you seen our town's community center yet?" William pulled his gaze away from the object of his pursuit and zeroed back in on Lewis.

"Pardon?"

"Yes! Ah, how exciting. Come with me. I'll show you. It's a good time. See? They're not done setting up the dessert table."

William hesitated. Then shrugged. "As long as it doesn't take too long," he agreed, following Lewis past the barricades to the northern part of the hamlet. Apparently the town thought it was important to delineate the Festival zone from the rest of the town.

As they made space between themselves and the population, Lewis cast him a raised brow.

"You know son, I heard about your little altercation with Mr. Morris."

 _Shit._ Had the mayor brought him out into the country to shoot him like the proverbial bad dog? Gulp.

"Yup," William said in as neutral a tone as he could muster. "We had a disagreement in ideology."

"Nonsense. You knocked his lights out, William."

Well, at least the mayor was a straight shooter. "Tomayto, Tamahto."

"See you control that temper going forward, my lad. Once can be smoothed over, but if it becomes a habit?" The mayor shook his head. "I'd hate to see you in trouble, Will. Your Pops would too." He waved a hand, as if he could pull a door closed on the subject. "Still, I understand the sentiment to sock it to those Joja creeps. It's why I wanted to show you this."

The mayor stepped up to an old, rotting building. William cocked his head.

"What in the world happened to it?"

"Lightning storm a few years back," he said, his tone resigned. "Coincidently, the same summer your parents came and moved your grandpa back up into the city. Ever since the place has been abandoned. We called it the Community center back then. Not much of it left."

He pulled out an iron key and William was intrigued.

They stepped into the broken building and he looked around it, fascinated by the craftsmanship in the walls and door.

"Joja has been pressuring me to sell it," he said, a scowl in his voice. "They want to bulldoze it and turn it into another warehouse," he hesitated and then his shoulders sank a bit. "But the money would do the town a lot of good," he murmured, before sneezing at some dust motes.

As he did, behind him William could have sworn he saw a green blob crawl into a hole. He froze, eyes locked onto that hole.

"Did you see that, Lewis?"

The mayor turned around to look at where the green creature had retreated. "See what?"

"That…that thing."

"What thing?"

Just as the Mayor peered at the hole, above his head, another of the little apple-sized creature appeared, little spindling arms waving out of a neon-colored body. Then it bounced up and…for the love of all things holy, blinked little beady eyes.

He was struck, in is disbelief, with a sense of extraordinary de ja vous. The eerie familiarity shifted to horror as the creature waved at him, then disappeared from sight. The mayor shook his head, oblivious to the WhatEverItWas that had been floating over his head.

"Must be rats. Sometimes Jas and Vincent break in here to play."

William swallowed and skimmed his gaze around the walls. Weirdest fucking rats he'd ever seen. Could it be magic? He'd heard rumors of magic when he was overseas- old magic that still lived in the backwoods of the country. But the wizard wars were ancient history and he'd seen so many things debunked as he'd gotten older….but how else would something just disappear like that?

"What if," he said, testing his voice, "I wanted to come back and check this place out again?"

Lewis blinked then looked gratified. "Oh? So you're interested?"

"Yeah, uh. Interested. Definitely."

The old man smiled again, his face lighting up like the sun coming emerging from a cloud.

"Why, if that's the case, then I'll just leave it unlocked. Come on by whenever you want." He shoved the old key into his pocket. "Enough of this old place though. Let's go back. I want to go have a big helping of Marnie's egg salad."

Sebastian had psyched himself up for today. And if he'd taken extra care with his hair and actually put on a clean hoodie…well it was the festival after all. It had nothing to do with Will's bet forcing him—FORCING, mind you— to spend the day with him.

"Dude, if you adjust your bangs one more time, I'm going to tie your hand behind your back," Sam muttered, leaning against a tree.

Sebastian shoved his offending hand into his hoodie pocket.

"Why would he kick me out and then want to hang out a week later?"

"If you hadn't been avoiding him, maybe he could have talked to you like a normal person."

Sebastian itched for a cigarette.

"There is nothing normal about William Bauer," he muttered. A fission of recognition run down his spine when he caught sight of Will's trademarked hair, standing next to the Mayor.

"There he is," he hissed, "Look cool."

Sam rolled his eyes and glanced over at Abigail.

"He just told me to look cool, Abby."

"Shut up, you just ruined my count of how many times he twitched out of nerves."

"I hate you both," Sebastian muttered, shoulders straightening as William bee-lined over.

"He's so obviously ready to do unspeakable things to you, Seb," Abigail said. "How were you going to hide the homoerotic subtext of this date—"

"It's NOT a date,"

"It's totally a date."

"Would you two chill? C'mon Abby. We're gonna back up our boy. He doesn't have to face the wooly Sasquatch alone."

"I still can't believe you asked us to cockblock."

"Say the word cock one more time Abigail, and I swear to Joba I will-" but he couldn't finish the threat because William had gotten into earshot, his head high.

"Hey Sam. Abigail." Then Will was looking at him. "Sebastian."

He was paranoid. He had to be. No way had William's voice deepened. Damn it, he knew he was blushing.

"S'up, William," Sam said, buffering like a heavenly warrior of all things social.

"What were you doing with the mayor, Sergeant Squatch?" Abigail asked.

"None of your beeswax, Spooky," William said, giving Sam a brief back slap with his hand shake. He, mercifully, didn't try to touch Sebastian. He wasn't sure what he would have done if he'd tried to grab his hand or, heaven forbid, put an arm around him.

"Show me around," he said, waving a hand over the courtyard. "You guys must know all the fun stuff to do around this festival thing."

Abigail looked at him sideways.

"So. You know,"

"Abby," Sebastian warned. He knew that look she had in her eyes. It wasn't to be trusted at all.

She ignored him and there were too many people around them to risk making a scene.

"We are hanging out with you and Seb, here. Because," she narrowed her eyes and stepped forward, poking him in the chest, "We don't _trust_ you yet."

Sam gave a firm nod and put his hand possessively on Sebastian's shoulder. Had William's eyes narrowed in displeasure? Probably just his imagination.

"Yup. You have to treat our Son good, you know."

"Son?!" Sebastian was going to destroy them both.

"That's right," Abigail said crossing her arms and leaning on Sebastian's other side. "Our little basement goblin is a precious creature and you are not Approved yet."

William, damn his sexy face, was clearly taking their challenge way too seriously. Then he smirked, as if it was all just another joke.

"I see. Well." He winked, he fucking winked at Sebastian then wrapped an arm around Abigail's shoulders. "Mother dear, why don't we take a little walk? I have to discuss my intentions." And just like that, started to stroll, as if they were old friends, leaving Sebastian and Sam standing under the tree with their mouths open.

Abigail rolled her eyes and called, "I'll be right back. If you're good, I'll bring some food."

"The balls on that guy," Sam whispered, eyebrows to his hairline. Sebastian slapped his hand over his face and groaned.

"He makes everything he touches a shit storm."

"Something like that."

Sebastian peeked over at Sam and saw that his face was…pinched. The bravado of earlier was gone and replaced with…jealousy?

"Sam…?" Sebastian asked. His brain was whirling though, recalculating 100 little bits of data that he'd been too self-obsessed to notice.

Abby had stopped knocking when she came into Sam's room. Abby always healed Sam first when they played Knights of Solara. Sam standing between them at his house during that stupid fight, his back to Abby…pushing Sebastian away. Like a program that had finally begun to boot, it clicked into place. He turned back to glance over at Abby who looked to be hissing something at Will. But her mom was looking at them now, a bright eye look of interest. He faced Sam.

"Holy shit," he breathed. "How long?"

Sam whipped his head over to Sebastian, face rising with color.

"How long what?"

Sebastian couldn't let the moment pass and hook a hand under his elbow, dragged him back, farther away from the crowd. He could see that Abigail was play pushing William and laughing at something he'd said. A knife of his own jealousy twisted for a moment, seeing William with someone socially acceptable, but he shooed it away to be agonized over later.

"How. Long."

Sam groaned. "Dude, I don—"

"How long have you been in love with Abigail, you asshole."

Sam's previously rosy cheeks deepened to a crimson.

"Uhhh…."

"Does she know?"

Sam hung his head and groaned.

"Oh my god she doesn't." Click. Click. Click. Sam had kept this in for how long? Listening to Sebastian's angst fueled rants about being gay. Dealing with Sebastian as he'd gotten over his one sided crush in high school. Playing wingman for him so he could bust a nut with some strange rando at a football game…and he hadn't said one word about this.

Sam wouldn't look at him. "Don't be a chick about this, Seb."

Sebastian punched his arm. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sam threw his hands up. "Tell you what? That I was crushing on Abby? What would that have proved? We all hang out together. It would be weird to couple up and leave you out."

Sebastian felt oddly touched and also mildly annoyed.

"Besides," Sam muttered, rubbing his arm. "She's kind of always had a thing for you so…"

More puzzle pieces fell into place. Abby had a crush on HIM? Holy disaster movie batman, that was so the wrong place for her affections.

"Shit, bro."

"Yeah. Shit."

Sam turned and scowled over at where William was now holding an egg high over Abigail's head, her face screwed up trying to reach it.

"And now the Flaming Squash is being all flirty in front of Caroline and Granny, so, you know, the whole town will think they're an item by the end of the day."

Sebastian swallowed, sick to realize Sam was right.

"At least it would look normal," he muttered. Sam glared at him now.

"Fuck you dude, Abby and I look just fine together."

"I didn't mean you two!"

"No, no you didn't." he said, frustrated. "You meant you. Because you think that's what the whole world revolves around. Sit on the sidelines if you want, but I'm not going to let this bullshit stand." And with that Sebastian was standing alone under a tree, baffled by how quickly William had once again turned his day upside down.


	15. Chapter 15

Abigail didn't trust him, but William just took that to mean she was smart.

"Don't think you can butter me up, dude. I am not a piece of bread."

"I'm not trying to butter you up," William said, his arm still draped over her shoulder. "I'm trying to _charm_ you, girl. There is a difference."

"Semantics."

Abigail turned her head to glance back at the boys they'd left standing under the trees. He followed her gaze to see Sebastian was hauling Sam deep into the shadows. Well shit, if his angry little basement goblin wasn't going to watch him pretend heteronormativity, he'd drop the act. He let go of Abigail's shoulder and she put some distance between them. She tossed her purple hair to the side and crossed her arms, glaring up at him.

"Here's the deal, Abby," William said, lacing his fingers behind his head, looking up at the clouds, then down at her. "I had plans with my boy, Sebastian today and I wanna see what it would take for you and Sam to go find something else to be interested in for a while."

She looked him up and down then gave a derisive sniff.

"You're not his type you know."

That caught him on the wrong foot. He scowled.

"What?"

"I said," Abigail said, reaching over to the table and swiping a cupcake, "you're not his type. Sebastian likes clean-cut, rock star types. Not this mountain man thing you've got going. And he likes funny, nice, outgoing types that everyone is into." She took a lick of the icing before saying, "And you're a controversial and polarizing force, Sergeant Squatch."

William scowled, irritated. "I am not. I am a fucking delight."

Abigail shrugged and began to meander towards a bench. William glanced back over at Sam and Sebastian who were still deep in conversation and not looking at them. Well so much for trying to get under Sebastian's skin that way. She sprawled on the bench, looking absolutely comfortable, chewing cupcake. He perched next to her, resting his elbows on his knees. Then Abigail nodded her head towards a cluster of women.

"See her? That's Sam's mom, Jodi. She likes you fine, so good job getting her on your side. And there is my mom, Caroline, who is Jodi's best friend. Mom thinks you're going to bring trouble and they had some sort of argument about it last week. So, no William, you are not a fucking delight."

"It's not my faul-"

"Yes," she snapped. "It is. Because they were fighting about you."

William steepled his fingers but didn't say anything. Abigail licked icing off of the paper and continued.

"You didn't make any friends by pissing off Joja Corp, you know," she said, looking at him from the side. "The whole store has been on a mega sale and Morris has been going to Mayor Lewis's house almost daily trying to pressure him to sell that old community center."

To turn that beautiful building into some sort of warehouse.

She nodded over towards a redheaded girl who was talking to a dark-skinned girl. "That's Maru, Sebastian's half-sister. She works with Dr. Harvey. She told Penny about how bad Morris's injuries were so now Penny thinks you're a psycho. The fact that her mom, Pam, likes you? Just makes it worse."

"What's wrong with Pam?"

"She's always drunk and can't hold down a job. Penny is constantly hauling her drunkass home."

William's brows knit. "None of the people you've told me about have even met me, Abigail. Once they do—"

"Don't you get it, William? It doesn't matter if they know you or not. You have set up your reputation. Town Tough guy." She finished the cupcake as he contemplated this. "Sebastian on the other hand? He's a quiet dude. I've known him since elementary school. Any time there was a task that made you stand in front of people, he'd go find a way to hide. You're hot gossip, big guy." Her tone hardened, "the bad kind."

William looked around and began, with a sinking feeling, to see she was right.

Over by the punch a grizzled old man in a wheelchair was staring at him while grumbling to his white-haired wife. Across the way, a pretty blonde girl was clutching an athletic type's arm, covering the side of her mouth while she looked at him. The athletic type was laughing at whatever joke she was making. He narrowed his brows.

What utter bullshit.

"That girl over there…"

"Haley," Abigail supplied.

"Yeah, her. Why is she laughing?"

Abigail shrugged. "She's the Stardew Valley beauty queen. Pelican Town got a big playground built from the county community work she did two years ago, so if I had a hazard to guess, I'd say that she was _judging_ you."

He made a kissy face at her when she glanced over at him and he saw her face redden as she ducked her head. Abigail punched his shoulder.

"Damn it, Squatch. That's the kind of thing you need to knock off."

He glared at the cobblestones. "Sebastian thinks this stuff is important?"

"You should think it's important too," Abigail said, balling the cupcake wrapper up in her hand. "Also, next time you go drinking at the docks, don't throw your trash in the lake."

Now he did a doubletake.

"How…? No one even saw that."

"You're an idiot. Everyone knows everything that happens. Shane works at Joja with Sam. He told Sam he'd met you and bragged about how bad you were at skipping cans. Sam then came back by and told me the other day when we were hanging out. Then Leah, whose house is down there, well she also heard you two drunk morons carousing. She told her friend Elliott while they were at the bar and Emily overheard. She probably told Haley, who is her sister by the way, and Gus, her boss. If Gus knows, well buddy, then a news flyer might as well been sent out."

"Sweet baby peaches," he muttered, looking at the people in his new safe haven for the first time.

Oh sure, they were nice. Had been kind to him even. But now, he remembered Jodi sitting in her kitchen, telling him all about Sebastian. Pierre's sly comments about who or what came into his shop.

William let out a breath.

Pelican Town was a little more complicated that he thought.

Sam had left him in the trees and Sebastian wondered if the world would ever return to its proper alignment.

After several minutes of watching from the sidelines though, he couldn't stand it anymore and moseyed over where the rest of his people were standing around.

When he reappeared, William seemed to brighten.

"Well hello there, Sebastian. Glad you came to join us."

"This stuff is lame," he muttered, not meeting William's eyes.

"Uh, yeah it is," Abigail scoffed, "cuz the egg hunt hasn't started yet."

"Aren't you a little old for that Abigail?"

She crossed her arms. "I will never be too old for the egg hunt. I hold the current first place with 8 entire eggs found." She looked William up and down. "I own this game."

William frown and looked around. "So. If you were to lose…"

"Haven't you already learned your lesson about challenging masters of their craft?"

"That was pool. Pool takes skill. Hunting eggs? That's just luck."

Abigail glared daggers at William.

"Aright, Sergeant Sasquatch. How about a little side bet?"

Now he looked interested, damn his handsome face.

"I'm listening, missy."

"If I win, you have to put up with Sam and me being all up in your business while you hang out with Sebastian."

"And if you lose, you have to buzz off."

"What is your game, Will?" Sebastian asked with frustration, "I thought you didn't want anything else to do with me." He wave a hand around, hissing, "Yet here you are, crashing my normal survival corner for big holidays."

William snorted. "Well I don't know how else to get you to talk to me! You're not getting off the hook that easily, babe."

The word shot him through the heart.

Babe?

Still?

After…

William leaned forward and Sebastian could feel the uncomfortable weight of neighbor's eyes on him, "and you'll see that I'm not an embarrassment," he hissed, his eyes locked on him.

Sebastian felt like he had been rocked.

"Okay, fine." Abigail said, irritated. "Sebastian, I shall vanquish this mythical beast for you and then _maybe_ things can get back to normal."

Normal? Nothing would ever be normal as long as William lived here.

William held a hand, "you're on sister."

They shook on it and then stalked off towards the Mayor, bumping each other's shoulders as they did. Except. William wasn't using any force when he jostled Abigail, as if he knew how hard he could bounce her if he really wanted to try.

"What the hell did I just witness?" Sam wondered aloud.

"Hurricane William and his aftermath," Sebastian said grimly.

"Abby is going to wipe the floor with him."

"Maybe," Sebastian said. "He's sober this time though."

"Nuh uh," Sam said. "Abby knows every nook and cranny of the town. She'll find more eggs than anyone else, just like always."

"Will is hard to predict though," Sebastian countered.

Sam got a mischievous look.

"Side bet."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"If Abigail wins, then you have to let her play the wizard in Solora chronicles."

"What!? But she's the healer."

"She wants to be the magician sometimes! Just say you will."

"Yeah? Well if Will wins, he gets to play the Warrior."

Sam smirked then turned back to watch the lineup.

"So. You want him to play games with us huh?"

Sebastian felt caught.

Then shrugged. "Is it a bet?"

They shook hands as the whistle to start the hunt ripped through the air.


	16. Chapter 16

William took the lay of the land.

He'd been up and down the town square in his daily jaunts to Pierre's, the beach and his weekly walks to Jodi's. He had a good mind for terrain and if one considered that all of the objects for this particular hunt would be intended for small bodies with short eyes, all he had to do was think like a small person.

Because at the end of the day, the egg hunt was about more than beating Abigail. It was about more than just being accepted into Sebastian's group of friend's too. He had to prove that he was capable of being a part of Sebastian's world. Had to prove himself not just to Sebastian, but to the whole town.

A mountain that he was willing to climb.

He walked up to the starting line where Lewis had everyone gathered. He stood between Abigail and a few other citizens of the town. Then frowned. There were kids here. Small kids. A little girl in a purple dress with her black hair pulled back in a ribbon. Shane was watching from the back, his face hung over. Jas then, he decided, his goddaughter. And there was Vincent, Jodi's kid.

Shit.

He shouldn't have taken this bet.

Abby was oblivious to the other competitors against her. Instead, she was staring off into space, her body couched and ready to launch at the first available egg. A plan formed into William's head and he nodded, waiting for Lewis's whistle.

They'd have 5 minutes to find as many eggs as possible. He just had to find more eggs than Abby.

Yeah, he'd do this.

The whistle rent the air and he dashed right, snatching up an egg.

Abby had gone in the opposite direction.

He began grabbing eggs as they crossed his path, remembering what she'd said. Her record was 8 eggs. He just had to beat that and he'd be the undeniable victor.

Just get 9 eggs in 5 minutes, William, he told himself.

There was one, under a bush. Another in the lowest branches of the trees. He followed the trail of eggs, darting between the fences and houses that were used as barriers.

It was like being in a game zone. Ding egg. Ding. Egg.

He glanced down at his basket. 7. He was close.

Abigail was a beast at this though, he could see her running and snatching eggs, jumping. He frowned suddenly at a loss. He looked left, then right and… and then caught a look at Sebastian. He was…pointing? William followed his finger and he could see it. A line of several eggs in a row…if he could just hurry.

He tore towards them, hair flying and he skidded, snatching one, two and THREE more eggs. Just as he tossed it into his basket, the whistle blew again.

He let out a breath and stood, cocking his head quizzically to look at Sebastian.

Who had turned away, hands laced behind his head, following Sam and the other townspeople to the square for the count. As if he hadn't just helped him out.

Who was giving mixed signals now?

Before he could make it to the circle though, he scooped five eggs out of his basket and dropped them into Vincent's basket. And then he did the same with the remaining eggs into Jas's.

They both looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"G'on," he said, winking. "Go show Lewis."

They had 9 each when the counts came and both kids won to a tie.

Abigail's jaw dropped as the prize money was split between the two of them.

"That clever bastard," Sam marveled, as Abigail stood, absolutely frozen in shock. "How did he do it?"

"Hurricane William, man. You can't ever predict him."

William had clapped Abigail on the back and they were turning towards them. He was giving Sebastian a quizzical look and he ducked his head, hiding behind that long bang of hair. As they got closer, Abigail spoke up.

"You didn't win, you know."

"Yeah Spooky, but neither did you."

"Stop calling me Spooky."

"Stop calling me Sasquatch."

She crossed her arms, irritated. "Well that still doesn't mean that you won the bet."

"Actually, Spookerella, I didn't bet that I would win. I bet that you would lose."

She opened her mouth then closed it. Then opened it again.

"Um, Sam," he said, suddenly feeling embarrassed but having to blurt out what he wanted before he changed his mind. "Why don't you go…hang out with Abby and make her feel better?"

Sam raised his brow. "You going to be okay?"

"Not much of a bet if I don't spend some time with him. After all, he's pretty much perma-banned from the bar for next two months."

Sam shrugged and they fist bumped in absent agreement before Abigail and William appeared.

"C'mon loser. Let's go get some food"

"Shut up, Sam."

They wandered towards the table and if Sam was letting his hand linger a bit on her back, she didn't shrug it off. Sebastian felt that, at least a little bit, he and Sam were okay now. He glanced over and Will was looking at him with those Too Intense blue eyes again.

He stuffed both hands in his hoodie pocket then started towards the bank of the river. "C'mon, Will."

William mirrored his stance, shoving his hands in his pockets and followed him, waiting until they were close enough that the sound of the river would muffle their words before speaking. "Games like that should go to kids. Abigail and me? We're old enough not to win stuff."

Sebastian chuckled and then sat down on the bank, stretching his legs out. Will sat next to him and they stared out at the river.

"Didn't expect to see you last night." He ventured, staring at the water so he didn't lose his nerve.

"I missed you."

Sebastian felt his heart pound at the bald admission. How did he just blurt it all out like that?

"You told me to go fuck myself the last time we saw each other," Sebastian pointed out, pulling his knees up, curling up defensively.

William shrugged. "Changed my mind."

"Sort of random how quickly that happened."

"Well, Sebastian, it's like this." William laid back on the grass, an arm curled around the back of his head. "I live in this tiny ass town now. And so do you. We're gonna run into each other. And when we do, as much as I might be all pissed off about your little freak out rant, ruining our good time—"

Sebastian felt his eyebrows hit his hair and his back imitated a steel rod.

" _I_ ruined it?"

"Yeah, man." William said, eyes closed and sardonic smile on his face. "I was all ready to snug in for the rest of the night but then you were all like, ' _now what_ '. So it got heated. But look, if you don't want all your neighbors and stuff know who you're laying pipe with, well, I've been considering it. Maybe, just maybe we try this closet thing for a little bit."

Sebastian, who had been compiling a sharp accusation felt it die in his throat.

"What?"

"Well, thank Abby. She got me thinking. If this town is as petty and small minded as you think it is, maybe it's time to do a strategic readjustment of tactics."

Military language, Sebastian noted, looking back towards the river. He pulled his knees up closer to hide the bottom half of his face.

"Re-adjustment, how?" He was not going to hope for anything.

"Well, instead of being normal people who hang out at the saloon for a good time, why don't you come up to the farm sometime this week and hook up my internet. You can build me a network-thing. I'll even pay you for it. But then," he gave him a sideways look, "If it takes a long time because of…entanglements, well. That's just something you and I would know about."

Sebastian's heart began to pound.

"Think about it," William said, turning his head at a sound that Sebastian hadn't noticed. He turned and could spot Sam and Abby making their way over with plates loaded with food and drinks. William wasn't done.

"And if you decide to do it, let me know when I go to your mom's shop later this week. I'm hiring her to help me fix the house. After those renovations are done, you can come help me out with rejoining the cyber world."

Sebastian felt light headed, knew he had to be blushing.

 _Entanglements_ huh? Like how their limbs had entangled?

He glanced back at Sam and Abigail. They'd been stopped by Jas and Vincent who were talking to Abigail. He did a visual skim around the area before reaching his hand out and tentatively squeezing William's hand.

Will responded with a hard squeeze back, possessive and acknowledging. Even as he laid back, for all the world, looking as though he wasn't touch him. The tall grass hid their fingers.

"You're only doing this because I'm the only tail in Pelican Town." He accused.

William didn't let go of the fingers.

"Guys like you, Bastian, are worth chasing."

Sebastian curled up tighter, letting his hair fall forward. His back was to the city and their fingers were mostly buried in the grass. But it felt…dangerous and thrilling to be holding hands in semipublic.

"A guy like you, Will? I might even let you catch me."


	17. Chapter 17

William got up the next day feeling pretty motivated. It was a bright day and he intended to get the mess of strawberry seeds he'd bought yesterday into the ground.

Yesterday, Sebastian had suggested he check out the Prize booth that the kids were hanging around. He'd said it might have some things useful around the farm. That's when he'd found them. Strawberry seeds. According to Pierre, most people bought a packet or two to add to their spring gardens. William had dumped out his entire pouch of gold and shoved it over. He had a recipe for a jam his grandfather used to make but it called for a lot of strawberries to. He only had half the growing season left if he wanted to get these into the ground in time.

Sebastian hadn't run away after their handholding, but instead had lingered near his side. He hadn't let William touch him yet, nothing beyond those simple grazes when no one could see. It was a novel experience, from start to finish.

With every other boyfriend William had, they'd begun hard and then ended just as hard. Even when he and Cameron had been together, their stressful life and death surroundings had brought them into a constant frenzy. And then after the aftermath of the bombing…William shied away from those thoughts, too painful to approach.

His fields were rich and fertile. He had green bean poles with climbing vines, a feast of cauliflower, and a waving field of blooming kale. To the side, he'd put up some blue jazz, a flower that was unique to the valley. He was starting to get attached to the little puffballs.

Sebastian hadn't let him do much of anything yesterday, he reflected. Yet he couldn't stop thinking about their time together. They'd rejoined his friends as it started to get dark and he'd walked with them all as they went home.

It was awkward, he realized, how many in-jokes there were. They'd known each other for so long, he'd felt like they had their own language. One he was still learning the words to.

He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath as he was suddenly and absolutely hit with the memory of how good it felt to be high instead of a ball of anxiety and concern. He inhaled then put the can to the side, picked up his axe and began to get to work on the next level of trees between himself and the back of his property.

With each swing he replayed their last interaction, their last words.

He'd been walking Sebastian back to the farm, creeping closer and closer to the shyer man, before finally, hidden in the overreaching trees that lined the path away from Town he'd slipped his hand into one of Sebastian's too-tight back pockets, squeezing his ass.

Sebastian's face, so red and embarrassed.

Swing

His weak protests as William had leaned against a tree, hidden from sight from anyone who would pass by.

Swing

His panting breathes and little whimpers when William had cupped his neck and explored his mouth.

Swing

Wood chips flew as he began to sweat, heavily. He had to focus on the good stuff. Because if he didn't. If he didn't, he'd ruin everything. And William couldn't go back to where he'd been.

He slammed the axe down one last time and the small sapling he'd been attacking fell over, several old branches snapping off as he did. He let out a long breath and then leaned the axe to the side, dragging the wood over to his pile.

Sebastian hadn't stayed after they'd cooled down enough to stop.

"I want to slow down, Will," he'd said, in that spring-cool night. Around them the crickets and night bugs had sung a chorus of cheerful celebration.

"We're not moving at all, Babe," he'd pointed out.

"Maybe, but I just…more of this. Less of…things that leave us screaming at each other. I've…I've never had a boyfriend before."

The confession had rocked him.

"So. Slow?" William wondered if his heart would melt when Sebastian looked up at him underneath that shock of black hair, vulnerable and hopeful. His face flushed from his kisses, a flush he had put there. He swallowed back inadequate words and crushed him against his chest, resting his whiskered chin on top of Sebastian's hair. After a few seconds, William had felt him wrap him up back. They stayed like that in the shadows of the tree near the path, Sebastian leaning into him while he calmed his racing heart. Finally, he felt confident in his voice not warbling like a teenage girl's.

"If that's what you want."

William blinked away the replay. But for a moment, he could still feel Sebastian's arms wrapping him up tight, breath on his chest. It hurt. It felt too raw. Too much pressure and too much room for absolute disappointment.

He went inside, showered off the dirt, fertilizer, and sawdust then got his basket of produce for the daily sojourn to Pierre's.

As he went up the town square, he passed that path that Lewis had taken him up to yesterday. He frowned. He was sure he'd seen something weird up there yesterday…he turned and looked back at the open courtyard. It was still early and not a lot of the people of town were moving around. He readjusted his basket and then turned, walking up the steps towards the old community center building. He hesitated then pushed the door open.

The room was eerie, empty and dark. Weak sunlight filtered through cracks in the roof and William swore he heard something crawling in the walls. He let out a breath and stepped all the way in, his feet creaking through the boards. There was a bizarre looking hut in the corner of the main room, as if someone had built a fort out of bricks and leaves. Huge chunks of the wooden floor were missing, patches of dirt with weeds growing from the dark earth demonstrated neglect and decay. In the right corner a large fish tank with questionably algae-infested water bubbled and burbled, a rotting straw mat in front of it. On the same wall was a broken down chimney, no logs in the fire.

William heard skittering and then turned. To his left he saw a shadow move and nearly jumped out of his skin, his heart racing. Then he narrowed his eyes. Rats? Not big enough. It could be. He wasn't going to run away from a damn mouse, even if there was no way that the green apple-looking creature was any type of rat he'd ever seen. He shouldered the basket of goods and followed the hallway down.

Once, this place had been quite beautiful, he realized. There was a huge kitchen that was covered in cobwebs and dust. He stepped into an empty pantry with a few cans that were undoubtedly full of botulism. He wrinkled his nose and heard the skittering behind him. He turned and saw something running towards the final room. He let out a breath then followed it.

Into some sort of play room? An old school room? There was a ruined set of chairs in one corner, the floor ripped and battered like the rest of the building. He frowned. Because in the middle of the room was a glowing, golden table.

He got closer and put the basket to the side.

Unlike the rest of the room, this didn't have a speck of dust on it and the script was in a language he'd never read before. He reached over to touch the table and realized with amazement that it was solid gold.

He heard the skittering again and looked straight ahead into the blinking eyes of a little apple-looking creature with stringy arms and a leaf for a hat. That disappeared like a ghost.

William knew. KNEW. He wasn't high.

He was sober, damn it.

He rubbed his eyes then neared the wall, touching the wood.

Solid and flaking over in his hand. He blew out a breath.

Then deciding that perhaps, just perhaps, he was in over his head, he scooped up his basket.

Only, where were his horseradishes? He frowned and turned his head, only to see a large and gnarled root of horseradish being dragged around by one of the little creatures.

"Hey!" He snapped, dropping the basket to lunge for the basket.

It squealed and tossed the root. To another of the little apple-monsters with stringy arms that appeared on the other side, snatching the root on it's arms and skittering towards the golden table. He froze and watched as the table glowed when the root touched it...then sank in. He dropped the creature, startled by the clear impossibility that he was witnessing.

Three more of the little beings reached into his basket, jerking out the dandelion leaves he'd gotten the day before, wrapped into individual tea-sachets for Pierre. He frowned. They were digging out more things too...

He frowned. A bundled of leeks were being dragged and finally some of the daffodils that he'd bundled into little 3-blossom nosegays. Each one got dragged to the altar and each one sank into the golden words.

Then. The little creatures cheered and did a small dance. Before melting away. The tabled brightened and a packet of...seeds...lay on the golden surface.

He swallowed and then stepped forward. That weird, hair-raising eyes on him, feeling had dissipated and for some reason, he felt like it was okay to pick up the packet on the table.

It was a bundle of thirty different seeds, all in a little cloth pouch. He frowned and turned them over in his hand. No nursery's stamp on the back. No greenhouse logo to declare where they'd come from like the ones he got from Pierre's shop. He swallowed, then put them in his pocket.

This was...going to require some greater investigation. Definitely.

Sebastian woke up that afternoon and for the first time in weeks DIDNT feel like the world was crashing down around his ears.

As the world didn't want such optimism to exist in his world, it of course threw him for a loop as soon as it was physically able.

He'd just turned on his computer when Maru came banging on his door.

"Sebastian! My computer isn't connecting!"

He groaned but then got up, opening the door. Maru looked stressed and was holding a new text book.

"Every time I turn it on, after like, 3 minutes, it goes all blue. And I NEED to get into my homework program."

Sebastian nodded and walked all the way back to Maru's room. She fretted as she followed him.

Her computer was...old.

He'd tried to get Demetrius to replace it when she graduated high school but he'd bought her a tablet instead. Which was fine, except the mobile pc didn't run the online classes she needed. Plus, it only had so much battery. And games? Forget it. That thing could play Angee Birbz and that was about it.

He cocked his head.

"When was the last time you blew the dust out of this thing, Maru?" He asked, squatting next to the case.

She frowned. "It's not like you can wash it, Sebastian."

He counted backwards from pi and turned it on its side. Chunks of dust peeled off the filter and he shook his head.

"Be right back."

Fifteen minutes later and he had the poor PC opened up and was blowing leaves of dust out off of the fins of the fans, off the heat sinks and squinting. Her boards were old, the overall structure sound but faded. He thought back to when she'd gotten it.

"This was your dad's old work machine, right?"

Maru was perched on a stool, looking over his shoulder. "Yup. When he got that new monster thing in the lab he gave me Trusty here." She leaned back, staying quiet while he worked. He was okay with that. It was sort of nice.

Sebastian started to put it back together, then turned it on.

The hard drive was humming smoothly and the fans came on, so that was a good thing. He waited three whole minutes, watching all her icons appear. It was slow, he decided but that was probably nothing more than a RAM issue.

Just as he was thinking about scavenging RAM from his box of extras, it blue screened. He groaned. He closed his eyes, running the time table. This could take an hour. Better to have some solitude so he could get it figured out.

"Okay, Maru. I've got an extra machine downstairs. Just boot it and do your school stuff. I'll figure out what is screwing you up here."

She nearly wilted in relief. "You are a life saver, Seb."

He was turning it on again, pulling her keyboard into his lap, squinting at the boot menu, ready to tap the keys in time to pull up the BIOS. "There is a black zipped pouch in the bottom drawer of my desk. Grab it and bring it to me, please. "

She zoomed back in a few minutes later, handed him the tool kit and then scooped her books up, stalking towards his room with the determination of someone wanting to sack Rome.

An hour later, some aggravated cursing and ruling out all the cheapest of broken parts, he'd narrowed it down to the Motherboard or the CPU.

He was trying to figure out exactly what dinosaur birthday the motherboard had when Demetrius appeared in Maru's doorway.

"What happened?"

"Not working," he muttered, while trying to carefully untangle the frayed and worn ribbon clip on the board from the main hard drive. It figured that the serial numbers he could look up on the board were faded and in the very back of the machine.

"Obviously. What's wrong with it? It should work fine. I built it."

Well. That explained why everything was cheap and old, he thought cynically.

"It's old, Demetrius," he said but his stomach tightened as Demetrius loomed over his back shoulder.

"Careful," Demetrius chided, staring at him.

His back stiffened, his fingers beginning to shake. What had been a routine, a frustrating bit of problem solving, was now stretching into anxiety. He could hear Demetrius breathing. Could feel his eyes on him like laser beams. Sebastian pulled away from the board before he accidentally shorted something out and turned his head, offering the screwdriver.

"You wanna do this?"

Demetrius scowled and leaned back. "I just wanted to watch."

"Well either you back off and let me work or you do it yourself. I don't come and bump your elbow when you're making plants have sex."

"Sebastian," his voice was rough, warning. "That's my daughter's only computer. I don't need you messing it up. Learn to take a little advice from someone who actually built it."

He pulled his tool kit over and put the screwdriver back in its place.

"You know what? You're right. Your build? Your problem. Have fun." He stood up, stalking out of the room. And if he brushed Demetrius aggressively on the way out? Well. Oops. His bad.

"You always do this, Sebastian," Demetrius sputtered. Sebastian whirled, throwing his arms up.

"What? I always do what, Demetrius?"

"Run away. You can't stand to finish something to the end, can you kid? Just like college. Just like that gridball team you were on in high school."

He clenched his fists, the tools in one hand cutting through the neoprene sleeve. He suspected, deep down, that most people saw failure when they looked at him. How lucky for him that his step-father was such a validating source. He continued to hold Demetrius's gaze, letting him see that his words had hit. Letting him see how they hurt. Finally, Demetrius broke first, scowling at the machine. "Well I'm not going to let Maru down. At least one kid in this house should get a degree." He turned and sat down, fumbling around with big fingers over the board.

And just like that it was over. Sebastian felt like he'd been doused in ice. He wasn't sure if he wanted to break the case over Demetrius's head or go crawl into a ball and not come out for a week, his emotions a war of fury and anxiety. He let out a breath and settled on leaving. Demetrius was always right, even when he wasn't. Fighting him was like swimming against the tide.

Maru's head popped up from his back up PC and cast him a hopeful look, He let out a breath and put the tools down on a side table, sinking onto his couch, hand rubbing his eyes.

"Alright." He wasn't going to lie to her. "The good news is your hard drive is safe. So I can back up and restore any of your data."

She sank in relief then frowned. "The bad news?"

"It's either the motherboard or the CPU. But. Your dad decided to take over, so you know, testing one or the other will have to wait until he decides that he's done his best to fix it."

She groaned and rubbed her temples. "Sorry, Sebastian. I know how he is."

He wanted a cigarette. He shrugged, standing up and putting the tools away.

"It's gonna be okay, Maru. Once he's done, I'll go back in and see what I can try. Still, hope you've got some gold squirrelled away fro-"

Maru's face became stricken.

He cocked his head.

"What?"

"I just spent over 3,500 gold on books, codes and a new telescope."

He winced.

"How much?" she asked. "If I have to replace it?"

He told her.

She groaned.

Sebastian rubbed his forehead then stood up, walking over to his computer. He sat down and waved her over as he began to type. Within a few seconds he pulled up his bank account.

"Alright," he said, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes, "it's like this. If I do this for you…"

"Do what?"

"Fix this computer. If I do this, it's because you and I have a mom that I think is pretty cool. Your dad still sucks."

Maru crossed her arms. "Sebastian, I don't understand."

He opened up the accounts balance. Maru blinked, then pushed her glasses over her head and blinked.

"Holy shit Seb. That...that's…"

"That's a year's worth of savings," he confirmed. "I pay mom and Demetrius rent. I paid them back for that ill-fated semester and I blow a little on my bike every now and then. In another year, I should be able to move out and find a place in ZuZu. But," he looked over at her. "I will dip into it and fix that POS machine for you if you promise not to tell them how close I am to moving out."

Maru sat down. "Seb, if you spend that kind of money…that's going to put you back."

He shrugged. "What's a few more months?"

She bit her lip.

"Only condition? You can't tell them I bought the part."

"What! Why? It's the coolest thing you've ever done for me!"

He groaned. "I don't want everyone knowing my business. Can't you just do that? You can get a working computer. All you have to do is keep quiet on how it got that way."

Maru rubbed her toe on the floor.

"You know Seb," she said, settling back into the chair on the other computer, "you are actually not that bad of a brother."

"Yeah? Don't tell anyone. It'd ruin my reputation."


	18. Chapter 18

The puzzle of the magical building bothered William when he went into town. But, when he opened his mouth to ask Pierre about it, in the bright and clean lights of the general store, he hesitated.

Had he really seen that? It seemed so fantastical.

Still, his count was short for the foraged goods he usually brought in. That was proof in its own way that he wasn't totally crazy.

He pondered the building on his way home, intentionally passing by Jodi's place in case Sebastian was hanging out with Sam there. No dice.

He got home near noon, ate an MRE, then started making more progress against the tree line that was constantly trying to take over his garden. He took his shirt off half way through the task, content to burn through the questions as he broke down trees, cracked branches and collected wood.

Could it have been magic? Was there such a thing as magic?

He finally buried the axe into a stump and began hauling the wood back towards his house. The winters here were bitter and his Pops had instilled a deep respect for the fierceness of the season. The only answer in such an occasion was to prepare and prepare a lot. He was focused on gathering the wood. Focused on the back and forth of wood from tree line to wood pile. It was exhausting.

He told himself it was because he was tired that he didn't notice the man standing on the most recently cleared plot of land.

But there he was, with no warning. One moment the spot had been empty and the next, Bam. Strange fucking weirdass with a black western hat on. He wore a black duster and black slacks and a black shirt. His eyes were fierce and he held a staff.

"Well," he said when William dropped his wood stack and stumbled backwards, panic ripping through his chest, "I didn't expect the old man to actually send someone."

William reached backwards and wrapped his fingers around his hoe. It was worn and not as good as a gun would have been, but it was better than standing half naked in front of a stranger.

"Who the fuck are you and why are you on my property?"

"No need to swear, m'boy," the stranger said, amused. "I am trying to introduce myself. Goodness, the youth of today are impatient."

William gripped his hoe tighter but waited, because after all, Lewis was already cross with him for a public beat down. Appearing at the mayor's house to report that he'd killed an intruder probably wouldn't fix that reputation problem he had.

"I am Rasmodius, wizard of Stardew Valley. At your service."

The self-proclaimed wizard removed his hat and gave a sweeping bow at the introduction. William's jaw dropped and he stared at this strange and mysterious man.

"I wouldn't have bothered you, only I heard the spirits of the forest talking this morning about a new visitor to the old shrines."

"Shrines?"

What was this crazy guy nannering on about?

"Yes! You met the juminos."

William blinked. "Bless you."

Rasmodius slapped himself on the forehead and groaned. "Everyone is a smart ass."

"Yeah well," William snapped back, "Apparently everyone here is a TRESPASSER. Private property, wizard-guy. You can't just bibbity-bobbity-boo out of thin fucking air and expect me to be a calm and accepting motherfucker about shit."

The wizard leaned on his staff.

"Are you done, boy?"

William scowled and pointed his hoe at the wizard. "Call me boy. Call me boy one more fucking time you magical asshole."

Rasmodius shook his head. "Listen, Mr. Stranger. I don't know how you do things, but here in Pelican Town, when someone introduces themselves, it's polite to return the favor."

William narrowed his eyes but then nodded. "Fine then, Rasmodius. I'm William. And you're on my property."

"If you didn't want to play with Magic, Sir William, perhaps you shouldn't have begun your pact with the juminos."

"I didn't make no pact with any JooSneezos!"

Rasmodius looked skywards then rubbed his neck. "Your grandfather never was so obtuse."

WIlliam's body tightened.

"What did you say?"

"I said," Rasmodius said, "Your grandfather was a much smarter person that you are."

"You knew Pops?"

"Yes. I even built him a small memorial after he left us. The Juminos and I were sorry to lose a friend to the land."

William swallowed.

"A shrine?"

Rasmodius muttered something. William thought he heard ' _ignorant kids these days'_ before he turned.

"Come. I'll show you."

William hesitated but then followed the Wizard to the back of the land. It was up against the cliff in an area that he hadn't cleared yet, but it was clear to him that there was a little stone shrine against the wall. William swallowed, feeling his throat tighten up at the little stone relief. His grandfather's face was staring back at him, kind eyes and wrinkled face, just the way he remembered.

There was a small indention where a bowl or cluster of flowers could be placed.

Sudden, burning tears filled his eyes.

He hadn't cried at the funeral.

But here? In the gloaming of a spring night, his body sore from working the land that his grandpa had loved? He was hit with the sudden crash of emotions.

"He was a good man," Rasmodius said softly. "The spirits of the forest mourned his loss the day your parents came and took him."

"He had Alzheimer's Disease," William said, his voice thin as he looked at the portrait of Pop's weathered face. "He wasn't good by himself. Lewis had uh," he coughed and rubbed the moisture from his eyes. "Lewis," he said, clearing his throat, "Said that he would get lost around town, talking to thin air. Asking where Grams was."

"Yes. Age is...age is a terrible thing to endure."

William felt like he had control of himself for now. Later maybe, when he wasn't in front of a total stranger, maybe then he'd be comfortable enough to mourn his Pops properly. Even thought this wasn't the grave that he'd lowered him in a few weeks ago, it was as good a place as any to reconnect with the good times. He took a deep breath and then turned towards Rasmodius.

"So. You know Pops. You also can appear out of nowhere." he narrowed his eyes. "Like a silent, deadly fart of magic."

Rasmodius threw his head back and laughed. "Well. You have a way about you Sir William. Yes. As I was saying, I came by because the spirits of the forest came to me, saying you'd brought them offerings. Tomorrow, come to my tower and I will help you commune with the little spirits."

William frowned but then shrugged. "You know, Wizard," he said, "You could have just sent me a note to swing by."

Rasmodius shrugged. "It was a whim. Besides. It gets lonely in that old tower. And your grandfather had some of the best food in the valley. Good night, Sir William."

William opened his mouth, he wasn't sure what he would have said as thinking before speaking was not a strong suit, but before he could get out a syllable, the wizard had disappear with a high pitched zoom sound, sparks trailing and disappearing from his black cloak.

Sebastian opened the garage door with one hand, the other clutching his helmet. He'd made it through the day without screaming and that deserved a reward.

Maru had been a quiet work companion, finishing her school work with efficiency. He'd checked on her PC after Demetrius had quit for the night and was relieved to see that the man hadn't cracked anything major, but he'd definitely not been gentle when disconnecting the main board from parts.

His mom had come home and when everyone else had started to gather for dinner he'd gotten his helmet and slipped outside.

Spring was a good time of the year to ride and it had been a dry couple of days. He didn't bother telling his family where he was going. If he did go speak with them, he was at risk for actually having a scene with Demetrius in front of his mom and she didn't deserve to come home to that.

His bike purred with the first crank and with a shift of balance, he was off, the trees and mountains of home zooming past him in a blur as he let his bike accelerate, the whine of the engine almost like a shout of joy. Sebastian waiting until he was out of Pelican Town Limits before kicking it in the guts and raced towards his favorite spot.

It was like flying and he adjusted, unable to think of anything but when to brake, when to release the clutch. His body thrummed with the power of the motor between his knees. Once he found his pace, he relaxed and began to cruise.

Riding shifted from that immediate need for speed and the wind to block out his thoughts to a causal and familiar trip to his favorite spot.

It took an hour to get there, an hour of casual cruising, his heart rate evening out as he let the miles roll underneath him. It had been weeks since he'd taken the bike out. He was over due. His mom's house. The town. Everything was closing in on him and he was going to suffocate underneath the weight of it all.

He turned off on a dirt mountain road and made his way up to the isolated cliff that he loved so much.

He pulled up just as the moon was starting to rise in the distance. Sebastian pulled his helmet off and inhaled. Cool spring air rolled up his nose and filled his chest, clearing away some of the rage that he'd been stifling all day.

He stood and stretched out legs that were sore and rolled his head on his shoulder. He put the helmet down and pulled out the package of cigarettes. He checked them and sighed. Four left. He'd have to get more. He pulled one out, lit it and then relaxed as the smoke worked its way through him.

He was going to have to quit. His mom hated that he smoked. Sam never let him do it at his place and Abby had made monkey noises at him the last time he'd been tamping a pack down.

He looked at the glowing cherry then stepped closer to the edge of his favorite spot. In the distance, like a glowing promise, sprawled Zuzu City. The promised land.

He sat down at the edge of the cliff, looking over at it. It made him sad, because now there was at least, by his calculations, another 6-8 weeks added to his potential move out date. He took a drag and ashed the smoke, blowing it out.

Zuzu City.

With the Mirage.

With William.

Who was now in Pelican Town.

He inhaled. For a moment, he felt lightheaded, and he exhaled. Just as the taste of the tobacco lingered on his tongue, he took another hit, focusing on the lights below.

He'd wanted to be apart of that beautiful light show. A place where you could meet a man in a dark club, eyes meeting...hands trailing.

Sebastian closed his eyes, for a moment reliving that first moment. William, all power and focused determination. He leaned back and let himself relax into the grass. He looked up into stars, their bright spots barely hidden by the cloud of smoke that he was puffing out into the cool night. Around him the woods sang a song of cheer and peace. He closed his eyes again, finally letting all that frustration ease out.

He couldn't keep antagonizing Demetrius. He couldn't keep putting his mom through their fights.

And it hadn't been a bad fight, he reflected, as he took another puff on his dying little cigarette. No one had thrown a punch this time. No one had called the other terrible names...other than implying that he was a loser and a suck on resources.

He lit another cigarette when the one he was smoking died.

His mouth taste burnt but he didn't care.

He pushed himself up off of the grass and looked back at the glowing lights of the city. They had always memorized him. The city that had taken his dad and swallowed him up.

He normally shied away from thinking about his dad. It hurt too much. Too many missed birthdays. Too many missed science fairs. His mom's grim face while she revitalized her woodworking hobby into a fullfledged business.

Long hours looking for frogs while she argued with contractors about time frames and proper framing.

Inhale memories.

Exhale pain.

He'd never told his mom that he was looking for his Dad. It would have hurt her too much. And after Demetrius had fallen head over heels, so focused on the beautiful carpenter...well, no one had thought much about him now had they.

He scowled and rubbed his face, pulling at his hair. Then looked up through his fingers at the city.

He'd looked for his dad.

He'd found him.

Sometimes you shouldn't ask questions you weren't ready to have answered.


	19. Chapter 19

It was raining when William woke up the next day and he felt a blend of relief- no more torturous watering of the forever thirsty strawberries- and gloom at the dreary day.

He waited around, gathering laundry. He made the bed. He cleaned his bathroom. Still, the rain poured. He groaned. No getting around it. He put on an old pair of BDU pants that he shoved into a pair of sand colored boots. He pulled his hair into a topknot and rolled his head over his shoulders. The boots were water tight and between the bloused boots, the extra pair of socks and his old BDU jacket, he felt like he'd keep most of the yuck off.

He stepped out into the day and popped his collar up, buttoning the jacket. He was going to the beach. It was too wet to forage for wood and he figured that in this sort of mess, the sea would spit out something worth selling. He shivered and grit his teeth as water began to drip down his neck, soaking the back of his t-shirt. The rain was steady and soft, soaking into everything as it trickled from the grey skies.

He hated it.

It was quiet in the town, the rain keeping people indoors. He wondered about them as he walked on water-slick cobblestones, trying to distract himself. No birds sang in the wet morning. He could see lights shining from behind curtains but those were tucked tightly against the chill. It was dreary and humid, the rain warm and slow.

Eerie. He felt eyes on the back of his neck and let out a breath, looking around. Didn't it bother anyone else about all the weird shit that happened around here?

 _After all, they have magic beasties right up in their community center_ , he thought, avoiding a puddle. _And no one even talks about it?_

How did they function with that sort of bizarre mojo within their city limits?

William crossed the bridge from the town limits to the trail down to the beach, his boots squeaked and the sky cracked with a bit of thunder. He shuddered, the sound too similar to mortars from the field.

He trudged on, determined that he wasn't going to let the storm chase him home. Times like this when he felt like every sounds was a gateway to Flashback Land, the only answer was to exhaust his body to the point of not caring about anything.

He was in luck when he got to the sandy shores. Shells lined the coast, water lapping over the beach, crashing noisily. The sound almost drowned out the hateful rain. He began to scour the beach, the valuable shells that old Willy payed decent gold for plentiful. He started on the far end and knelt, beginning the chore. He picked through a handful of shells and dusted off the biggest one, letting the rain rinse it before chunking it into his bucket.

After the third shell, it was routine. Find a shell, dust off sand. Inspect. Drop into bucket.

Bend. Look. Drop.

Look. Drop.

Drop.

Drop.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

William froze as the hateful grey seeped around him. His heart began to pound and he froze, eyes locked on the sandy shore. The pink shell in his hand bled out color, taking on the greyscale haze from around him.

This wasn't happening. He squeezed his eyes shut but it just made the rain louder, the sounds of the ocean bleeding out of focus. He sucked air through his nose but it didn't help fill his lungs. He puffed then sucked air in again, breathing too fast, too caught up in the sudden onslaught of despair. The waves on the shore crashed and broke, just like the despair he was suddenly consumed with. It made no sense, he tried to tell himself. It was just rain. It was just weather, no different from snow or a breeze. Just weather. He was okay.

He was safe.

He was alive.

When he risked opening his eyes he could see into his bucket, a collection of what should be bright shells. But he couldn't see the color on them, couldn't feel the bucket handle underneath his fingers. His heart slammed and spots began to form over his eyes.

"Will?"

The name broke through the panic. The sound was sharp. A stripe of color that hit like lightening, searing him through. It was enough to crack the haze he was currently trapped in. He snagged onto it like a life line.

He turned and saw Bastian staring at him across the beach, a dark umbrella clutched in his right hand. His black hair was plastered against his head despite the cover, as if he'd been standing out in the storm for a while. His hoodie was wet and he didn't even have the hood up. He wore his skinny jeans bunched around his shoes, which, William noticed, were also black. A sharp, deep black that cut through the greyline of his vision.

"Hey," William said, standing, pulling from long practice of pretending to be normal.

"Didn't expect you to be all the way out here on a day like this," Bastian said, amused. The grim motherfucker was actually smiling. William felt some of the tightness leave his chest at the slash of white teeth.

"Well," he said, shrugging, "Working that hustle, you know? Strawberries wiped out my savings this week and I wanted to make some cash from Willy."

Bastian moved closer and after a second the rain stopped beating on his head.

"Well," he said, looking around, "We're alone. Want me to show you my favorite thing?"

"Sure," William said, that noose of panic easing completely, all the grey fading back out to the normal muted colors from the overcast. "Lead on."

Sebastian felt Will's hand in his own and thrilled at the danger in it. Well, semi-danger. In the entirety of his life in Pelican Town, he'd never known anyone willing to brave the beach when it was raining. His mom had often fretted that he'd fall off the wet boardwalk and drown in the wild ocean, but the frogs had only come out when it was wet. As a kid, that's all he'd wanted was a pet frog, so he'd gotten used to the rain. As he'd gotten older, he appreciated it even more because it was guaranteed solitude.

Yet, as was his normal, Will defied the expectations he had for most people.

"Everyone likes to watch the sea," he told him. Will was squeezing his hand tightly, as if hanging on in the storm. It made his heart race. He rushed his words, "You know, they always come when the sun is out and the sky is blue." He felt his cheeks getting red but was too thrilled to see his reaction to let it fluster him too badly. "But the sea isn't really interesting unless she has a storm to play with."

He slowed when they got to the edge of the boardwalk, the wet boards squeaking as they stood. He gestured out to the rolling waves.

"Behold," he said, smiling over at him, "My favorite sight in this entire backwoods town."

Will leaned over and set the bucket of shells down on the wood then, without a word, pulled Sebastian's back against his chest, squeezing him close as the water crashed against the posts of the dock.

He was…shivering.

"Will?"

"Shhh, just," Will rested his head on his own, demonstrating that once more he was taller than a man had a right to be, "please, let me hold you a while, okay?"

It was so out of character that Sebastian had nothing to say to it. He nodded and then after a moment, reached up to hold onto Wills' forearm, crossed like a band over his own chest. Will's body was still, his fingers firm on his shoulder as he held him, the other hand closed around Sebastian's and then they were holding the umbrella together. In front of them, the waves crashed and played, racing forwards and then peaking into white spray, their colors a myriad of slate, midnight blue capped with bright white froth. He raised his eyes and focused on the clouds, smears of grey and cream that almost blended into the sea right at the edge of the horizon.

"You know," he said, running his hands over the hair on William's arm, "Most people don't like the stormy weather."

"Understandable."

"But to me? It's my favorite type of sky."

William was silent.

Sebastian sank into the quiet, sank into it like a blanket. It covered him up and wrapped him tight, this intimacy. Will, standing like a stone, immobile even against the wind and spray of the ocean. He gave a small chuckle.

"Most people," he said, "Make me anxious. I don't want to talk when they're around." He leaned his head back, rubbing his hair into Will's beard. "But with you? I feel like I can."

Will didn't answer, just flexed the arm. It reassured him. Sebastian went on.

"No one looks out at the sea when she's all crazy and wild with wind and rain. But I think that's when she's the most beautiful."

"No one likes to deal with crazy, Bastian," William said gruffly. "Freaks them out."

Sebastian frowned. They weren't talking about the sea any more. He focused on the horizon.

"Maybe they can't understand it. Can't see its beauty."

"Crazy isn't beautiful, babe."

Sebastian shrugged. "Maybe crazy is just different."

"No, I don't mean quirky. I mean bat-shit, gibbering, life destroying crazy. You don't want to see that, Bastian. No one does. It's not romantic. It's not pretty."

"The sea in the storm is awe-inspiring and something that makes me feel more alive than any other time that I'm breathing," Sebastian murmured, starting to push the arm off. "I thought you'd get that."

Will dropped the arm and Sebastian could finally look at him. And was instantly frightened.

Will's face wasn't its normal quirky smirk. Instead he looked anguished, like he was intensely hurting, his jaw muscles tight and his eyes focused beyond them both, locked on that horizon.

Just like they'd been when he'd talked about his Heroin usage, looking off at something else.

"Will?"

Will shut his eyes then smiled, the motion not meeting those eyes. "Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Liar.

Sebastian hesitated and then, moving on instinct, reached up, tugging on the end of his beard, turning his head down. William moved forward, his free arm snaking around him. Sebastian had offered the kiss as an experiment, but was immediately flooded with that same sparking passion that Will had given him their first night, his body trying to devour him, trying to pull him close, locking onto him like he was drowning and Sebastian was the life preserver.

"Let's go back to my house," Will groaned. "I need you, Bastian, say yes."

Sebastian shivered, the raw ache in Will's voice rocking him down to his toes.

"Will I— "

William's face was locked into someplace far away, his fingers tight on his shoulders. Sebastian swallowed and then, as lightening snapped above his head, nodded.

"Yeah. C'mon, Will. Let's go."


	20. Chapter 20

William wasn't sure if they managed to make it back to his house without being seen, but if they had he'd deal with it on another day.

Sebastian had been quiet, his hand dropping William's as soon as they'd left the privacy of the beach. That wasn't a good sign, but William's starvation for company was so severe at the moment that he figured he'd take what he could get.

William snagged the mail as they got onto the property, three letters, and tucked them under his arm. A few moments later they were in the dark house out of the rain. He squinted around, the dimness only relieved by the banked coals in this fireplace. Before he could offer Sebastian a seat, the lean man had crossed the room and begun prodding the banked coals in William's little hearth to life.

William sank down into the single wooden chair that creaked on his table. Sebastian wasn't speaking or looking at him, and now that they were in the safety of his house William questioned if this had been the best idea. He studied Sebastian. His movements were jerky and he looked entirely too focused on building the fire back up. William decided not to push his luck and instead focused on his boots, unlacing them and taking them off to put to the side. He loosened the legs of his pants, putting the blousing bands on his table next to the mail. He peeled off wet socks and stood up, crossing to hang them on a hook Pops had probably added to the mantle for this exact purpose.

He cast a look sideways at Sebastian and appreciated the way the light played off the angles of his face. His cheeks, his nose…it all was so symmetrical and striking. He looked like he'd stepped out a daydream, all shadowy and mysterious.

Sebastian noticed him looking and blushed.

"What?"

"Nothing," William assured, memorizing the way Sebastian's eyes reflected the flames. Sebastian shifted away, crossing his arms and leaned against the wall. The shadow he cast was long and angular.

"Does this place even have electricity?"

William blinked distracted from his fantasizing. Sebastian was looking around the single room as if he didn't notice William undressing him with his eyes. William coughed and rubbed the back of his neck, firmly kicking his libido in the nuts.

"Uh, not yet. I've got to talk to your mom about helping me expand it."

Sebastian turned and leaned against the opposite wall and for a moment, William tried to see the room from his eyes.

One bed in the right corner, near the door. The fire place on the opposite wall. An old battery-powered 3-inch emergency tv sat on his table. One wooden chair that he was sitting in. Threadbare rug under the bed. A crate half full of MREs. A kettle hanging from a hook on the hearth and a single chipped bowl on the table full of wilting spring flowers.

It wasn't much at all.

"I'd say so. You'd have to wire up some power if you want to have internet after the house expansion," Sebastian turned and pulled his hoodie over his head, the black t-shirt underneath clinging to his pecs. The side of the shirt had a stretch of white fractal lightening that climbed from the hem to stretch over his shoulder. William was entranced. Sebastian was oblivious, hanging the sweatshirt on another one of Pop's hooks so it could dry out.

"I do have hot water," he offered. He nodded towards the fireplace. "Pops set up some type of thermal thing."

Sebastian cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, Mom mentioned something about it. It's connected to the old spa."

"There is a spa in town?"

"Oh yeah, but there was a rockslide last month, so no one in town can get to it through the mountain path. It sucks because the train station is up there too. Joja's people working on the old quarry and it caused a chain reaction. Who knows when they'll get it fixed."

William ticked that as yet another reason to hate his old employer.

They remained silent for another long stretch, the only sound the crackling logs in the fire. William didn't know why he hesitated. Sebastian had asked to go slow, asked for him to be patient, but that kiss at the dock had rocked the color back into his world. Sebastian's lips were a meteor of feeling and warmth in the cold wasteland of his brain. He wanted to feel him again, wanted to get back to that place where they were inside each other. Yet between them was all this…distance.

"What's that?"

Sebastian was looking over at the bundle of mail that he'd dropped on the table. He bit his lip but then turned away, giving Sebastian the space he wanted, giving into the excuse to talk about something else other than finishing what they'd started on the dock.

"Let's see," he said, sitting back in the chair and pulling out his multitool, snapping the knife accessory out with a 'click'. Sebastian came over and stood over his shoulder, his hands resting on his back, rubbing gently. He relaxed as Sebastian's long fingers find tight muscles and stroked them. So this was the way to coax his Bastian into affection? He tried to focus on the letter, letting his relief at the touch show in his body and turned the paper so that the glow of the fire illuminated the text.

"Looks like this one is from Lewis. Apparently there is something called the Flower Dance comin- ow, Bastian, didn't realize you had such a grip."

Sebastian flinched back, throwing his hands up, "Sorry!"

William turned his head and raised a brow.

"You know anything about this Flower Dance?"

Red alert. All hands on deck. Abort this line of questioning….

"Oh, Uh," he replied, fully cognizant of the fact that he was stammering.

Will raised one thick eyebrow, waited, but when all he got was Sebastian's panicked silence, he rolled his eyes then looked back down at the letter from Lewis.

"Mhm. Lewis says that I can join this dance if I can find a partner." He turned back to Sebastian and grinned. "Wanna dance with me?"

Sebastian felt all the color drain from his face before blurting, "I already told Abigail I'd dance with her."

Will smirked then shook his head. "I see. So. No public displays of affection at a public dance, huh?"

"You…" he tried, "You said—"

"Relax Bastian," Will said, turning towards the second letter. "If you don't want to cut a rug with me I'll leave it be. I'd probably step on both of your feet."

Sebastian felt like he could breathe again and rubbed the back of his neck. Will was already moving onto the next letter and frowning.

"Well shit."

"What?"

He scowled, then handed it over and standing up to cross the room, snatching up the kettle and moving towards a sink in his bathroom.

Sebastian stepped closer to the fire and read, " _Dear_ Mr. Bauer _, It has come to the attention of Joja that you are a local grower of produce. Joja prides itself on its relationships with all the members of the community. We invite you to visit our local office and discuss the methods that we could employ to better serve the community of_ Pelican Town. _Our local agent_ Morris _would be more than happy to assist you in joining the Joja Family. – Sincerely yours, Joja Producing Sourcing Department_."

Sebastian looked up as Will put the kettle on a swinging hook and turned it over the fire place.

"Joja wants to buy your produce?"

"It's another method of trying to undercut Pierre," he grumbled, "damn company tries to take over everything it touches. Sebastian handed the letter back to him and he tossed it in the fire, scowling into the flames.

Will's face was pensive as he watched the paper blacken and curl. Shadows danced over the room and his gruff farmer looked less like a peaceable man who grew strawberries and more like the warrior he'd once been. Sebastian reached a hand out, placing it on his shoulder.

Will turned his head and again, those blue eyes were searching, hoping for something. It warmed him faster than the fire did.

"You know," Sebastian said, "Just because I'm not ready to dance with you in front of other people doesn't mean that I won't be one day."

Will's smile softened his entire face. His reached for him then and Sebastian went to him, eager for the embrace, eager for the following kiss and quiet sighs.

Will turned and then pulled Sebastian to straddle his lap, sitting at the end of his bed. His hands roamed over Sebastian's chest and then slid around, pulling his t-shirt out of his jeans. Sebastian gasped as Will began to trail kisses up his neck and to his ear, his hands like hot brands over his back and hips. Will didn't push things, moving with deliberate and self-restrained heat. Sebastian began to get lost in the soothing ritual of kissing and touching, their motions fanning the flames of his arousal, the build slow and steady. He was considering pulling Will's shirt off when he heard a hiss and sizzle.

"Your kettle," he managed to warn as he saw the top of the spout bubble with water. Will let out a small curse then shifted Sebastian to the side and rose, chest heaving. Sebastian felt a thrill. He'd been the one to do that. He'd been the one to cause someone as strong and intimidating as William Bauer to have a shaking hand as he pulled the kettle off the flames.

"Tea?" He asked, his voice gruff.

Sebastian's body thrummed as he watched him. Will turned his head towards him and their eyes met. The slow building heat flared as they met gazes and in the fire born shadows with the rain pounding on the roof, Sebastian wondered if he'd ever seen something so world rocking. Will didn't speak as he crossed the distance between them and Sebastian didn't want him to. They came together again, this time harder, meeting as a tangle lips and limbs.

Will's hands were in his hair and Sebastian felt himself pinned down on the bed, felt his belt loosen and heard the buckle fall back with a jingle, and they both groaned as Will dipped his hand into his pants.

"You're already hard for me Bastion?" he sounded like he was amazed. Sebastian turned his face away chagrined but then Will stroked him and he bowed his back up at the motion.

"You're enjoying my mortification," he mumbled before biting back another embarrassing moan

"Why is it," Will rasped in his ear, "that when you look at me, all of the grey in my life just drains away?"

Sebastian turned his face and caught Will's lips, fingers intertwining in his top knot, and pulled the elastic band free. Soft hair fell down like a curtain. He met Will's eyes, knowing he must look desperate and foolish but unable to stop himself from speaking.

"It seems only fair, considering how you've taken my world and turned it upside down." Then, with more bravado than he felt, he pulled off Will's shirt and surged up to meet his chest with his own, digging his fingers into Will's bare back.

Will groaned and leaned so that Sebastian had room to explore. He barked out a gasp as Sebastian sank his teeth into Will's collarbone, marking the spot over the flying eagle with his bite. Sebastian grinned and their foreplay became rougher, Will's clothes joining his own on the floor. He was on his back with Will tickling him. Then, a hip shift later, Will was on his back cackling in sexy abandon as Sebastian tickled him back. The wrestling became more than a game as they began to shift grips, and then, he was kissing Will again, the movements hungry and desperate. Will threw an arm to the side and fumbled with the drawer next to his bed. Sebastian heard the bottle of oil was open with a snap.

Sebastian clung to Will's shoulders as he felt Will's thumbs spread him, gasping out the pleasure/pain of the invasion. There was a foil wrapper and Will's whispered, "Are you ready? You feel ready, babe…let me in…."And then they were together, and Will had him, arms locked, lips and hands and breaths mingled and the ride was more exhilarating than the last time they were together.

It was fast this time, fast as they both scrambled for purchase, mussing the previously tight sheets. Will's aggressive thrust made Sebastian cry out, his voice thready and airy as Will's powerful thighs flexed with purpose.

The bed creaked as they chased each other to completion. At one point, he was sure he was digging his fingers into the tight muscles of Will's ass, Will's fist pumping him with every plunge.

He knew he came first, felt his balls tighten and before he could warn Will of the oncoming explosion, it was too late. He panted, wide eyed and stared up, locked on Will's face. Will smirked, a victorious, before he locked both hands on Sebastian's hips and pistoned. Sebastian arched and gripped Will's wrists, clinging on for dear life as Will pounded him. He groaned and then, Will's body tightened, his face straining.

And just like that it was over. Will lost his tension and shifted, holding himself up by his arms as he gasped and cried, his body shuddering.

He was crying, Sebastian realized, shocked. Instinctively he reached up, pulling Will down, cradling him against his leaner frame.

Will clung, too tight, a little too hot, his body racked with spasms and shudders.

"Shhhh," he whispered into the shadows of the room. "Shh, Will. Will, you're okay. It's okay."

Will nodded, gasping and sobbing into his shoulder, as if he'd held back for so long that he had nothing left to pull from. Sebastian weathered the storm, holding still and taking shallow breaths as Will's grip gradually loosened, his breathing going from hitched hiccups to smoother inhales.

Despite their closeness, he was starting to get cold. Sebastian shifted them, coaxing the big man inch by inch until he could get them under the blankets. Will reached down between them and he felt the latex brush his leg before Will gave it a twist and tossed it into a can near the bed. Then they were a burrito of blankets and limbs. Will's breathing was calming more and more and soon Sebastian had Will's head nestled on his shoulder, his arm protectively covering his neck.

Sebastian was starting to doze off when Will's rasping voice, gruff and deep pulled him back to alertness.

"Sorry."

"Why?"

"Freaked you out. Acted…crazy."

"You're not crazy. It was just intense."

More silence. Sebastian wondered if Will was falling asleep and started to close his eyes.

"It's never that intense with anyone else, Bastian. Not even with…" he swallowed, "…well, not with anyone."

Sebastian's mind seized upon the slip and stored it away for later. "Then I've been having the wrong kind of sex until now."

Will snorted then snuggled him closer.

"Any sex with you is the right kind of sex, Bastian."

"There you go," Sebastian said, fingers trailing through his hair, "saying ridiculous greeting card mottos."

Will propped up on an elbow with a quirked brow. "What sort of cards have you been getting? Hmm?"

Sebastian shook his head and pulled him back down.

"Stay still and let me nap, you giant mountain man. I'm exhausted."

"Oh," Will said, not sounding apologetic at all, "I'm sorry. Did I do that?"

"Shut up."

"Only because you asked nicely, Bastian."

Sebastian closed his eyes lulled to sleep by rain and the crackling of the logs on Will's fire.

Will didn't sleep while Sebastian napped. In fact, he didn't know if he was capable of something as soothing and normal as sleep as he replayed his breakdown. It made no sense. Sex had always been a release and then a shift of pain to euphoria. He'd never felt like he was breaking apart. He'd never just exploded on someone like that…been so out of control

He waited until Sebastian was giving small snores before slipping out of his bed, shifting the blankets to make up for his lack of warmth. Sebastian didn't stir and he was satisfied that he'd be okay for a bit.

He pulled on his shorts, pulled his BDU pants and crossed over to the table. He felt raw. Sebastian had thought the storm across the sea was beautiful, had admired the way the lightning danced with the waves.

But he'd never been drowned by the waves that came from the overwhelming wind. He'd never been electrocuted. He picked up the last letter that he hadn't wanted Sebastian to pay attention and stepped over to the fire.

He skimmed the envelope. His lips tightened as he felt the fine paper, saw the beautiful handwriting. He looked at name on top of the return address.

Cameron Baker.

He closed his eyes and then, with a toss of his hand, let the fire eat it, unopened.


	21. Chapter 21

Sebastian woke up alone in Will's bed. He blinked into the shadowed room. The fire that they'd built up had begun to die, and he shivered as the cold creeped in. Pulling the blankets around himself he sat up. He cocked his head to the side and heard the shower from Will's tiny bathroom, its steady water pulse a different frequency from the rain beating on the roof. He took the moment of privacy to stand up and stretch before locating his discarded clothes.

Will emerged just as he was checking his hoodie for dryness. Sebastian felt his mouth go dry. Will stood in the bathroom doorframe, a towel tucked low on his hips, muscles and tattoos on display. There was a pattern of spent bullet shells that went down his left side, their shells outlined in grey and black lines.

"Hey," Will said, rubbing his head with the other towel. "You heading out?"

"Yeah," Sebastian said, hurriedly pulling the hooding on and keeping his body turned to the side to hide any residual arousal that had inconveniently made itself known by seeing Will again.

"Need me to walk you back?"

Sebastian snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. I go home alone all the time. My family is used to me wandering around on rainy days."

He checked his pockets and found his packet of cigarettes. He'd bought a fresh pack on his way down to the beach and the craving hit him like a whip. He held out the pack and shook it in an offering to share with Will.

Will nodded then tossed his head towards the doorway.

"Porch should be pretty dry," he said, just as he dropped the towel next to his table, squatting to pull a crate out that had tightly folded clothes in it.

Sebastian sucked in a breath at the ass that towel revealed.

"Hmmmm…."he said, unable to help the appreciation.

Will looked over his shoulder and the asshole was smirking.

"Why," he said, waggling thick eyebrows at him, "are you ogling me?"

"I'll be outside," he muttered, feeling exposed at how easily Will could play him. He'd done it on purpose, damn it. Sebastian felt his face flood with color and he turned away, quickly shot towards the door. William's laugh chased him.

He stepped underneath the shelter of the porch and with a few movements lit a cigarette, the soothing nicotine giving him a buzz of relaxation. He squatted on the bare porch, his back against the house as he smoked. He couldn't see very far in front of him, but based on the shadows that the house was throwing out, it looked as though Will had created a clear pathway from the his place to the northern path that he would take to go home. That would make the hike home that much easier.

Halfway through his cigarette, William stepped out, faded jeans and no shirt. He scowled at him.

"Will," he chided, "It's raining. You're going to be cold."

Will popped a squat next him and produced a flat plate to use as an ashtray. Just as Sebastian took it, he swooped in for a surprise kiss, laying a noisy smack on his cheek. Sebastian about fell over and Will grinned, triumphant. "I know how to fix cold, Bastian." He sat too close for anyone who might come by to think they were just a couple of buddies sharing a smoke. Sebastian glanced over at the entrance to the farm but the little dirt road was empty. He sighed and then pulled a cig out, handing it over. Will lit it with Sebastian's lighter and then threw an arm around him. And like that they were snuggled up on the porch, backs to the house with the rain a curtain against the world, smoke flaring out of their mouths and noses. He began to relax. Maybe, just maybe this wasn't so bad.

"So," Will ventured, "this Flower Dance thing. Tell me about it."

Sebastian tapped ash onto the plate, scowling. "Ugh, it's the worst festival of the year. But Pelican Town is a bunch of dirty traditionalists."

Will made a smoke ring and Sebastian raised an eyebrow, impressed. "Go on," Will urged. He ashed his own cigarette.

Sebastian lit another off of his current then rubbed it out against their ashtray.

"So apparently a long time ago, there was a forest spirt."

"Wait," Will interrupted, "you mean like magic?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I guess. You wanna hear the story or not?"

Will waved his fingers in a 'go on' gesture, the red cherry glowing against the dimness.

Sebastian pensively stared out into the woods. "So this spirit guy, he falls in love with a human girl. And one day he lures this girl that he fell for out into the woods and dances for her. That year, the flowers bloomed so big and so plentifully that the village was able to sell more than ever. Some people even had huge cauliflowers that were as big as people."

William grunted in disbelief and Sebastian raised and dropped a shoulder. He took a drag and exhaled. "It brought prosperity and wealth to the town. The next year, the girl went out to meet the spirit and they danced again. Another bumper crop."

"Huh," Will said, his fingers beginning to rub gentle and unconscious circles against Sebastian's shoulder.

"Anyway," Sebastian continued, "One day the girl died and the prosperity ends. No more big flowers and no big bumper crops. So in remembrance to those dances that she used to preform with the spirit, her friends and neighbors started to go out on her day and dance for the forest. Apparently it worked. Since then the village has been making their young people do it forever and ever after."

Will cocked his head. "That's a pretty cool story, Bastian. So why do you hate it so much?"

"Because it's bullshit," Sebastian groused. "There are no such thing as spirits and they certainly don't care about a bunch of kids dancing weird dances in the woods."

"I dunno. Yoba created the world from a seed. He cared about growing things."

"Yoba is a myth people created to feel better about things," Sebastian said.

"Maybe." After a moment, William looked into the distance. "You sure you don't want to dance with me tomorrow?"

"Honestly, Will, I don't want to dance with anyone. But if I don't dance, then Mom will be upset and I'll have to hear about it for, oh, 100 years. So I'll go but I won't be happy about it."

"You could be happy if you danced with me…." Will offered.

Sebastian looked down, tense. "Don't push me on it, okay? I'm… I'm not ready for us to be public."

Will leaned his head back and sighed. Sebastian felt irritation flare, "You said you were willing to try things my way! It's only been a couple of weeks, Will."

Will nodded, "Yeah. A couple of weeks of stolen moments and cataclysmic sex when you relax enough to be with me." He scowled. "I don't think people would freak out about you being gay as much as you think they would."

Sebastian shrugged out from under his arm and ground out the dying butt into the ashtray. "I'm not going to have another fight with you after you fucked me sideways," he said, keeping his voice cool.

Will opened and closed his fists , banging his head softly against the wall. He puffed out a flare of smoke from his nose, looking for all the world like a frustrated bull. "Fine," he said after a third and final bang. "Fine. We don't fight." He stood, putting the plate to the side.

"Just act cool tomorrow," Sebastian suggested, "me and you and Abby and Sam, we can go hang out somewhere after. Somewhere private, okay?"

Will opened his arms and Sebastian accepted, feeling like, maybe he'd actually won this time. Will's chest was warm, the skin hot to the touch, the skin smoothed. He had to shave himself, he decided. He could hear a deep echo in his chest as he spoke.

"Fine. But I won't like watching you with Abby. Makes me jealous."

Sebastian leaned back, giving him an incredulous look, "You cannot be serious."

But Will was glaring, clearly very serious. Sebastian ducked his head and let him go, pulling up his hood.

"Right," he muttered, "Well, you'll see. It's not a big deal. See you tomorrow."

Will grunted, which was just so mature. Sebastian didn't look back as he made his way home, but he could feel Will's eyes on his back until he left the property.

It was sunny and bright when William stepped out the next morning. Ingrid ran out between his legs as soon as the door opened, eager to meet the day. William wasn't as enthused. Straight dances had been the bane of his childhood school days. He'd taken scores of family friends to events and finally, out of frustration after a particularly bad experience had asked out his date's brother.

He'd never looked back.

His military career hadn't eased the pressure of formal occasions. If anything it made him hate them more. Still, he was going to the shindig, if nothing else than to trade barbs with Abigail as Sebastian wore his beard out in front of the fellow citizens of Pelican Town. He finished watering the forever thirsty berries and checked the soil, weeding here and there. Then he went and showered, pulled out his dress Blues from underneath his bed and got to work.

He groomed and shaved the sides of his head, pinning his hair into a proper top knot that would be hidden underneath his hat. With the hat on he looked a bit more clean cut, his faded sides mimicking the high and tight he's kept up while on active duty. His beard was against regulation-couldn't get a good seal on a gas mask with that giant bush- but his days of gas masks and war zones were over and the whiskers did their job of projecting power and wisdom. They also did a damn fine job of hiding the shrapnel scars that he couldn't tattoo over.

He brushed and pressed the uniform, his iron an old metal paperweight that he's heated through on the hearth. After he was pleased, he spit shined his dress shoes and cleaned up his house. Once he had procrastinated to the last minute he gave up putting off the inevitable and dressed.

The walk to the western field past Cindersap's big branches took him almost an hour, but the weather was remarkably good with very little humidity, despite the recent rain. Strange that, he puzzled. He stored it away for examination on a later date. He still had to go meet up with that trespassing wizard at some point and figure out the word things going on in this place. The dance had a legend steeped in mysticism and magic after all. Maybe he's learn something important to the overall scheme of how things worked.

When he crossed the makeshift bridge into the field he was surprised to see such a turnout. Like the egg festival, this party was packed. There was a big clearing in the middle and the townsfolk all were scattered out around it, chatting and catching up.

"Bill!"

He turned his head and saw Jodi waving. She looked radiant in a flower print dress, her eyes sparkling. "Bill, I'm so glad you came! There is someone I want to introduce you to!"

William smiled and nodded, stepping up closer so she didn't have to shout across the field. A few people had turned their heads but went back to conversations. He didn't see Sebastian or Robin around. Demetrius and Maru weren't there yet either. He shrugged. It wasn't like Sebastian was going to want to spend time with him at a thing like this anyway.

Which was fucking annoying considering he's practically shattered into a million pieces the day before all because of being with the fucker. So totally unfair.

Jodi grabbed his hand and beamed.

"I've been thinking about our talks over the last couple of weeks," she explained. "And I had a wonderful solution!"

"You're keeping me in the dark here, Jodi," he said, "What's this big introduction?"

She led him over to a man he's seen in passing at the bar and at the egg festival. Both times he's been too focused on Sebastian to pay much attention but as they neared he couldn't help but wonder which Mediterranean coastline he'd popped up from. His hair was luxuriously long. It was a waterfall of golden brown silk and framed his face in effeminate waves. He wore a long formal blue coat and dressed with more care than any straight man William had ever known.

"Elliott," Jodi greeted, "This is the new farmer that I was telling you about."

Jodi looked left and right then dropped her voice so that only the two men could hear her, "Elliott is ALSO gay Bill." She leaned back, proud of herself for her introduction.

Bill raised an eyebrow at the words. Jodi beamed, proud.

Elliott, to his credit, mostly looked amused by the statement and for a moment, they shared a look of understanding.

 _Straight women._

William decided that he might as well welcome the attempt at friendship regardless of Jodi's intentions towards matchmaking. He stretched out a hand.

"Hi. People around here call me Bill."

"An honor to finally meet the new farmer that everyone has been talking about." Elliott said, trading grips, his voice elegant and tinged with a proper accent that was a blend of upper crust and art amusement. His fingers were soft and gentle.

Jodi clasped her hands under her chin and said, "You two should partner for the Flower Dance, Elliott! I'm sure that it would be a relief to finally have the opportunity to be yourself."

William's eyebrows shot up in amazement at the audacity of the suggestion. He knew he loved fast hook ups when he was single, but he'd never in his life had a friend shove him towards another man and practically hiss "now kiss" as they did so.

Elliott laughed, "We'll consider it Jodi. I think I see Caroline looking for you though."

Jodi flushed. "Well, that's just great! I can't wait to see you two be perfect during the ceremonial dance!"

William nodded slowly, not trusting himself to speak. He wasn't convinced that Jodi had been broken in enough as a friend to survive exactly what he thought of her highhanded initiative…but if she remained in front of him for much longer he might be out a laundress and a weekly cup of coffee.

Elliott diplomatically let him her get out of earshot before looking back at him.

As if connected by a psychic wavelength both men blurted out at the same time,

"Please take no offense—"

"No offense, dude—"

" _But you're not my type."_

The both froze at the mutual realization then chuckled. Elliott rubbed the back of his neck, shifting the hits on his head into careless waves. William just smirked.

"Don't get me wrong, man," William said, giving him a once over one more time, "You're a good looking guy but I uh, am already seeing someone."

Elliott's eyebrows climbed. "I see. Well, I AM single but, as appealing as a man in uniform is, I have taken a vow of celibacy until I finish the first chapter of my novel."

"Just the first chapter?"

Elliott scowled into his cup. "You jest, but I promise, it's been harder than I expected."

Will shrugged, waving a hand. "No pressure," He turned his head and the laughter died in his throat.

Because Sebastian was coming down the path with his family and wore a blue suit that made him resemble a costumed cat. Just as he was debating what he should do, (hide? Stare? Ignore him?) Abigail made a beeline and threw her arms around Sebastian's arm, her face shining with some secret smile or joke that she couldn't wait to share. His chest hurt at the touch, his fists clenched and he narrowed his eyes.

Because Sebastian had wrapped an arm over her waist and was following where she was leading.

"Elliott," William said, "in the name of helping a guy out, how would you feel about playing a small…game?"

Elliott followed his gaze and then, in a pleasant voice replied, "Why, I do so adore a good folly. Please, dear sir. Do. Tell."


	22. Chapter 22

Sebastian felt strangled in the ridiculous blue suit that his mom had pulled out of storage. He hated every aspect of the tight shirt and slightly too small jacket that he'd been wearing since he graduated from high school. But it was traditional. And Maru was stuck in the white spring dress so he didn't want to whine about it. At least he got pants.

He trailed behind his family as they headed out towards the field. Maru was walking between his mom and Demetrius and he couldn't help but wistfully think of how good they looked as a family. Maru had inherited a lighter brown complexion from her dad and her hair resembled a burst of burnt red curls reminiscent of his mom's bright red waves. He didn't fit into their happy picture at all. Unlike them, he was a remainder of previous mistakes. Too pale and disconnected. He kicked a rock out of the way as he sank into the depressed rut. As if she could feel him thinking about her, Robin turned her head and smiled.

"Sebby, we were just talking about the egg festival a couple of weeks ago. I don't know if I've ever seen Abigail lose the egg hunt. Those kids are getting good!"

Sure, he thought, the kids and their big, hairy, egg-daddy who had secured victory. No one had noticed William slipping eggs into their baskets and the little ankle biters hadn't narced on him yet.

Demetrius smirked. "She might need some comforting at the dance, Seb. Maybe you could see if she wants to come have dinner tonight?"

Sebastian looked at the ground, focusing on his steps. He shrugged.

"Maybe. Maru, you going to invite Doc Harvey?"

Her cheeks colored at that, eyes shooting over to her dad who frowned.

"Haha! Sebastian you joker. Hey! I think I see Penny, be back!" She turned and raced forward towards the bridge.

Demetrius frowned. "Doctor Harvey is too old for Maru."

Robin rested a hand on Demetrius's arm lightly, "Oh Demetrius. You know Sebby was just kidding."

Like an angel of social mercy, Abigail appeared out of thin air, snagging his arm as soon as she saw him.

"Sebastian! Hey!"

Sebastian took the lifeline, wrapping an arm over her waist. She grinned at his mom and step-dad. "Sam just got us punch. I think Pam's already spiked it." Before they could drag him back into the conversation, Sebastian spotted Sam and turned. "Bye guys."

They escaped, Abigail's head bobbing with her hidden giggles. Sebastian relaxed, seeing that Sam had ALSO been put in the ridiculous suit. As soon as it was safe, away from his family, he let go of Abigail. Sam handed him a glass of punch and Sebastian took a long swallow. Good ole' Pam had infused the too-sweet fruit beverage with the brace of a strong spirit- probably vodka or whiskey.

"Jeez I hate this holiday."

Abigail rolled her eyes. "You hate all the holidays, Seb."

"Not All Hallows' Night." He protested.

"Remember the year he managed to win the golden pumpkin?" Sam said.

Abby crossed her arms, the white dress that she wore crinkling and bunching. "Okay, fair. So," She skimmed her eyes over the field, "there is your boyfriend over there, hanging out with Elliott. You going to let him dance with you today? Finally come out to the world?"

Sebastian swallowed down the panic that the question brought up.

"You know I couldn't leave you out to sit on the sidelines, Abby," he said, trying to keep his tone light. "If I don't dance with you, who will?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, Sebastian knew he'd fucked up. Sam stiffened next to him, eyes cutting at him before shoving his hands into his pockets. Abby grew still then said, voice soft, "Oh." She was blushing. Shit.

"Besides," Sebastian said, trying to keep his voice light, "No one really knows Will. It's not like he'll have a part-" just as he was speaking the words he glanced over at Will. He was wearing the Ferngill Army dress uniform, blue and gold trim over his arms. The sight of him in the official uniform was like a shot of sex to his brain. Will's usual look was scruffy and unkempt. But now the shaved sides of his head looked neat, his hair hidden underneath the sharp cover of his hat. His broad chest was covered with tightly ironed folds...and his medals. He had several really shiny ones.

But the most alarming thing about seeing William was that he was touching Elliott's back.

It was a shock to the system to see him this way, all properly cleaned up, his beard shaped and was leaning forward with a conspiratorial and intimate look. It wasn't casual. It was too reminiscent of the men he'd seen huddled together months ago at the Mirage bar. William was smirking that sexy smirk he always had when he'd said something inappropriate and scandalizing. Elliott threw his head back, letting out a laugh so loud that Sebastian could see other people noticing and then he reached over and tugged on the end of William's beard, his tough light and flirty.

Rage roiled through his chest like a fiery ball of pain.

"What the hell," he hissed.

"What man," Sam said, his tone mild, "Didn't you know that Elliott was gay?"

William was very satisfied with his antics when he saw Sebastian lose the bored and petulant stare that he wore like a mask. Now, the man was looking at him with absolute fury. He smirked at Elliott and took the other man's hand…mostly because having his beard tugged on was irritating.

"Alright, I think that pretty much got the effect I was looking for," he said, tone casual. Then raised a brow because Elliott hadn't let go of his hand.

"You know," Elliot said, "This is the most interesting thing I've been a part of since I moved to this Podunk nowhere armpit of a town. If you want, I would be willing to push the fiction a bit farther."

William raised an eyebrow and noted that Elliott was serious.

"Well," he said, glancing over to see that Sebastian was, amazingly enough, still glaring over at them, "I don't want to draw you into anything you didn't sign up for," he said, smoothing out his face. No need for Sebastian to guess what they were talking about over here.

"It's what Jodi said earlier," Elliott said, finally dropping William's hand. "About being ourselves."

William snorted. "Sorry dude, because I know you just met me and all, but I am ALWAYS myself."

Elliott shrugged. "Same. Just, it would be nice to have someone attractive to cut the rug with, as it were. Last year, Leah took pity on me, but I think that she has been hoping to get a break this year."

William could see that Sebastian wasn't looking anymore and instead was focusing on something, stupid probably, that Abigail was saying.

"I'm not that great of a dancer," he said.

"The country dance here isn't anything to write home about, just between the two of us. A lot of bouncing and swinging. Very much a line-style dance."

William weighed it out.

He'd wanted Sebastian to see him flirting. Nothing serious, just something to try and point out to the dense little twink that, maybe, just perhaps, he wasn't the only tail in town like he thought. That maybe, William, was someone he'd have to actually pay attention to instead of to visit in the secret of night and then moodily stomp away from after crushing a man's heart while it still beat inside his chest.

Whoa.

That was an unexpected anger.

It was probably a bad idea, he realized as he looked at Elliott's eyes. The man was of a height with him, if by nothing more than the volume in his luxurious hair. It would be wrong to use him. Wrong to play stupid high school games with a guy like Sebastian, who was- currently walking over to the center of the field with an arm around Abigail's waist, his fingers curled around her hip as though he didn't care who saw them touching.

"Let's do it," he said, eyes locked on that hand. "Let's give them something to talk about."

Sebastian wanted to die.

Scratch that. He wanted to disappear and THEN die so that no one would look at his corpse and all the embarrassing shades that it was turning as he watched Elliott hold Will's hand in public as if such things were normal and to be celebrated.

"What the fuck is that guy doing?" Abigail hissed.

Sam shrugged. "Just because Sebastian is in the closet doesn't mean he has to be."

He drank more of the spiked punch and debated just leaving. No one could really stop him, he realized. He'd been all about getting this day over with but if he had to watch William flirt with another freaking man in front of him, he'd rather just go home and brick his room up. He imagined how his skeleton would look coiled over the keyboard and the macabre image appealed to his fatalistic nature.

"This is bullshit," Abby said, plucking the cup out of Sebastian's hand. "C'mon Sebastian. We're going to go stake out a spot."

"We're going to what?" Sebastian asked, eyes wide as Abby locked her hand onto his wrist.

"You're going to what?" Sam choked, nearly spilling his own punch on his white shirt. He took the glass that Abby shoved into his free hand and held both of them back from his suit as they sloshed.

"He is trying to make you jealous, dumbass," she said, rolling her eyes. "We are going to fight back." She shot a hateful look over at Will. "No one tries to make a fool out of my friends."

Sam's mouth was open, no sound emerging. He coughed then turned his head, smiling now, like it was all a game. Sebastian could see his fingers were tight around the little glass cups, the whites clear on his nails. And even though he sounded amused, Sebastian was tuned to his friend, tuned to his anger at the current events. Abigail was oblivious, her gaze locked on Will and Elliott. If he went along with this...would it piss off Sam?

He didn't have a chance to decide though because Abby was hauling him towards the middle of the meadow. He swallowed then straightened his back and stepped up, snaking an arm around her waist, gripping her hip as he did. In for 1 gold, in for 1000.

"So," she said, her voice eager, "Here's the plan. We are Together. We are in Lurve, with all that sparkly shit. No one will think you care at all and then where is he? Out and not your problem."

Sebastian nodded, focusing on the top of her head. He couldn't look into her face without potentially blowing the whole charade.

"Hey, I know," she said, waving over at Hailey, "we get Hailey to take our picture for the town yearbook."

Alarm rose in his throat. He'd, to this point in his life, avoided getting any pictures shot of the two of them enduring this ridiculous dancing holiday. Yet, he glanced sideways and saw that Will, the traitorous bitch, had an arm linked in with Elliott's. And how fucking dare he, honestly. They'd been together YESTERDAY and he couldn't keep his hands off someone else? He at least had and excuse. Abby didn't mean anything to him beyond a childhood friend. Yet somehow, like always, Will was ignoring the rules and doing what he wanted.

Well. There were consequences.

Sebastian straightened his spine. No. He wasn't going to let him see that he was affected. If he wanted to play boyfriend chicken, then he better get ready to back down.

"That's the spirit," Abigail said in a whisper. "We townies don't just roll over because a city boy pushes."

He took in a deep breath and then looked down at her, really focusing on her face. Abigail had a good face, as girls went. Her eyes looked bigger somehow and she's smeared shadow around the outsides in an artistic manner. Abby had always been skilled with makeup, he reflected. When their band had gigs she'd made sure to do the costumes and make up for them, always helping him with the delicate streaks of black.

 _Black eyeliner that had stained William's pillow case months ago._

He pushed away the thought and tried to objectively examine Abigail, to try and understand Sam's attraction. Her hair was pulled back and she had wore a thick cluster of flowers clustered at her ear. She wore the traditional white dress and for an instant, didn't look a thing like his best friend. Maybe there was something to this whole legend and its symbolic link to that magical couple of yore.

"Is he watching us?" He asked, feeling nervous while holding onto her side. He had never dared to take the farce this far, too concerned about dealing with his mom's reaction to the change in their friendship status. Too worried about how people would talk. He skimmed his gaze around the circle. Oh yeah, people were noticing. Haley skipped over to where they stood, a camera around her neck.

"Abigail! You're dress look so pretty this year! Are those fresh flowers?"

Hailey wore a crown of the stupid plants, her blonde hair falling in artful tresses. He wondered how long the entire mess had taken her to construct and if she'd ever get all the pollen out before she went to bed. And what if there had been bugs in the leaves?

"Oh yeah! Dad is selling big tubs of them over at the front of the meadow," Abigail said, smiling back. She looked at the camera and then leaned into Sebastian. "Say, you think you could get some pictures of us this year?"

Hailey's face lit up and she pulled the camera to her eye.

"Oh my gosh, of course!"

Sebastian's stomach dropped as the lens focused on them. He glanced over again, trying to see if William was furious yet. To see if his own games had the effect he wanted.

William wasn't looking at him at all. Instead he was in serious discussion with Elliott, a big meaty hand on the more delicate man's shoulder. He never hated someone as intensely as he hated Elliott in that moment. Hated his poise, his beautiful hair and his handsome face.

Hated that William, _his Will_ , was looking at him with concern.

"Want to strike a pose for the camera?"

He narrowed his eyes, the image of William's hand on Elliott's shoulder scorched into his brain.

It hurt. It hurt to see him that way. And all he wanted was to hurt him back.

"Sure," he said, smoothly, his hands sliding up Abigail's shoulders. She frowned and then looked up, brows knit. William was looking now. As if he could sense the movement in his periphery. He took in what he saw and scowled.

Good.

Sebastian met his eyes and for a moment they were in perfect sync, as if they were standing next to one another, body language as clear as spoken words.

 _Don't you fucking dare_. William warned.

 _Fuck you, I don't do what you tell me._

And then he leaned down and pressed his lips against Abigail's just as Hailey's camera bulb went off.


	23. Chapter 23

William wasn't sure how he kept it together.

After Sebastian's little lip locking stunt, Abigail had stepped back, eyes wide. And then his mom and step dad had come up, giving small cheers, Robin hugging Abigail around the shoulder, Demetrius giving Sebastian 'atta boy' slaps on the back.

He wasn't sure how he'd kept it together.

But he had.

He'd managed, through discipline he didn't know he'd possessed, to get through the ridiculous dancing festival without punching Sebastian in his stupid, lying, cheating face.

The Kiss. The freaking Kiss.

William had thought the flirting was a petty game.

He'd been wrong. It had been a pin less grenade that they'd been tossing back and forth between them.

And Sebastian had dropped it.

Elliott had been a decent guy through the whole affair, whispering steps to him as he marched through the dance in a rage haze.

Sebastian'd actually gone there. He'd actually fucking done it.

And William wasn't going to give him any fucking slack on this.

The music stopped. The dancing ended. The people separated and he waited, waving Elliott on.

"I don't live far, man," Elliott had said. "Come see me at my beach sometime."

"Thanks." William said.

Then he turned towards the trio. Abigail was giggling at something, probably still thinking that the game was on. Sam hung back, not daring to meet his eyes. Sebastian had his arms crossed, that stupid lock of hair over his stupid face. William knew his face was stormy. He knew his body language was too aggressive. But Sebastian only had himself to blame for this and it was time to pay the damn piper.

He approached them and Abigail, the stupid bitch, stood right between them.

"Hey now," she said, as if she had a fucking say in what was about to go down, "you started this."

"Abigail. Move."

Sebastian was standing next to Sam, his body language petulant. William opened and closed his fists then looked back down at the girl. "Final warning."

Sam stepped up and took a hold of Abigail's elbow, pulling her out of the way.

"You've done enough Abby," he muttered, his face just as cold as William's chest felt. Interesting.

"You think just because you come over here and growl at me that I'm just going to—"

William didn't waste words and grabbed him by the elbow and turned his arm, causing the man to yelp. William didn't bother easing his grip. He wasn't hurting him the way he wanted to and the pain would ease as soon as his grip did. He shoved him forward and walked him deeper into the woods, farther away from everyone else, far away from eyes and ears that Sebastian cared so much about.

"Let me go, Will," Sebastian hissed as William marched them into deeper shadows. "Hey! I said, Stop!"

William ignored him, the rage monster in his chest tearing at his heart as his traitorous brain replayed the way Abigail's cheeks had flushed.

William shoved Sebastian onto a tree stump and glared down at him.

"You know what? You're an asshole."

"I'm an asshole!? You're the asshole!"

William crossed his arms and kept his eyes on Sebastian's face.

"Explain that logic to me, you cheating bitch."

Sebastian surged to his feet and shoved William back. "Pot versus fucking kettle! You were making god damned googly eyes with Elliott! What was I supposed to do!?"

"How about NOT kiss someone else!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Oh please. It didn't mean anything. And the whole pay back was Abby's idea anyway."

William narrowed his eyes and grabbed Sebastian up by the lapels of his blue suit.

"Abby's idea huh?"

Sebastian's nostrils flared, "You started this! What's wrong, big shot? Don't know how to take some of your own medicine back?"

William loomed over him, then leaned forward. "Did you like it?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?"

William had Sebastian pinned against a tree now, his back pressed into the bark. "Answer it, Sebastian."

"Of course I didn't like it!" Sebastian shouted back.

"Well you're still a dick for doing it!" William yelled back.

"You're hurting me," Sebastian said, gritting his teeth.

William dropped his hands, disgust on his face.

"None of this would have happened if you'd just agreed to go to the dance with me in the first place."

"You said you understood!"

William threw his hands up. "Okay! So I lied! I don't understand! And for fuck's sake Sebastian, you let that girl hang all over you!"

His Adam's apple bobbed as his eyes narrowed to slits. "It's a fucking Dance, William, I had to dance with someone."

William crossed his arms.

"Well shit, Sebastian, do you think I'll just wait around until you get done playing Straight and Narrow with Abby?"

"Why did it have to be Elliott!? Why couldn't you have asked… I dunno, Penny! Or Hailey! Or even Emily from the bar! You know her."

"Because," William said, "I don't play around with women. I don't pretend to be something I'm fucking not."

"You let him touch your face!" Sebastian spit back. "Play with your goddamned beard!"

William closed the distance between them but Sebastian didn't back down, letting him meet him, chest to chest.

"That bother you?"

"Yes, it fucking bothered me."

William reached up and slipped his fingers into Sebastian's hair, making a fist in the locks.

"Next time I do something that pisses you off," he growled, "you don't solve it by kissing another fucking person in front of me, goddamn it." And then he took possession of Sebastian's mouth, forcing his head still, shoving his tongue inside. It wasn't like any of their other kisses- tender and eager. It was a punishment. Sebastian sagged against him and gripped onto the lapels of his uniform. He made hungry, mewing sounds as William kissed him, gripping him tight and contained. William's other hand caught him by the throat, his thumb on Sebastian's jaw, holding him still. Sebastian melted into him, his fingers tight on his shoulders.

"I hate the fucking effect you have on my goddamned sanity," William hissed when he pulled away for air. "This shit ain't right, Bastian." They were forehead to forehead, air mingling between them.

"Yeah? Well why the hell does everyone in town know you're gay, huh?" Sebastian grumbled back. "You've been here less than a month and Jodi set you up with Elliott?"

The snippy whine in Sebastian's voice killed what was left of William's anger, lust, and fury. It was replace with exhaustion. He let go of his hair and rested his hand flat, cradling his head.

"Damn it, Bastian," he whispered, "I know that your privacy and shit is important to you but would you for once in your life stop being a self-centered prick all the time."

"Self-centered?! It's an honest question."

"No," William corrected, "It is a fucking self-conscious one. I don't expect you to live your life like me, man. If you want to be afraid and hide, fine. But I'm not going to be joining in with that."

Sebastian pounded both his fists on William's chest, his frustration clear.

"You are out in public for less than a day and you've already found someone to replace me."

William felt his eyebrow hit his hairline. He tightened his grip on Sebastian's hair and jerked his face up to look at him.

"Do you even hear yourself?"

"You just said it!" Sebastian said, eyes squeezed tight. "I'm a self-centered prick. I hurt everyone who hangs out with me too long. I have fucked things up with Sam, fucked things up with Abby…lied to my Mom. And now? You already have someone ready to replace me with."

William sighed and let go of him. Sebastian sagged against the tree, looking away, his eyes red but cheeks dry. He was refusing to cry and William hated him for it.

"You are a grade-A, stupid, sonofabitch." William pulled his hat off and hung it on a tree peg. "How the hell did we get to the point where you fucking kiss someone else," he reached up and pulled Sebastian against his chest, "And I'm comforting your dumbass."

Sebastian was stiff against him but William didn't care. The guy was a mess too. He'd made him that crazy? Then he definitely cared about what was between them more than he was letting on.

"I thought you were dragging me out here to punch out my face," Sebastian admitted against his chest.

William sighed and tightened his grip. "Yeah, well, if you want the truth, so did I."

They were quiet, the forest around them singing and chirping. Sebastian relaxed a small modicum and William finally pulled back.

"So," he said, letting him go and sitting on the stump. "Decision time."

Sebastian absently dug through his pockets but didn't find what he was looking for and sighed. He crossed his arms and tapped his fingers against his elbow. "Okay."

William folded his hands, as if in prayer and lightly chopped them slowly up and down.

"We are not doing that bullshit again. No more jealousy high school nonsense." He looked him in the face. "I want to be with you."

Sebastian swallowed, looking sick. The hits just kept coming. William didn't let his gaze waver, pinning him place with the sincerity of his emotions. Finally Sebastian spoke, his voice almost too soft to understand.

"Did you see what they did?"

William frowned.

"What _who_ did?"

"My family," He hugged himself, "they were excited. My mom. She got…excited. And. Demetrius…he clapped me on the back. He's never done that before." Sebastian looked up at him with lost eyes. "And when they find out that I lied to them…I'll lose it all over again."

William felt something within his chest shatter.

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut. "Can't you just put up with it?" he begged, "For a little longer until-"

"It's over, Sebastian."

Sebastian shook his head. "William, listen, this won't-"

William turned away, his chest aching with pain. "Won't what, Sebastian? Won't be long? Won't be for real?" He turned and pulled his hat the branch. "I'm done."

Sebastian scrambled and grabbed him by the jacket, "No, no, no…just, just listen. It's a good idea. You just—"

William glared at him, "Just have to be your dirty little secret?"

Sebastian swallowed, looking sick. "I don't want to lose you. I also don't want to lose them. Can't you see what an impossible situation you're putting me in!?"

William rubbed the bridge of his nose. "There you go with that 'me' again."

"What do you want me to say? That I'll just change everything about myself because if I don't, you'll find someone else?"

"Glass fucking houses, Mr. Loose Lips."

"It was FAKE!"

"Why the fuck is it not okay for me to 'fake' flirt but it's okay for you to kiss Abigail, huh? No, Sebastian. I'm not doing this. I'm not playing these fucking games with you. I'm not going to let you come shatter me one day and then treat me like trash the next."

Sebastian hugged himself. Softly he whispered, "Don't do this William. Don't give up. We can get through this!"

William hesitated. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to tell Sebastian to fuck off. He felt possessive and angry. He felt violent. He felt broken. He blew out a breath and shoved his hands into his dress pants pockets. But he was done. Better pain now than worse pain later. Still, he was weak, weak to Sebastian's face and body language.

Only 24 hours ago they'd been wrapped up together, safe and whole. He stepped forward and leaned down, cupping Sebastian's face and pressing a kiss there. One last kiss to remind himself that they hadn't always been a fucking mess. He felt the tears now, but didn't stop, didn't stop until he'd branded Sebastian's lips onto his heart for the last time, an invisible tattoo burning just for him.

He finally pulled back, forehead against Sebastian's.

"I'm sorry. Good-bye Sebastian."

He turned and walked away, not daring to look back.

Sebastian wasn't sure how long he stood there in the woods. Maybe only 10 minutes. Maybe an hour. His suit was sweltering hot in the spring humidity. He wanted to take it off. To burn it. He rubbed at his face and felt tears. Damn it.

He'd fucking begged.

And it hadn't mattered.

A fresh wave of pain ran through him but he swallowed it down.

Instead of focusing on how hurt he was. Instead of focusing on how bad he'd fucked up everything, he only concentrated on walking back towards his friends. Sam and Abigail could help him get home. Sam and Abigail…he heard voices. He froze, listening.

"—He did it of his own volition, Sam! I said we were playing a game. I didn't tell him to kiss me."

"Yeah, but you should have fucking stayed out of it Abby."

"Well you know what? I'm glad it happened! I'm fucking glad because now I have a chance again."

Sebastian swallowed down the bile in his throat. It was Abigail and Sam. He closed his eyes tightly. They were fighting over him.

"You are delusional. He's gay, Abigail. You're not a guy. You're just going to get hurt again."

"He kissed me, Sam! Gay men don't kiss women. Maybe it's finally special between us, you know!"

"Abby," Sam's tone was gentle, "he was using you. It was never for you. It was for William."

"Damn it Sam, can't you just be on my side here?"

"Abby, I am ALWAYS on your side."

Sebastian turned his head to the side. They were standing closer than he thought, through shoes ruffling the grass.

"But you know the truth now. He's not wired to like women. He's not going to be able to reciprocate what you want to give."

"You don't-"

"Abby! Stop burning yourself on him! Give up on Sebastian and maybe you could find someone who likes you for who you are!"

"Sam, I love him."

Sebastian closed his eyes at the confession. Fuck. He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up so badly.

"Abigail," Sam's voice was soft, "Don't say that."

He swallowed and let out a breath. He couldn't listen to any more of this. He stepped firmly, moving towards them, making sure to snap twigs under his feet and to let bushes rustle as he passed them. He heard both of the freeze and then he turned a corner to see them.

Sam had untied the bow tie and it hung uneavenly around his neck. Abigail had ditched the white dancing slippers and wore her combat boots under her white dress.

"Seb!" she rushed towards his side. Sebastian watched Sam's face twist and felt the anger radiating out from him. But he kept his voice even.

"Good to see you. William said we might need to check on you. He uh, didn't seem too happy."

Sebastian swallowed. He was a sick bastard but knowing that William was even in a fraction of the pain he was experiencing made him feel a tiny bit better.

"We uh," the words burned in his throat and he had to swallow before continuing, "broke up."

Sam closed his eyes, as if these were the worst things he could have said. Abigail surged forth, hugging him. Sebastian shuddered at the touch. Abigail's body was so very different from William's. Her form soft and lumpy, her hair smelling like dying flowers and overly sweet things. Gently, Sebastian put his hands on her shoulders and stepped back.

"I'm okay, Abby. I'll get over it."

She held onto his arm, her face full of sympathy. "Sebastian, I'm so sorry. I can go talk to him. Tell him the whole thing was-"

He held up a hand.

"No. No, I think…I'm just going to give him some space."

Sam watched him, fingers tight in his pockets. "Wanna spend the night at my place tonight?"

Abigail frowned at him but Sebastian took the lifeline.

"Yeah man. Yeah, that…that's what I want to do."

"Then that's the plan. C'mon. Let's get out of these woods before it gets too dark."

William didn't go straight home.

It was too soon. The light was dying in the valley but he couldn't handle the loneliness of his house right now. The bar was a fucking bad idea so instead he wandered the woods, eyes peeled from the wild onions he'd been collecting to season the MREs.

It was then that he came upon the Tower.

That fucking Wizard's Tower.

He hesitated. He was a mental wreck. He was probably too angry or antsy to be able to focus fulling on any damn thing that this wizard had to say. However, he'd promised to go over yesterday and between the storm and the festival he'd let it slip his mind. He let out a breath. Time not to be a chicken shit. And hey, maybe he'd piss the guy off and get turned into something. That was a cheerful thought.

He followed the path up to the big tower and then looked around before knocking. The door creaked open and he swallowed, before walking into the dim room.

The wizard was standing in the middle of the room, looking down at a bubbling cauldron.

"You're late."

William closed the door behind him, eyes skimming the amazing room.

"I uh, had something come up."

"I can see. I sense heartbreak on you, young man."

William grimaced. He should have pickled his liver instead of putting himself through this sort of questioning.

"Good guess."

"No matter. The state of your heart has nothing to do with the worthiness of your soul. Here. I have a potion prepared for you that will allow you to take on the task of Champion."

"Dude," William said, crossing his arms, "I ain't no one's Champion."

"Oh? So sure of that, William Bauer?"

He hesitated and then caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror that was standing on the side of some big mess of lit candles. He was in full formal uniform, still pretty stiff despite all the activity of the day. His beard was against grooming reg, but other than that, he was in parade dress. He looked like he belonged on one of the Ferngill Republic Recruitment posters that had plastered his high school when he was trying to figure out what to do with his life.

He could almost picture the propaganda font of 'Be A Champion of Ferngill/Defend her Borders!' over his head with the Ferngill flag behind him.

"I'm retired."

The Wizard tossed him a bottle and he reflexively caught it, looking down into a green liquid stoppered with a cork.

"Well then, Mr. Retired, don't drink that."

"What is it?"

The wizard smirked. "It will let you communicate with the Juminos that populate the shrine. It will let you read their messages and full-fill their requests."

He frowned. "Who said I want to."

"You. When you gave the first offering. Have you planted the seeds that the little creatures gave you yet?"

"No."

"For a farmer, you sure are lazy."

William scowled then looked down at the potion. The wizard tilted his head to the side and then in a softer voice said, "I'm divorced. I….made a mistake a few years back and my wife left me. I know a thing or two about heart break."

William shoved the potion into his pocket.

"Wasn't anything that serious," he lied. "If this was all—"

"One more thing. Something that helps me when I'm worked up is to exercise out my anger. If you go north of town, there are some mines. My friend Marlon has been fighting the creatures that live there."

William frowned. "Fighting? Here? This valley is in the middle of a peace zone."

The wizard leaned forward on his staff. "You can thank Marlon for that. He has single handedly been keeping those mines clear of anything dangerous for years."

"I thought you said the Juminos were friendly."

"The juminos aren't monsters, you dense bag of potatoes," the wizard snapped. "Go to the mines and see the danger for yourself. It might give you something to think about other than your bad attitude."

William rolled his eyes then turned, walking towards the door.

"Thanks for the potion."

"Hey, one more thing."

William frowned and turned his head. "Yeah?"

"If you find anything unusual down there, bring it to me."

William hesitated. Then nodded. "Sure thing."

"And plant those seeds. You'd be amazed at what the gifts of the Juminos can give."


	24. Chapter 24

It was dark outside and Sebastian and Sam sat on his bedroom floor in a pile of pillows that they'd confiscated from the rest of the house. Sebastian had pulled Sam's computer monitor off the desk and they'd propped it up on a chair to be their impromptu TV. Two wireless controllers and an emulator were all they needed to relive the classic Gigaman torture of their childhood.

Abby had gone home hours ago and they'd been sitting in silence, Sam occasionally crunching into a bag of potato chips while Sebastian tried, vainly, to get through the hell that was WindDude's attack sequence. Megaman died once more on the screen and WindDude's obnoxious face 'ho ho ho'd into the screen before Game Over flashed.

Sebastian tossed the video game controller down, before falling back and pulling on his hair.

"I swear to fucking Yoba, if WindDude kills me one more damn time…"

"I dunno, Seb," Sam said dryly, "Maybe if you keep standing still enough for him to hit you with those bullshit cyclones, you can finish that sentence with something entertaining."

"Fuck you dude, YOU do it if you're so fucking smart."

Sam scooped up the controller, rebooted the game and began an expert run through of Gigaman 2, successfully getting the wood shield and pwning the hell out of WindDude as if he were a level 1 drone instead of one of the hardest bosses in the game. Four minutes and 22 seconds later, Gigaman was dancing a victory shuffle over WindDude's pixelated corpse.

"Will must have seriously fucked you up," Sam said, switching onto the next set of screens to go after Gigaman's oncoming enemies. "It's not like you to flub GigaMan."

The name of his, holy shit, Ex-boyfriend, was like a punch to the careful shield he'd erected around his heart.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the fuck up, not Will," he muttered, rolling away so that he didn't have to look Sam in the face. Sam didn't bother trying to get him to focus or look his way. It was something he appreciated about the guy- always steady and understanding.

He closed his eyes and for a moment, was lost in a memory of a time when he wasn't such an asshole about his life.

I wondered if all gay guys fell in love with their best friend first. It had been two weeks before school started when he got the courage up to tell Sam how he'd felt.

And by tell he meant tried to force a kiss onto his unsuspecting mouth.

Sam had moved into Pelican town when he was in middle school, a bright and cheerful kid who helped him hide the frogs he caught in unsuspecting places. They'd swapped games and comics, gotten detention together and play pranks on anyone who hurt the other. All through the hell that was middle school they'd been inseparable. Sam had even cried in front of Sebastian once, right after his dad had been pulled back on deployment with very little warning. Sebastian had fallen for him then, feeling an uncomfortable obsession eat him daily as they spend more and more time together.

The summer before freshman year, they'd played hard. Swimming every day it was sunny, catching fish and frogs and bugs. They'd run through the mountain paths in the middle of imaginary games and often had stripped down to shorts to dive into whatever water source was closest.

If they weren't swimming in the spa, they'd take turns jumping out of an old tire swing by the mountain lake that Sam's dad had put up ages ago before one of his many deployments. It was the lake that they'd been at that day, the day that Sebastian had found his courage.

He could still taste the water from the lake in the back of his mouth, could feel the hard pebbles mixed with the mud under his toes as they'd gotten into a shove war over something stupid. Probably a name called wrong. Maybe even a bullshit challenge.

Sebastian remembered how Sam's hair, usually zealously styled into tall waves was flat against his face, his grin infectious. Sebastian couldn't say where the impulse came from, just that he'd gone with it, oblivious of consequences. He moved forward in that twilight dimness and pressed his mouth against Sam, eyes sliding closed as his heart pounded.

In the movies when a two people kissed, it was like a magic spell. Like just by sharing surface area of lips you could share your minds, your hopes…your heart.

Real life wasn't a movie. Sam hadn't kissed him. He'd shoved him backwards so hard that Sebastian had lost his footing, sucking in a lungful of lake water. He came up, choking only to see Sam staring at him with horror and bewilderment.

"Dude, what the actual fuck?"

The shame hit then. The shame and the fact that he couldn't fucking breathe through the awful horror of how badly he'd misread everything. He coughed and then threw up lake water, scrambling to shore. When he finally was able to suck air in, to try and explain, Sam had gotten to the shore, troubled and bothered by what had happened.

He'd followed him, an explanation on his lips. Sam just shook his head, holding up a hand.

"Look. I'm not gay. Okay."

And just like that, Sam had gathered his clothes and left him alone, shivering and small at the edge of the lake, feeling like the world's biggest stain.

It was a miserable set of weeks. Weeks where they didn't talk. Weeks of solitude, just him and his computer games, alone in his room.

School started and even though he and Sam rode the same bus to the Stardew Valley high school, a school so small that it took four other towns the size of Pelican Town to have enough students to justify the cost, they didn't speak. Sebastian couldn't meet his eyes and Sam seemed to feel the same way.

Sebastian knew then that he didn't want to be gay.

He didn't want to be different.

He didn't want anyone to look at him the way Sam had. He couldn't handle losing anyone else because of the way he was.

So he decided then and there, on that bus ride to high school that he was going to be the straightest fucking dude he knew.

On the first day Sebastian signed up for the gridball team. He came home and put the flyer defiantly down for him mom and Demetrius to see, only to have Demetrius cheer. It was alarming.

They drove all the way into Zuzu that night and Demetrius kitted him out, helping him pick cleats and pads, buying extra everything, more gridball equipment than he would possibly need. On the way back home, Sebastian remembered they weren't fighting.

"I didn't know you liked any of this stuff. You stay in that lab all day."

"I used to play," Demetrius had said, fingers tapping on the wheel. "Until I was injured in college. Luckily, there was always biology, right there as a back up to catch me. Still, gridball scholarships were what paid my way. If you can get good, maybe you'll do the same."

For the first time, he and Demetrius got along as he trained, running drills, Demetrius throwing balls for him.

He didn't talk to Sam.

In the halls, months into the semester, they'd pass. Sam and Abby hanging with the band nerds, eyeing him like he'd grown a new head. He ignored them, following along in his fellow grid ball teammate's shadows. He and Alex began to carpool to the county games, Robin sitting with Alex's grandparents while Demetrius blew airhorns and called him, "My Boy."

But as great as that was…it was a lie.

Sebastian was good at lying to himself. But he didn't call it lying. He called it pretending.

He pretended that seeing his teammates didn't get him hard at night.

He pretended that yes, he really did like pouring himself into practice until he puked.

He pretended that he was normal.

And he'd almost made it. He almost had figured it out.

Until one of his teammates found his phone unlocked on the bus.

It had been stupid, he knew. But he'd been bored. He'd been surfing a male model site. Normally, he could hide that sort of thing in the sports magazines that he bought. He could hide it as a male fantasy of getting buff- something he found practically impossible with his own frame.

But this had been his phone and phones were private- he thought.

He wasn't sure what they'd seen. Maybe it was two men staring into each other's eyes while touching in a way that was transparent. Maybe he'd looked too long at someone. Maybe someone had seen him trying to hide an erection at practice. He'd never known the exact catalysis to the end of his

He knew things were fucked when he opened his locker to see dildos with 'fag's breakfast' written on the side of them. He couldn't breathe and slammed the door shut. All around him, the guys around him laughed. All but Alex. Who was a fellow Townie.

Alex had stomped out of the showers to the laughter, taken one look at Sebastian's face and then grabbed his helmet and slammed it onto the ringleader's head.

Except the ringleader was a senior and they were 2nd string junior varsity.

The coach had come down on them like the hammer of an angry god and Alex had been suspended for four whole season games. And without Alex to help him out, it was open season on the suspected fag.

During practice, the hits he got were too hard. The coach just shook his head and told him to toughen up. His water got switched for mud. His uniform would find itself in the toilet. Sebastian buckled in, tried to ignore it. They didn't dare do it outside of the locker room. And after he started hiding a second jersey in his hallway locker, he had a way to fight back.

He wasn't going to let them win.

But everyone had a breaking point.

His had been when he found his face taped over a woman's in the midst of getting plowed behind by a gorilla. He'd snapped and called out the ringleader, ready to get suspended if nothing else than to get it to stop.

But they'd been ready, four of the worst guys, waiting until it was just the five of them. He still remembered how the duct tape tasted on his mouth, how his legs had been cold. How much it hurt to get kicked in his most tender spots as he struggled. His wrists had been tied and the he'd been taunted. And couldn't have screamed. All he could do was shake the bench they'd bound him to, scrapping it across the tiles.

"Listen here, you freshie faggot," the senior had said, holding up one of the skinny grid-field cones. It was short and orange. The cone had a narrow tip about the size of a quarter and a long base about as wide as a coconut. "You like thinks shoved up your ass? I'm going to make your fucking day."

He had flailed, panicked at the cone, panicked as his tormentor circled around him. He was going to vomit. He was going to die.

"What will your parents say if they find you like this, hmm?"

That caused another spasm as he tried to pull off the bench. But he was exhausted and terrified. They'd tapped him too hard. He couldn't breathe well past the gag and he couldn't just Think.

He felt his tormentor's hand on his back. Felt his cheeks beginning to separate. He screamed against his gag, but knew, just knew, he was going to die from whatever they were about to do…

Around him in the room the stooges were chanting "QUEER QUERR QUEER!" like it was a pre-game ritual.

Then there was a slam on the lockers and it made everyone jump. He felt the cone drop between his knees and roll off to the floor. He turned his head, eyes wide, to see Sam, standing in the doorway, his nostrals flaring, enraged. He held a huge mallet in one hand and a music stand in the other.

He stared at them, then at the ringleader.

And like a gold kissed hero, charged.

The others left, too alarmed, too terrified of the crazy drummer with his weapons of music turned into weapons of war. He dropped the music stand and threw a punch at one retreating bully then, brandishing his drum mallet and slamming it sporadically into the lockers.

Sebastian shied away from what had happened next. He'd blocked it out. All of it. How Sam had untied him. How he'd sobbed like a pussy about the whole thing. How Sam had called his mom for him and told her that he was spending the night. How he'd just swept it up and taken care of him.

Because if he had to remember his tenderness, it might break him more. Even now with over five years between then and now.

Sam hadn't judged.

Just helped him get straightened up and got him home.

Sebastian'd resigned from the team the next day, one week before the homecoming game.

He wouldn't tell his parents why. Couldn't tell Demetrius. He'd been too ashamed. Ashamed of all of it. Ashamed of who he was and ashamed of being beaten. Ashamed that he hadn't been strong enough to avoid it and most of all, guilty that he wasn't normal.

His bullying after that would have probably ended in suicide if it hadn't been for Abby and Sam taking him in. He went to the coach once who dismissed it and told him he'd been imagining things- been too imaginative. If it hadn't been for Alex nearly getting expelled for fighting when Sam had told him what the other team members had done, he might have made more than quarterback his senior year. But it had ruined his relationship with the coach; something else Sebastian had to feel guilty for. If Haley hadn't started a smear campaign that blacklisted the senior quarterback from getting a date for the rest of the year, he might have thought it was just because Alex and Sam knew him. But it was more than that. They were all from Pelican Town. Pelican Town kids stuck together.

But years later…and it was years later, Sebastian never forgot what could happen. He'd never forgotten that vulnerability.

And the deep seated belief that he'd just open himself to that sort of torment again if anyone ever found out his darkest secret.

But Will.

Will wouldn't have let anything like that happen.

If anyone tried something like that with someone like Will around…he wouldn't have stopped with a punch. He would straight up murder them. He would have made it safe.

The game let out a chirp that jerked him from his memories.

"It's like that, see? Right weapon for the right enemy."

Sebastian opened his eyes, turned and saw that Sam had conquered the game, Gigaman standing in front of the ending credits.

"Sam," Sebastian said into the quiet of the room. "You're my best friend."

Sam shrugged. "Tell me something new, loser."

Sebastian pushed himself up.

"William broke up with me because I kissed Abby."

Sam stiffened, obviously not ready to have this conversation. But Sebastian couldn't stop himself now that he'd opened the gate.

"And I think he's right. I'm doing it again. Trying to play a straight. And that fucked me up last time too."

Sam let out a breath then turned off the monitor and faced him.

"I know you just got your heart broken and shit, but I'm low-key furious with your emo-ass." He said, his tone cold. "And I'm trying really fucking hard right now to be a good bud right now. So. Can we focus on video games and how you suck?"

Sebastian felt that roil of anxiety at Sam's censure.

"Back in high school…"

Sam rolled his eyes and stood up. "You never have learned when to shut the fuck up, have you?"

Sebastian focused on the floor. "Back in high school, freshmen year, you remember? I joined gridball."

"I remember."

"And I was a dickweasel to you."

Sam scrubbed at his hair. "Dude, I was immature. It was my fault you joined."

Sebastian stared. "What?"

"If I hadn't," he waved a hand, "You know, been a scared kid about things? Had picked up the phone and talked to you? After you know, you kissed me? Maybe you wouldn't have been on that bench."

He flinched, the words touching something horrible within him. He swallowed past it.

"I wanted to be normal."

Sam gave an exasperated sigh. "When are you going to get it through your head, Sebastian. Dude. You ARE normal. You are just fine. There is nothing wrong with liking guys. There is nothing wrong with who you are. Ask Will. He thought you were pretty great when you weren't skeeving on your best friend's crush."

Sebastian covered his face and pulled his knees in. "It's too late now though. It's entirely too late. I messed it up. I messed everything up."

Sam scooted over and wrapped an arm over his shoulder. "Seb. You done fucked up. That's true. But give him some time. Apologize. Maybe even, I dunno, think about being more honest."

Sebastian stared down.

"I don't deserve you, Sam."

Sam punched his shoulder.

"OW!"

"Yeah fucking right, ow." Sam said. "Stop it. Stop with the poor me bullshit."

Sebastian stayed quiet, afraid to misspeak again. Sam sighed and rubbed his hand through his overly gelled spikes.

"I got a challenge for you. If you do it, I'll forgive you for making the whole town think you and Abby are an item."

Sebastian raised a brow. "Okay."

"Tell Maru."

Sebastian frowned. "Tell Maru what?"

"Tell Maru that you're gay. Tell at least HER."

He swallowed. "Demetrius would kill me."

Sam threw his hands up. "For being honest with your sister?"

"Half-sister."

"Bullshit man. She's your little fucking sister, no matter if your dads are different. Tell her. You can trust your sibs to have your back. You tell Maru and I'll see this as real change. As you taking a fucking step forward. Otherwise, we are uneven on the Abby liplock session."

Sebastian let out a breath.

"Okay."

Sam held his gaze, waited, then after a moment, nodded.

"Okay."

And just like that, they were cool again. Sebastian only hoped that he would be able to fulfill the promise when it came time.


	25. Chapter 25

William entered the mines for the first time the day after he'd ended things with Sebastian.

It had been a long walk, especially since he'd avoided Robin's, and therefore Sebastian's house, on the way. He stepped into the darkness of the cave that was held open by old supports. Warnings of danger were printed on rusted signs. An old, busted mine cart lay on its side near the entrance, rubble and dust on its wooden frame. A broken lever was sticking out of a mangle gearbox. William passed it on, and squinted into the dimness. Then froze because he wasn't alone.

Standing in the middle of the large cave was a man with only one eye. He was tall and had the scars that indicated some old fight. He wore an old red commander's cloak over one shoulder, his thumbs tucked into his belt. He was peering down at some hole in the cave and William could make out the glint of nails. It was a ladder attached to the hole.

"Hmmmmm. That wizard up yonder said I might see you down here today, son. Didn't expect you so early in the morn'." His accent was from the northern country, deep from the mountains. William had heard it before on some new recruits that had joined from the high peaks of the Ferngill hills. He associated it with intelligent men who had good and instinctive woodcraft, unlike the city-slickers, like him, who didn't know his ass from his elbow when he'd first joined up.

"I'm William," he said, remembered the Wizard's entire spiel about manners and whatnot. The man nodded at him then looked down at the hole.

"Marlon. Leader of the Adventure's guild. You wanna come take a looksee down here?"

William looked around then stepped closer towards the dark, yawning hole.

"Used to be a time when this mine was active," the greyhaired man said, rubbing a silver streaked goatee. "But no more. The mines dried up and with them, the shipping died.

"Shipping?"

"Course. You think we got all those docks up at the coast for our health? You could crank out the ore, then float it down the river to the ocean. But the mines dried up. Nothing left now but a few pockets here and there. Nothing a big company wants to deal with."

A strange sound echoed up the ladder and it set William's hair up.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Well," Marlon said, eyes narrowed, squinting down at the hole, "nature hates a vacuum son. The humans moved out. And other…things…moved in."

William shivered as there was another faded screech.

"I keep them from making their way out of the front door."

William narrowed his eyes. "These…things. They dangerous?"

"Dangerous enough. Pests on the higher levels. They get a little more cantankerous the farther down you get."

William rolled his head on his neck then adjusted his rucksack before reaching for the ladder.

Marlon raised a brow. "What you doing, son?"

"Well." William said. "Way I figure it, there are some things that need killing. And I haven't gotten to kill something that needed killing in a long time."

Marlon stared at him with his good eye before unbuckling something on his chest then passing it over. The lump under his red cloak revealed a long, rust-speckled sword.

"I'd found this in the rubble. Thought I'd go clean it up and resell it. But you look like you could use it if you're going down there. You manage to kill 10 of the varmints, you come over to my lodge house and come see me."

William looked down at the sword and weighed it in his hand.

He knew fuck all about sword fighting, but he had some close combat training. Couldn't be too hard to figure out.

"Thanks Marlon. I'll come see you by the end of the day."

Marlon clapped him on the back then turned, leaving him to his task.

William took a breath, and then narrowed his eyes, ready to make whatever creepy crawly that was down in the darkness his bitch.

It was near sunset and Sebastian was sitting out on the banks of the lake when he saw Will emerge from the mines near the top of the mountain. Instinctively he slipped behind a tree, his heart pounding. He'd been waiting outside to catch Maru before she got home from the clinic, nervously pacing and smoking a cigarette from his fresh pack that he'd gotten that day at the Joja.

Will was dirty and not wearing his shirt. He had a sword hilt sticking out of his rucksack and was hauling a bag of rocks from the old, abandoned mines. Sebastian wasn't sure if he should roll his eyes at the ridiculous picture he made or be concerned about the spreading blood on his arm. His missing shirt was wrapped tightly around his bicep, red from blood. Sebastian's heart pounded in sudden concern and a burst of indecision. The asshole had some nerve to walk around like that after chewing him out for a damned sprained ankle. Didn't he know a dirty t-shirt was no replacement for a bandage? If he kept up like that it wasn't going to get infected and—

"Oh my gosh, Farmer Bill!"

Sebastian started at the shout and turned his head. Maru was still wearing her clinic scrubs, her hair pulled back under her cap. She was crossing the meadow and evidently hadn't noticed him hiding underneath the tree.

"Oh," Will said, nodding over at his half-sister. "Hey, Nurse."

"Bill, you're bleeding! You have to let me get you to Doc Harvey."

"Nah." Will kept walking. Sebastian bit his lip. Was he really that pigheaded?

"Are you really that pigheaded?" Maru said, exasperated. "You could get an infection! If it gets too bad, you'll lose the whole arm."

"Nurse," they were passing in front of his tree now, "you seem swell and all, but I'm going home. I've got some stuff. I'll stitch it up. No big deal."

She huffed out a breath that blew her bangs up and stomped a foot. "Well, you've given me no choice."

"No choice about what?"

"No choice about following you home."

Sebastian froze.

He was supposed to come out to her today, damn it. HOW in the hell was William screwing up his opportunities AGAIN?

"Suit yourself, nursey."

He watched helplessly as Maru followed William up the path to his farm, and then, narrowing his eyes, followed at a discreet distance.

Even if Will had broken his heart, he didn't want him to bleed out. If he lost consciousness from blood loss, the big bastard would be too heavy for Maru to haul to Harvey's.

He couldn't hear anything they were saying until he slipped onto William's property and crouched behind his house. Then frowned. No wonder it got so drafty in there so easily; the walls near the floor were practically paper thin, the heat from the chimney radiating out.

He shifted until he could sit, then started when Ingrid languidly emerged from under the house and climbed into his lap, purring.

He swallowed, his heart racing. Could they hear her? But no. They didn't seem to hear anything. He leaned against the wall, listening.

"—And you have to sterilize these things first! You can't just start stitching."

"Untwist your panties, Maru," Will said. "It's all sterile. Second box." Sebastian strained and heard movement, then scraping, then a lid snapped open.

"Oh my god, William, what did you think you were going to need this for? It's practically a crash cart."

"Army motto. Be prepared."

"I thought the Army motto was, 'This I will defend.'" Sebastian could hear the bed creak and Maru was snapping on gloves. He adjusted his head and found a crack he could peer into. He could only see feet. William's bare toes and Maru's sensible nursing shoes.

"Hard to defend something if you're not prepared for your enemies, ma'am."

"This is going to sting," she said primly as she stepped closer to him.

"No offense, but getting bit by one of those damned bug things stung a lot worse than whatever that- SHIT lady, what'd you do, dip it in fire first?"

"Hold still you big baby," she snapped, shoes shuffling.

"Not if you're going to freaking take off my arm with whatever that shit was."

"It's alcohol, you infantile pansy. Now be still or I'm marching you to Doc Harvey and letting HIM do this."

William grumbled and Sebastian could imagine his face, grumpy and frowning as Maru tended him with a no-nonsense, no-bullshit demeanor.

"Are all nurses so mean?"

"I'm not a nurse," she said. "And this is going to need stitches."

"I can do it."

"You are crazy. This room? Not sterile."

"Sterile is for weaklings."

"Sterile is for people who don't want their limbs rotting off because they took toxic masculinity to the Darwin level of stupid."

Silence. Then, "What if you did it?"

"I don't stitch people! I told you, I'm not a nurse. Doc Harvey is going to have to do the surgery."

William groaned. "Then for the love of god, just stick a bandage on it and wrap it up and I'll deal with it later."

"Bill—"

"Maruuuuu," he drug out the last syllable of her name as if to mock her. "Patient is non-compliant, capisce? I'm not going to see Doc Harvey over this wimpy little scratch. And no one asked you to come over here and OW, FUCK! _That was on purpose_!"

"If you only needed a bandage, that wouldn't have hurt. C'mon, Bill, it's deep."

"No."

"Ugh. Fine. You're impossible."

"It's my middle name, sweetheart," he grumbled.

"Now. What the heck stung you? I've never seen a bug that could do that before."

Sebastian winced as Ingrid dug her claws into his leg and bit back a noise that might alert them that he was there. He almost missed what Will said next.

"It was in the caves. Turns out the things that go bump live down there."

Sebastian's heart hammered, eyes wide. William had gone into the mines? Not just wandered around the first floor the way any sane person would.

"Inside the mines? And there was a monster bug?"

"Yes ma'am. Big as my arm."

"Sounds like you need to be more careful, Farmer Bill."

"You can wrap it tighter."

"You don't need to lose circulation."

"Eh. I can take it."

Maru snorted and Sebastian felt similarly inclined.

"You really are the macho meathead that Haley said you were."

"That's not very nice, Nurse Maru. You keep talking like that and my poor feelings are gonna get all hurt."

"Oh please. If you had feelings you'd have gone to Doc Harvey. But not you, Bill. You're all testosterone. There. That should hold up. When it inevitably starts to swell up and hurt, just come by the clinic and we'll try and save your arm."

"And get more of your tender mercies? Why, thank you for the invite, but I think I'll pass."

Maru started bustling around and Sebastian shifted, starting to wonder how he was going to manage to get off Will's property without either of them seeing him.

"Listen," Will said, "you're Sebastian's little sister, yeah?"

"Half-sister," she said absently. "Same mom, different dads."

"A sibling is a sibling," Will said, "doesn't matter how they got that way."

She gave a soft chuckle. "You think so, huh? Well. Yeah then. Sebastian's my big brother. What of it."

"How's he been doing? You know. Over the past few days?"

Sebastian's heart began to do a double time rhythm. Will was asking about him? Why would he care? He'd been the one to call it off. He froze in stroking Ingrid, listening even harder for Maru's answer.

"Seb? Fine I guess. He's been spending all his time with his new girlfriend now. Mom is over the moon."

Silence. Sebastian wished he could see Will's face. Wished he knew what he was thinking.

"It's real important to your parents that he have a girlfriend, huh?"

Sebastian didn't think that Maru picked up on the bitterness in William's voice, but it cut him like a knife. He looked down at Ingrid and felt immediately guilty. He shook his head. He'd have a better chance of getting out of here unseen if he left now. He carefully moved the ginger cat, who gave a trill of annoyance before stalking off to go somewhere else and began to slip his way out.

He'd meet Maru on the way home.

And maybe then he'd have the courage to say what he'd been trying to figure out how to say all day.


	26. Chapter 26

"Sebastian is sort of a loner," Maru said as she packed up his medical kit.

William liked the girl, despite the hard time he was giving her.

"Seeing that he's got someone makes us all happy," she continued.

He stood up and began to dig for a shirt. His other one was ruined. Not even Jodi was going to be able to get out that blood stain. The action also succeeded in hiding the glare he felt coming on when he remembered Sebastian's arm around Abigail. Whoops. He'd ripped it. He tossed it to the side for a fresh attempt at clothing.

"Fair enough. I'm sure it's not a surprise," he said, keeping his voice impressively even. He should get a gold star.

Maru's eyebrows knit, her face twisting in thought. "Actually, I was surprised."

William stilled. "You were?"

She shrugged. "Honestly? I didn't think Sebastian liked Abigail that way."

Perceptive Maru.

"From what I heard, they're always hanging out," he said, pulling a clean shirt on.

"Well," Maru said, her tone practical, "Sebastian also hangs out with Sam all the time but that doesn't mean they're dating."

An un-easy thought crossed his mind. Did Sebastian want to date Sam? He shuttered that poisonous thought away for later.

"Right." He opened his rucksack and began digging through it.

He'd gotten quite a few ores and even found some shattered diamond bits from a particularly tricky set of ore. As much as he'd been blustering around Maru about how fit and fine he was, the truth was that he was sore everywhere and had the bone deep weariness that usually set into place after a long session of PT.

"You'd better stay out of the mines for a couple of days," Maru advised as she shoved his medical kit back under the table that he'd stored it in. "At least until you heal up." She frowned. "But they are really dangerous.

"Here," he said, spreading some of the diamond chips out onto a fresh scrap of handkerchief that he'd pulled from the clothing bin. "You helped me out, even though I was a grouch."

Maru's eyebrows shot up.

"Bill, are those diamonds?"

He shrugged. "Nothing too pretty. Just some chips from the mines."

She reached over and collected the handkerchief, eyes shining. "I've been looking for some JUST this size for my newest robot! I saw a video of a guy building something and thought, 'if only I had diamonds on the bit of my drill.' Thanks!"

He shrugged and immediately regret moving his arm.

She frowned critically at him. "I'm coming to check on you tomorrow, okay?"

He waved her off and sank onto his bed.

"Don't waste your time. I'm exhausted."

Maru shook her head and then opened the door, only to squeak in surprise.

"Mayor Lewis!"

William took a deep breath. Great. No rest for the wicked.

"Why, Miss Maru," Lewis said from the door. William stood up, standing behind her at the doorway and immediately grateful that he'd put on a shirt. The last thing he needed was Sebastian getting some half-baked rumor that he was banging his sister. "Didn't expect to see you here."

Maru opened her mouth, probably to spill the whole story out. William put a restraining hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. She looked up, surprised, but William shook his head in a small negative gesture.

"She helped me out with a small farming accident," he said, shifting his grip on her shoulder to a friendly pat. "But she was heading home."

Maru raised an eyebrow then nodded, shifting the handkerchief full of diamond bits into her pocket. "Right! Yup. That's what happened. See you tomorrow Bill. Keep that cut clean."

"Like a whistle."

Lewis and William watched her depart, heading north on the mountain path back towards her home. William looked at Lewis who had his thumbs hooked into his suspenders. Lewis waited until Maru was out of sight before nodding his head around the farm.

"You've been working hard on the land here, boy."

William leaned his good shoulder into the doorjamb but didn't bother inviting the mayor in. For one thing, he hadn't disposed of all the bloody gauze and things from his injury. For another, this visit seemed a bit too intentional.

"I had a package come in and it wouldn't fit in the mailbox," he said easily, handing him a box. William took the box and looked down. It was addressed from his parents.

"You could have just left a note to pick it up, Lewis, no need to traipse all the way out here. Thanks."

Lewis shrugged, looking around with interest. "You know, I thought you and Mr. Elliott were getting cozy the other day. Is it true that you're…" He slowed as if he wasn't quite sure how to end the statement.

"Gay? Yes. I'm a gay man, Lewis."

Lewis coughed, flushing from William's direct look. William was too tired to care that he'd made the old man uncomfortable. His arm ached and he planned on having it stitched closed and tight before Maru could stick her nose in his business the next day.

"Well, there is nothing wrong with that," Lewis said, after a moment of digestion. "And that Elliott is a good looking guy, as guys go. Not that I look at guys. I like women."

William rolled his eyes. Then cleared his throat, reached over and clapped the older man on the shoulder.

"Good talk, Lewis." Lewis stumbled at the weight. Will continued and pointed at the spot that he'd picked out for his brewing system.

"You should come by when I get the kegs installed. Pops left a few good ale recipes that we could try."

Beer was the universal common ground among men and this subtle shift was enough to get Lewis to get on with his purpose and move the heck off of William's porch.

"Sounds like a wonderful idea my boy! I'll come over and have a pint with you sometime. We can toast your grandpa, may he rest in peace."

"Amen," William murmured.

And with that, Lewis waved and left. Ingrid chose that moment to saunter through the door, a dead mouse hanging from her mouth. William rolled his eyes but didn't bother trying to stop her. He'd dispose of the 'gift' with his dirty wound dressings.

He put the package down and opened it up. Sure enough it was a letter from his mom and dad, and to his surprise, a cheap pre-paid cell phone. Well if that wasn't a hint to call home, he didn't know what was.

He sat in his chair and opened the letter.

"Dear Son," his mom's beautiful copperplate handwriting began, "it's been weeks and your father and I wondered what could have taken you so long to write! Then we decided it would be easier for you to call. We've heard of some news and we were afraid it might trouble you if you heard it from the wrong person. Please feel free to use the included cell phone."

William sighed. He hoped the device came with some charge as he still didn't have electricity for his cabin.

He had a sneaking suspicion that her 'upsetting news' had everything to do with the letter he'd received from Cameron. He read on.

"Please let us know when we can come visit you! We both love you and want you to have a good life. It's been hard not being able to visit when the whim hits. I'm including a small gift. I know you've been working so hard. We love you, William. – Mom and Dad."

He bit his lip, the cellphone a small bomb, waiting to go off. He stared at it and its clamshell package. The damn thing was Pandora's Box and he wasn't sure he was ready for whatever fresh hell Cameron was about to bring into his life.

He let out a breath and then pulled out his pocket knife. After all, putting it off would just make it worse.

If Sebastian could put off dealing with coming out to Maru one more day, he figured he would. But after Sam had been so insistent, he didn't see how he had a choice.

So he waited.

Just as he was beginning to wonder if Maru would ever come down the path when she emerged, looking as though she'd just had a fight and lost. Man, did he empathize with that. Classic Will-struck moment.

"Hey," he said, stepping up to wave at her. She nearly jumped out of her skin and clapped a hand against her chest.

"Oh my goodness, Sebastian! Warn a person next time."

He rubbed his neck. "Sorry. I…uh... wasn't expecting to see you." Which was a lie since he'd just stalked her for the last 2 hours.

She hesitated then shrugged, falling into step beside him. "Well, I was over at Farmer Bill's place. He'd had an accident in the Mines and needed an extra pair of hands."

Sebastian nodded, sweat gathering on his palms. He let out the breath and began to try and find the words that he'd spent the whole day gathering up. He was tempted to ask about Will. Tempted to ask what he'd asked. But he couldn't figure out a way to bring it up without revealing that he'd been listening. He rubbed his hands on his jeans as they walked and compulsively swallowed.

"Maru, listen, there is something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure," she said, her head tilted in interest as they made their way towards home.

"I…" he looked over at her and could see himself in her eyes. Taller than her, sharper features. His skin paler, his bones more narrow. He could see their differences in the way she was relaxed and he was tense. And nauseated.

Maru waited as the words died in his throat.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

He bit his lip.

Sam had been clear. He had to at least _try_ to tell Maru. He had to at least begin the process of trying to be more honest. Maru was his sister. She would probably not be disgusted with him. Probably.

"If I…what I want to talk to you about, it's sensitive okay."

She slowed and cocked her head to the side. "Okay, Seb. What's wrong?"

He closed his fingers around of his pack of smokes, dying to have another cigarette but knowing that Maru would get mad. He let out a breath. No need to make this worse.

"I…there is something I haven't told you. Or…anyone in the family."

Maru waited and he tried to find the words. His brain flailed around for a lead in. For a link to what he was versus how he'd presented himself.

"It's about Abigail."

She waited.

"She and I aren't exactly…well…it's complicated."

Maru chuckled. "You two were making out at the Flower Dance. It doesn't seem that complicated."

"I…It wasn't…I'm not seeing Abigail."

She cocked her head.

"Did something happen?"

He grimaced because this wasn't coming out right.

"You could say that."

Maru slowed and stopped against the last tree from their house.

"What are you TRYING to say?"

He bit his lip, looked at their house, then looked back at the path that led to William's farm. "I-I'm trying to say that I don't really like Abigail. And that I actually…well, it's like…I…" the words faltered and he could feel tears burning behind his eyes. It was just Maru. This should be easy. Just say the words, he urged himself. Just say, _I'm gay._

He inhaled, looked her in the face, opened his mouth-

"There you two are!"

Sebastian stiffened and he and Maru turned their heads just in time to see Abigail running towards them, waving. He looked at the sky and wondered, WHEN exactly the universe had decided to point and laugh at him. His words, already slipping out of his fingers like beach sand, just completely dissolved. He shoved his fists into his hoodie and slouched as Abigail approached. He scowled when she threw her arms around his elbow, grinning up at him.

"So!" she said brightly, as if they were a couple, which she knew good and well that they weren't, "Why don't we go down to the Saloon and play a few rounds in the arcade tonight?

Maru got a small smile then winked at him.

"Heh. Well don't let me interrupt."

Sebastian gave her a bugged-eyed look, as if asking for help, but she laughed. Then leaned forward, her voice so low only he could hear it.

"Don't worry big brother. Your secret is safe with me."

"What secret?" he hissed back.

"That you're in love." She said, too soft for Abigail to hear. "Lips are sealed."

He felt as though his head would explode.

Abigail cocked her head curiously, clearly not catching Maru's whisper. He felt as though his soul left his body and drifted off into the hateful sun.

"Later, lovebirds," Maru said. She walked on as Sebastian stayed frozen to the spot, ice hard in his stomach.

As soon as she was gone, he jerked his arm out of Abigail's fingers. She looked startled. He even went as far as to shove her backwards by the shoulder.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"Hey," she snapped, though he hadn't had real force in the shove, "Careful!"

Sebastian clawed his scalp, pulling his hair.

"Abigail, WHY did you just do that!?"

She frowned, crossing her arms. He could see that she had her flute strapped to her back in its narrow case. "You're welcome."

He groaned. "I'm _not_ thanking you! Why did you just do that!? I was…" the words died again. Every time he tried to express what he was trying to do, his throat closed up.

"What? You looked uncomfortable. I thought I was helping!" She waved a hand back, "You know, giving you an out."

"Well, you weren't. We need to stop this whole fake relationship thing. It's just causing a mess."

Abigail rolled her eyes. "Sebastian, c'mon. You are the one who doesn't want your family to know. This way you can get them off your back."

He glared.

"You mean this way, you can get me all to yourself?"

She flushed.

"Wh-what?"

He was so frustrated, so angry at himself, at his circumstances and by extension, HER.

"You think that this little game is some sort of sick opportunity," he snarled, stepping up. Abigail stared at him, wide-eyed. "That you can just talk me into being bisexual or some shit just because you want more? Well that's not friendship, Abby."

She shoved him back, eyes flashing with anger.

"You want to make accusations, Sebastian? How about LYING to me for years!? How about letting me pine over your emo ass for years without one single fucking thought about how much I liked you? Huh!?"

"I never told me to like me!"

"And I never told you to kiss me!"

They glared at each other but just as he was about to walk back home, intending to bury himself in work to try and make some success of this absolute _clusterfuck_ of a day, she snagged his hoodie.

"No! You don't get to walk away again, Sebastian. You get to listen!"

He froze then turned towards her, eyes dull.

"Fine. Say your piece."

Abigail was thrumming with emotion and built up anger. She let go of his arm and kept her hands balled into fist at her side.

"I learned drums for you."

He shook his head, not following what she meant, but Abigail plunged forward, too focused on getting it all out.

"When you and Sam started your band, I learned drums so I could join you. You played keyboard and Sam wanted to play the guitar. I practiced the drums every day for hours."

He opened his mouth, but she plunged on like racing him.

"I like the rain, JUST like you do. My favorite color? Black. Just like you." She stepped forward. "I play the same games you play. I like the same horror movies you do." She put her hands on his hoodie, balling the fabric into her fists as she looked up into his eyes, growing more passionate with every word.

"I hate this town, _just like you do_." She shook him.

"Sebastian, can't you see? We would be _good_ together! I can MAKE you happy," her lip began to tremble and her voice cracked, "all you have to do is let me."

Sebastian stared at her, the anger bleeding out as she spoke, each word more desperate, more frantic and his heart broke at the pain that he was about inflict. He swallowed then groaned, putting his hands on hers. He ducked his head, hiding behind his bangs.

"Abigail, don't do this," he pleaded, "we're good as friends. Don't do this with me."

That made her cry; ugly fat tears running down over an overly red nose.

"Sebastian, please, just…just try! Then no one has to know that you're gay. You can pretend with me and we can be happy."

He looked at her and then said softly, "Abigail, you're a sweet girl. You're smart and brave. You're funny and you have a lot going for you. But I can't love you like you love me. I'm so sorry."

She sobbed then, leaning her head down. He tightened his grip on her hands, holding her still, feeling like he was going to cry with her.

"The person I want? He's right." He shook his head. "If I keep doing this, it's just going to hurt you worse. It's hurt him. It's hurt me…Abigail. I can't be what you want."

She swallowed and hiccupped, crying harder now. "You haven't even tried!"

He barked out a laugh.

Had he not?

Still, he pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back. She cried more, her heart clearly broken. Yet, as she exhaled, he realized…she was starting to calm down.

He'd broken her heart…but she was going to be okay.

"Look," he said, pulling back when she started to sooth, "Go home, Abby. Take a few days. I'll give you some space. But this? This is a lie. One I should have fixed a long time ago."

She wiped her face, eyeliner streaking as she sniffed.

"I feel stupid," she admitted.

"You're not stupid," Sebastian said, feeling wrung out. "You're brave. You say what you mean and you're never a dirty liar like I am."

She opened her mouth but he waved a hand. "Don't argue. It's my fault. I'm sorry. I…after what happened in high school, I was terrified to tell anyone anything. I was so afraid."

She cocked her head. "Right. I guess that makes sense. You know, you never told me exactly what made you quit the Gridball team. No one would talk about it. Just one day you were a weird jock and the next day, you were yourself again."

He coughed. Now that can of worms was too full to open up.

"Some other time," he muttered, meaning, Never Ever.

She looked down and nodded.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Sebastian said, and then he turned. "Now excuse me while I go and ruin my life."

She hesitated. "You want me to go with you?"

He shook his head and waved. "I'll call you and Sam later. We'll talk. In fact, maybe go over to his place for a bit."

She brightened. "Yeah, that would be nice. Sam is always really nice."

He didn't wait, his body keyed up, his mind focused.

It was time to take the plunge.


	27. Chapter 27

"William," his mom's voice was tinny on the cheap phone, "It's so good to hear your voice!"

He smiled, and leaned back on his bed, sinking into his mom's soft words like a soft hug.

"Hold on, you're dad's getting on the other handset," he heard shuffling around and for a moment had a flashback to when he'd call home from the front lines.

"William?" His dad sounded breathless, like he'd run to their second phone and William grinned.

"Hey Dad."

"How is the farm? Are you eating enough?" His mom sounded strained, and William recognized the stalling tactic for what it was.

"Yup. So, I don't have electricity hooked up yet and it'll be a few weeks before that gets installed. What was the big news?"

He could hear bed springs, which meant one of his parents was sitting down. He braced himself.

"Well," his dad said, as his mom had fallen silent, "it was about Manuel."

The name brought the man's face to mind. He'd been a mutual friend back when he and Cameron were dating. He'd gotten them a rather nice engagement present before all the shit had gone down.

"What? He's getting married or something?"

More silence and he guessed again.

"He have a baby?"

The silence stretched and he heard his mother let out a breath, a brush of air over the phone that broke into static.

"He died, William," his dad said softly.

William lost his air and was suddenly glad that he was laying down.

"Wh-what?"

His mom's weird breathing suddenly made sense. She was crying.

"Ma," he said, his voice gentle. "Ma, its okay, don't cry."

"Manuel was your age, William," his mom croaked. William sat up and winced as he jarred his injured arm.

"I know. I know Ma. But don't cry. Shhhh…"

He heard his dad's movements and in his mind's eye he pictured his parents, silvery hair, bent and creaking joints, sitting on his mom's ridiculously flowery couch, his dad with his arm around her tiny little form. His dad's meaty hands overly large on her delicate shoulders and he 'there-there'd' and awkwardly tried to pat her soothingly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," his mom said between little gasping sobs, "it was just such a shock. He was so young."

"Cameron came by and told us about it. He was trying to get in touch with you," his dad said. He heard his mom turn off her handset and he sighed.

"I wish he hadn't gotten you guys involved," he said.

"Well, we knew Manny's parents, William. When you boys were deployed, we talked. That creates a bond."

"Right," he said, "well, did he leave a number to contact him? I should probably drop him a line."

"He planned the funeral. It was last week. I'm sure he'd be happy to hear from you."

"Maybe," William said, frowning down at his injured arm, "it's been a while."

"He's got a new fellow now," his dad said. Though, he didn't sound like he approved.

"Good for him," William said dryly. He heard the line shuffle and his mom was back on.

"William, I know things went wrong between you too—"

"That's one way to put it," he said, "Ma, he threw me out. He threw my stuff out of a third story window. He wrote 'Dirty Lying Scumbag' on the trash bags that he put my stuff in."

"You weren't exactly innocent, William," his dad snapped.

William rubbed the back of his neck, both from shame and irritation.

"Boys," his mom cut in.

"What?" he and his dad said at the same time.

"Don't fight," she said, her voice soft. "Just. Call Cam. And tell him to come over whenever he wants. I still make those pinwheels he likes."

"Ma," he snapped, "we broke up two years ago. Can you please stop making him baked goods?"

"Cameron was a great comfort to your mother," his dad bristled back. "And he's going through a hard time right now. You can't dictate our friends."

He groaned. It sucked when your parents decided they wanted to keep your ex when you'd rather they just stop talking to him. Still. He'd been a shit. And Cameron was, as always, perfect.

"Fine. I was going to call him anyway," he said.

"Good. He's a good man," his mom sniffed, the unspoken, _and you were an idiot_ tacitly understood. What else was new?

"You going to be okay?" His dad asked.

William scrubbed his face and then said, "Yeah dad. It sucks. But yeah. I'm level."

"We want to come visit you," his mom said, her voice back under control.

"You should. Maybe in a few months I'll have some room for you two to stay and you can see how it's all looking. Pops left the farm in a bit of a clutter, but I'm getting it straightened out."

"I bet you're doing a good job, son," his dad said. It was Dad for _'I'm sorry I brought up your ex'_

"It could be better," he said. That was son for _'I accept.'_

"We'll see. Well listen. Don't wanna kill that battery of yours. You might need it for an emergency."

"Call us soon, baby," his mom said and William smiled.

"Love you two," he whispered, as the he stared at the bare, wooden, floorboards of his house. Ingrid came up from wherever she'd been eating that mouse and rubbed against his ankles.

He hung up and let out a breath. Tears gathered and he rubbed his palm against his cheeks, the wave of homesickness for his mom and dad washing over him. He let out a bark of laugh. He hadn't evolved that much at all, had he?

Sebastian pushed open his front door and smelled roasting vegetables. He swallowed. This was probably a bad night to try and do this. He was going to ruin family dinner night. Sebastian went down to his room and took off his shoes, pulled his hoodie off and hung it up, then hesitated. How was he going to do this? Should he do this? When talking to Abigail, it had seemed so clear. So easy. Necessary and urgent that he just do it. But now? No. He couldn't. He couldn't possibly to it yet. He wasn't ready.

And how was he going to even manage to get out the words? Trying to tell Maru had been damn near impossible. After she'd seen Abigail's interruption…he shook his head and let out a breath. He was a knot of tension and nerves.

But he'd promised Sam.

He'd just wait until after dinner, he decided. He'd go out and look at her telescope or something. Yeah. That was what he'd do. Private. Just the two of them. If she seemed receptive, he'd work his way up to it. He swallowed and nodded. That was the plan. Slow. Solitary. Subtle.

He paced his room until he heard his mom call for dinner. He went upstairs and sat at his place at the table, counting down until dinner would be over. He endured the meal. It felt like the loudest and most agonizing dinner he'd ever had. Sebastian felt every clink of silverware, every sweep of the napkin across the table, as an electric jolt against his resolve. He couldn't manage more than monosyllabic responses whenever his family spoke to him, couldn't follow the conversation. Instead he replayed his plan in his head, trying to find the words again, trying to find exactly how he was going to break this to her.

"Sebastian, you should invite Abby over for dinner next weekend," his mom said, the first sentence that managed to get through the cloud of anxiety he'd been trapped in.

He pushed his roasted squash over on his plate with his fork. "Can't."

Demetrius frowned. "Trouble in paradise already? Goodness, Sebastian, it's only been one day."

Of course Demetrius expected him to play the perfect boyfriend. That was just like him. He probably already had some weird graph of what babies would look like. Some list of genetic traits that he could track and map like he did the genetics on his plant projects.

He gripped his fork tighter and then forced a piece of carrot between his lips. Maru shushed them.

"Oh no, I saw them earlier," she said. "They're doing fine."

He put his fork down with more force than he meant to.

"No. Sorry, but," his throat was coated with mushed carrot and he swallowed past it, "Abby and I aren't together. We're not like that."

Demetrius frowned. "That's a cruel trick to play on a girl you were kissing yesterday, Seb."

Robin's brows knit.

"And rather sudden Sebastian."

He closed his eyes, his heart pounding. He wanted them to stop looking at him. He should have just agreed with his mom. Should have just told her yes. But it was too late now. Too late to lie because he'd already said that Abby wasn't coming.

Because he was going to be honest.

Because he was done playing straight-and-narrow.

Because it was time to stop being a self-centered prick.

"I'm gay."

Silence.

He had his eyes closed and the words were out. Too late to suck them back in. Too late to say 'whoops.'

"Wha-what did you say?" Maru asked. He peeled his eyes open, entire body tense. He swallowed and couldn't look at his mom. Couldn't look at Demetrius so he locked onto her brown eyes and repeated, "I'm gay."

"You-you are?" His mom sounded shocked. Demetrius was still quiet.

"Yeah mom," he said, turning and meeting her surprised face, "I am."

"Sebastian," Demetrius whispered and he finally screwed up the courage to look at him. His step-father looked flabbergasted, his brows at his hairline, his mouth partly open. "All this time?"

He felt the guilt and the shame building up then, making his face red. His eyes burned and he couldn't taste what he had eaten. He was shaking.

"Is…is that why you don't talk about who you've been with?" Robin asked, her eyes starting to flood with tears.

He was hit instantly with shame. With guilt. This was going terribly. Why had he told them all? He was only intending on telling Maru. He'd intended to do this one at a time. Not all at once. Mistake. Bad idea. He wished he had kept his hoodie on, but he didn't have its comforting weight and warmth. He reached up and tried to surreptitiously wipe at his eyes.

"I…guess. Yeah. I guess so."

Then they were all speaking at once and he felt himself curl in.

"—Why didn't you—"

"I just can't believe—"

"—But we all thought—"

He covered his ears, starting to breath harder as they spoke but Demetrius's voice was loudest.

"QUIET!"

He felt his heartbeat in his ears at the new silence and he looked up, waiting for the blow. Waiting for the rejection.

Waiting for the look that Sam had given him that first time.

Instead, Demetrius looked lost.

"Sebastian, how could you ever think…" his voice was so disappointed, so full of an emotion that Sebastian knew was going to shatter him, "that you couldn't come to us with this? That it could change how much we love you?"

A sob broke in his throat and he couldn't help it, he was crying.

Robin darted around the table, and then Maru. He felt their arms around him as Robin whispered, "Oh my baby boy," over and over. He couldn't help it, the shock of their acceptance, and the relief at their words made him cry harder.

He found himself in a family huddle, all of them curled close and he couldn't believe it. He tried to speak, but the roil of anxiety was too much to verbalize.

It took long minutes but finally he managed to croak, "You're not mad?"

Robin gave out a choked laugh.

"Sebby! No, of course we aren't mad! Demetrius and I would never be mad about this, honey."

"And I definitely don't care," Maru said, her hands squeezing his shoulders. Sebastian took in a shuddering breath.

"C'mon ladies," Demetrius said gruffly, "Let's give him some air. C'mon. To the couch."

Sebastian felt Demetrius ruffle his hair and then the moved to the couch.

Maru darted out and came back in a few minutes later with a glass of water. She crouched on one side and Robin perched on the other on their couch. He sucked the water down gratefully, his heart pounding as left over adrenaline ran through him.

"Okay," Demetrius said, sitting in front of him, "Start from the beginning."

"There ah, there isn't much of a beginning, Demetrius," he said, looking down at the water, "I've been gay for a while. Since before high school."

"Are you and Sam…" his mom asked, suddenly remembering all the sleep overs she condoned at her house. He barked out a laugh.

"No. No, uh, Sam's straight. We're not like that."

Maru covered her mouth, "But what about Abigail? Why—it just seems really confusing Sebastian."

"Are you bisexual?" Demetrius asked.

He shifted and flushed at the intensity in his gaze.

"No. No, I'm uh…I'm homosexual."

Robin looked up at the ceiling and then back at him. "Sebby! Why didn't you just tell us! Oh goodness, the amount of times I tried to set you up with girls. Baby, you must have been so uncomfortable!"

He flushed, so overwhelmed by the outpouring of acceptance, so unprepared for it he shrugged.

"I…thanks guys, I…I didn't think…I've been…It was really hard to come out and tell you that I'm not normal."

"Nonsense," Demetrius said, his tone broking no argument, "Homosexuality is found in nature. There is nothing that is abnormal about you, Seb. You and I might not always see eye-to-eye but it's perfectly natural to feel the way you do."

He stared at him in shock.

Demetrius frowned, "Sebastian, come on. I know we've had our conflicts, but…I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression that your sexuality would change how much we care about you. It's not a factor, Sebastian."

"Exactly," his mom said, kissing his cheek. "And you can always come to us. With anything."

Maru laid her head on his shoulder, rubbing his back. "I just didn't know," she said softly. "I'm really sorry."

"You guys," he whispered, shaking his head, "I…I didn't know how to say it."

"Well you've said it now," Robin said firmly. "And now you can let that go. We love you. Nothing changes that. I don't care if you want to settle down with a girl or a boy, just as long as you're happy."

Maru shook her head and chuckled, "Goodness, Sebastian. It could have been something REALLY bad, like a tumor or something."

He coughed and then rubbed his face. Then he couldn't help it, he started to chuckle.

"You guys are…unexpectedly, the best," he finally whispered. "Thank you so much."

William's back was bothering him along with his arm and he tried not to think about it as he gathered up the dirty bandages, remains of Ingrid's snack, and tossed it into the fireplace. Pain was to be endured, not coddled. He grabbed a broom, swept up the mess, then hung a kettle over his growing fire, telling himself it was the smoke that was making his eyes smart and definitely was not the aches.

He pulled out the suture kit and began unwrapping Maru's handy-work just as footsteps creaked on his porch. Seconds later there was hard and rapid knocking.

He groaned.

Hadn't he had enough today?

He looked down at the sutures in their plastic and sterile package and then stomped to the door, throwing it open.

"What?" he barked.

Abigail's face melted from determined to alarmed; he knew he looked bloody, tired, dirty, and his hair was sticking in several directions. Too bad for her. She was trespassing.

"Apparently this isn't a good time," she stammered.

As she was the second to last person he wanted on his doorstep at O'dark-thirty, he agreed.

"Goddamn it Abigail, what are you doing here so late at night?"

She tilted her chin up.

"I came to talk to you, you big angry oaf! But I didn't realize it would be a bad time."

She turned and began to walk off but William narrowed his eyes at her right hand. She was clutching a cardboard sleeve with bottle tops sticking out of it.

"Hey, what is that?"

She stopped then turned, holding it up. "It's beer. I was going to make it a peace offering but if you're going to be a growling asshole about it, my beer and I can go home."

He weighed the option. "You squeamish?"

She raised an eyebrow, "C'mon Sergeant Squatch, you're not that bad."

He rolled his eyes then stepped back, holding open the door, "fine. Come in."

She grinned and darted inside.

"Why are you here anyway?"

"Oh, well." She shrugged and put the beers on his table, "Sebastian broke up with me."

He let the door shut and scowled.

"He was never going out with you in the first place, you little home wrecker," he took one of the beers straight from the cardboard bin that she had them in. He turned the label out and raised and eyebrow.

"What is this shit?"

"It's a local brew!"

He sniffed it and wrinkled his nose. "It smells like candy."

"It's hard root beer."

He took a drink and then made a face. "Oh my god, Abigail. You brought me girl beer."

"Hard Root Beer!"

He rolled his eyes then chugged it down, swallowing it within a few more seconds. She gaped.

"Better than nothing I guess," he said, after letting out a belch. He settled down and went back to getting his sutures ready.

"What are you doing? A sewing project?"*

"As in sewing myself together? Sure."

She frowned. "The hell, dude."

"How about this," he said as he pulled out a pair of locking forceps, clipping them into place around the needle, "You talk about whatever it is that brought you to my door and I get this arm fixed up before nurse psychopants comes back over."

"Huh?"

"Maru. Now. Speak your peace, Spooky, and open up another one of those girly beers."

She scowled but then twisted off the top of a beer and put it to the side.

"I wanted to tell you that Sebastian made things pretty clear to me. You know, breaking off our fake relationship."

He paused with the curved needled above the middle of his gaping and puckered wound. Then he braced himself and shoved the needle through the skin, pushing fast enough that the little point emerged from the other side. He let out a breath then pulled the suture through.

"C'mere, Spookerella," he said, his tone harsh from pain. "Make yourself useful and hold this for me."

She stood up, curiously staring down at his bloody wound.

"So um," she continued, holding the tool while he looped the suture around the tip of the needle then carefully closed it square, pulling the two gaping edges of flesh together, "I thought you might like to know that he did that."

"If you are going to puke," he said with intense concentration, "I recommend using the bathroom. I don't want to clean up your sick after finishing this up."

She turned her head to where he gestured then swallowed.

"Is there a reason you're not going to see Doc Harvey about this?"

He reached over and took another swig of beer. "For this? Don't want to waste his time."

"Right," she said.

He aimed the needle again and made another stitch. Three stitches, he figured, that would close it up tight enough to keep from having issues later. Maru was going to shit a brick but he'd deal with it later. He glanced up at Abigail as she stared at his hand, mesmerized by his smooth stabbing.

"You're not afraid of needles?" She asked.

"No. Though I'd probably stay out of trouble if I'd been more phobic of the little bastards."

She shrugged then held the forceps while he used his good hand to loop the suture over and over, knotting it three times.

"I like weird stuff. I've never seen someone do this to themselves before. Did you numb it?"

"Nope."

"That's hardcore," she whispered.

"Well," he said, "let's put it this way. I've been through worse than a few stitches."

She watched him snip off the suture and then waited patiently as he made the final stitch on the other side.

"Why not just start from one end and work your way back?"

"Nah, you want the skin to close in the middle then work in halfs. It works better that way. Skin puckers and if you go from one end and work your way down you gotta use a lock stitch. I'm not that fancy."

"William Baeur," she muttered as he closed the third stitch, "not fancy."

"You got it Spooky."

He reached over and busted open a packet of ointment, covering the wound with gauze and began to wrap it around his arm.

"So. Um. Anyway," she muttered, leaning back as he covered up the wound, "You should totally go and forgive Sebastian now."

He leveled a look at her.

"Really? That's what this about?"

She crossed her arm. "What? I came over. I told you that he did the right thing. I held your weird needle and gave you beer."

"And you think that's going to fix all the issues?"

She threw her hands up. "If I hadn't been—"

"Abigail," William said, rubbing his forehead as if it could stave off the headache that was forming behind his eyes, "I think you mean well but in case you forget, Sebastian kissed you. Not the other way around."

She stamped one booted foot on the ground, glaring at him.

"Damn it, Sasquatch. My friend is sad. He misses you."

"Yeah? Well then he can march his emo ass up here and deal with me himself instead of sending his spooky little beard to do it for him."

She scowled. "He doesn't know I'm here, okay." She paced for another minute before blurting, "And you dumped him! I bet he doesn't want to look pathetic. Besides, I figure it's my fault anyway."

William began cleaning up his mess, not wanting to look at her earnest face. He didn't LIKE the bitchy little shit and beer offering non-withstanding, he couldn't figure why she was here when she clearly didn't like him either. Still, she'd been a trooper. And she hadn't tried to boss him to the doctor. He let out a breath.

"Look, it's not that simple. Our issues? They're not going to get fixed just because you came up here to apologize."

"Well why the hell not?

He was tired. His arm hurt. He groaned and tossed the rest of the trash into the fire.

"Spooks. You mean well. That's sweet. But it's late. I have sort of had a rough day and the crops aren't going to water themselves tomorrow," he turned, intending on booting her ass outside.

She stood in front of him. "No. I'm not leaving until you tell me why you're giving up on Seb."

"Because," he said, "he's not out, Abigail. I won't be a secret."

She scowled. "You are a selfish bastard. Do you think just because you two have hooked up a few times he has some sort of obligation to live like you do?"

He felt his shoulders tighten.

"I didn't say he had to. But I also didn't say that I had to just put up with being his secret, did I?"

She threw her hands up. "William. You've lived here less than a season. You think you can just march in and dictate the way the town runs? Just change everything because you want to?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you, woman." His head was really pounding now.

Abigail didn't let up. "All I'm asking is that you give him a chance again. You broke his heart!"

His temper flared. He punched the mantle with his good hand and she jumped flinching from him.

"I broke my OWN heart, Abigail," he snarled. He gave her the full force of his gaze, furious with her meddling. Furious with how much he wanted something for pain. Furious that he hadn't been there when Manuel had died and very much wanting to be left the hell alone. "Or did you ever consider that it might have been hard on me too?"

She swallowed then narrowed her eyes. "Yeah well, you will get over it. Sebastian don't get over pain so easily." She stalked over and gathered her things. She looked over her shoulder at him, "you're welcome for the help. And for the beer. Just think about it."

He stood by the fire as she left and then stumbled and sagged into his mattress. He let out a breath and rolled on his side, keeping all the weight off his arm. Think about it? Didn't the dumb bitch realize that all he wanted to do was NOT think?

Because if he thought too much he'd probably end up doing something way worse than breaking a heart.

He held up his hand in the growing shadows of his room, but he could still remember the way the needle felt sinking into his skin. Only he hadn't let himself have a single drop of anything that could give him relief in a very long time.


	28. Chapter 28

"And you just told them? Just like that? DUDE. I am so freaking proud of you."

Sebastian felt his face flush at the praise and absently shoved his shoulder into Sam's, making his Jumino cart veer off the track. It had been three day since he's officially come out to his family and he'd been recovering from the stress by throwing himself into work. He'd not yet gotten around to telling his mom about his relationship with William. He'd gotten bolder but there was a huge difference between admitting he like men to specifically Introducing a man.

"Focus on the road," he said, not wanting to focus on this subject any more than he had to.

Sam grinned and then Sebastian 8 bit cart lapped Sam's cart.

"Dude," Sebastian complained, "You're not even a challenge anymore."

"Whatever," Sam said, "Abby will be here soon and we can start band practice. Which is good because we've got a gig coming up this weekend."

He perked up. "We do?"

"Yeah, I got a call back from a festival. They need a group to do their live show. I sent them our demo last month and we got the gig."

"Nice," Sebastian said, impressed. "You know, you keep this up and we'll start getting booked more than once a month," he teased. Sam scowled and rolled his eyes. "You got to take this seriously man. Today, small town festivals. Tomorrow? Headlining in major cities."

Sebastian chuckled and then stood up, rolling his head on his shoulders. "Fine, fine. Want to try and record another video for the MeTube channel tonight?"

"Maybe," Sam said, turning off the monitor and storing the controllers.

"You got any new songs?"

Sam shrugged and Sebastian shoved him again, grinning.

"Don't be shy dude. Your songs are good."

Sam ducked his head and pulled the carpet over, plugging up the amps. "You're a good friend to lie to me that way."

"Who's lying?"

They looked up to see Abigail coming into Sam's bedroom. He hesitated, because this was the first time that they'd really interacted since that their conversation, but if she had reservations about seeing them, she had them well-hidden. She nodded at him and tossed her bag on the floor, flopping onto her stool. He let out a breath at that avoided bomb and turned on his keyboard.

"No one," Sam said, casting Sebastian a glare, that said, 'Do It And Die.' Sebastian ignored him.

"Sam's got a new song and won't show me."

Abby brightened, resting her drumsticks on her stand. "A new song!?"

"I don't," Sam protested. "It's not ready."

Abby grinned and then sat down at her set, tapping her sticks together.

"Okay, well, then. I guess you'll just show us when you're ready." Sebastian blew a raspberry out of disappointment. Usually Abby joined in on any chance to help him tease Sam. She rolled her eyes.

"Grow up, Seb. He doesn't want to. Now, I didn't come all the way down here for nothing. Your text said that we managed to get a gig this weekend, right?"

Sam relaxed and plugged in his guitar. "Yup. So let's work on our set list."

Sebastian ran his fingers over the keys then shook his head, "You guys suck. Yeah okay, let's get to it."

Abby began a steady beat and Sam began to play some chords over it. Sebastian ran his fingers over the keys and then began to pound out the opening bridge to _Hard to Handle_ by Black Crowes. Abby jumped in on the drums and Sam grinned. Abigail raised her brows at him then tapped the cymbals as joined in at the chorus of " _sure hard to handle_ "

He'd missed this, he realized, playing the keyboard as Sam sang. He'd missed the routine of band practice and the easy way they all three found the rhythm and music together. Telling his parents, telling Abby…he felt free. His fingers rolled along the keys as Sam begged an unknown pretty mama to light her candle. He and Abby's voices blended into backup vocals and he laughed as Sam gave a goofy jump while throwing his arm around in wide circle on his guitar.

Abby changed the drum beat and shouted, " _Your Love!"_

It was all the prompting they needed. Sam shifted his guitar, then took over the opening versus. Sebastian threw himself into the harmonies and they sang it together, playing three encore endings as they each did their own riff. Sam began to play a holding pattern of chords while they looked at Sebastian. In a pause in Sam's chords, Sebastian began _All Right Now_ and Abigail and Sam picked it up enthusiastically. Sam faced them while he sang and Abby grinned. They finished with their signature set piece: _Bat Out of Hell_ , Sebastian's personal favorite.

They ended it and Abigail laughed, clapping her drumsticks together.

"You want me to see if Mom will let us use the truck to haul up our gear?" Sebastian asked. None of them had a car. What was the point in their tinyass town? Where would they go? Sebastian had his bike for those occasional trips and otherwise, he begged the truck off his mom.

Abby scooted her chair back.

"Sounds good to me. Where are we playing?"

"Victoryburg," Sam said, putting his guitar on a stand, "We made the cut called us back about that spring festival they have. We're going to do an hour on their live show rotation."

"Oooh, I like the Victoryburg Festival. Rides and snacks and stuff."

Sebastian pulled the cover over the keyboard, losing his smile.

Last year when they'd managed to get a gig at the same festival and he'd spent a post-performance hour of it hooking up with a stranger he'd met at the beer tent. They'd hidden in the back of the guy's pick-up truck and he'd felt so stressed about possibly getting caught, he hadn't even enjoyed it.

He couldn't even remember the guy's name.

"You should invite William," Abigail announced.

He and Sam both snapped their eyes up at her, Sam in surprise, Sebastian in alarm.

"Don't really like sticking my hand in fire, Abby."

She rolled her eyes. "You gotta fight for this, Seb," she said, crossing her arms. "It's not something that comes along every day!"

He let out a bark of a laugh and said, "If you're worried about me, don't be. I can get laid just fine without Will."

"Yeah well, dirty hook ups in rest stop bathrooms versus someone who gives a shit about you is a stark difference. Besides. I think he misses you."

"Abby," Sam said suspiciously, "What did you do?"

She flushed red and fiddled with her backpack. "Do? Me? Who said I did anything?"

Sam groaned. "Abigail, you said you were going to let it alone."

"When did she say that?" Sebastian asked, suddenly on alert.

"When she left my place last night," Sam said.

"I said I was going to leave SEBASTIAN alone."

"Telling me to ask William out isn't leaving it alone, Abby," Sebastian muttered.

She stomped her foot. "You two morons like each other! There was a misunderstanding and anyway, William is being a selfish, bossy prick."

Sebastian felt the beginnings of an Abigail induced headache forming at the back of his head. Probably from his clenched jaw.

"Whatever. It's not like I'm going to get a chance to see him anyway. He's banned from the bar on the one night I go there and if I'm not in my room, I'm with you two. So. Problem solved."

Abigail blew a set of bangs out of her eyes then plopped on Sam's bed while Seb went towards the door.

"I'll see you guys Saturday," he told him as he left both his friends behind, "and stay out of my love-life Abigail."

And with those parting words, he was out.

William looked down at the little plot of land that he'd planted his Jumino-gifted seeds on and wondered, seriously wondered, what the hell had been in the Wizard's potion.

He'd taken it the night before, right after his first strawberry harvest. His arm was healing up fine and he figured he'd snip and remove his stitches in the next couple of days. Feeling daring and with no one around him to tell him what a bad idea it was to take mysterious potions.

He'd passed out upon taking it and when he woke up, he'd felt…different.

Not bad different. Just, more aware and alert.

Which was why when he was looking down at his plot of land, he could almost detect which plants were going to grow into a nicer and bigger version of what he was trying to achieve. Their leaves were fuller, their stalks stronger.

His other seeds had sprouted bigger as well and he shifted his bucket as he started weeding and pruning his crops. William went through the field and began to pull potatoes, kale, green beans, parsnips and cauliflowers into separate bins. At the rate he was going with his harvests, he was going to have to get some sort of wagon or truck to haul it all back and forth. He carefully packed up the strawberries on top of his daily harvest and headed to Pierre's.

Hours later, he still was in shock at the amount of money Pierre had slid over for the strawberries.

"It's the season for them, Bill," Pierre had said with a chuckle. "Those things are like red gold during spring. Bring me more whenever you have the chance."

He nodded, then looked down at his dead cell phone.

He'd conveniently forgotten to charge it at Jodi's, because despite his promise to his Mom, he was avoiding calling Cameron. He wasn't ready for even a toe to touch back into that part of his life. And if he could put off delving into their past for a little while longer, he was willing to gather the excuses.

He shook the gold in his pocket then looked up at the sky. It was still pretty bright in the day, he reckoned. Robin would be home and probably alone. That decided him.

He went north. Time to get a new expansion on his house.

Sebastian's Mom looked pensive when he came upstairs at his normal evening social time. He looked left and right but Maru and Demetrius were busy with their own studying and work.

"Sebastian," his mom said, her eyes scanning plans on her table, "Do you know if Jim changed his number?"

Jim was her electrical guy. Sebastian had run cables and wires for him during the summers of high school, the short-term electrician's gig helping him save up enough for his first computer build. Sebastian actually had a certificate for electrician's work even though he'd never bothered to get licensed and bonded.

"Yeah, he's retired," Sebastian said, leaning against the door. "Why?"

"Shoot!" she grunted, leaned back and rubbing her head. "I can't get Michael or Amanda until next month and Jim was my last hope."

He shrugged. "So tell the client that you've had a setback."

"If it were any other client I might," his mom said, looking back over the plans. "But it's Farmer Bill and his house is in need of so much work, I'd rather not put it off. Look at this, Seb, no wiring anywhere. What the hell was his grandpa thinking when he'd put that shack together?"

Sebastian remembered William's home. Cozy but absolutely rural.

"I could do it," he said.

She blinked and looked up.

"But, I thought you said…" she shook her head, and Sebastian remembered what she was referring to. It had been a long summer and he'd put in over 100 hours one week with her at a particularly frustrating job site. Their general contractor had created ridiculous last minute changes and he'd been stuck in an attic for over half the day, his skin itching from insulation and irritating flies that had plagued the jobsite. After they'd finished, he'd declared that there wasn't enough money in the world to ever make him lug one more damn coil of wires up into the hot-as-hell attic. He'd slept for three days after they'd finished the contract and he'd joined the computer club as soon as his junior year started.

"C'mon, mom. It's a small job. It's like, what, a kitchen expanse and some updating on the bedroom? It'll take us three or four days. Tops." He leaned over the plans, even though he'd personally been in that house less than a couple of weeks ago. "See? Maybe it'll need four boxes. I can do the install and you can call the county power company to come out and hook him into the main system.

She relaxed. "You're a life saver, son. Yes, absolutely. You can have part of the commission."

He waved a hand as he headed towards the kitchen. "Just take it out of my rent."

He tried to act casually while she went back to scratching notes on the side of the plans. He washed some of the dishes in the sink. Dried his hands. No one came in. He opened the fridge, looked inside then snagged a drink. Deciding that was enough of being 'social' he retreated, waving as he passed her again. He closed his bedroom door behind himself and leaned against it, his heart pounding.

Had he been casual enough? Had he made it cavalier enough? He shook his head, put his drink down, kicked his shoes off, and flopped onto his bed, groaning at how stupid he was being. He hadn't run lines in a while and actually DIDN'T particularly enjoy the manual labor. This was going to be a disaster.

But he couldn't help it. A chance to see Will again? Maybe make some headway on what an idiot he'd been? He looked up at the ceiling and let out a long breath.

No telling how it would go. But Abby was right. It was time to fight for it.

It was a beautiful and sunny day when Robin drove her truck full of wood and supplies onto William's property. He stepped out onto the porch, a mug of instant-coffee in one hand and he waved at her. Then almost choked on his coffee. Because sitting shot-gun in her truck cab was Sebastian.

He hopped out with his mom and began unloading wood from the back of the truck as Robin crossed, coming over to greet him.

"Well, look at all this," she said, looking at the fenced off rows of crops that he had in square and even lines. "Where are you running your sprinkler lines from?"

His eyes glued to Sebastian, he nodded his head towards the south end of the far, the part that creeped towards the Cindersap forest, "I've got a pipe running from the lake up here. Put in a pump house last week."

She let out a low whistle. "You're handy William."

He shrugged and took a longer sip of coffee, still staring at Sebastian and his surprising ease at hauling out sawhorses and power tools.

"I manage," he said, hating himself for appreciating the lines of Sebastian's body as he set up a work table and the generator for their job site.

"Well," Robin said, "I figure that by the end of the week we'll have your house ready. Going to start on the kitchen today and get the wiring done, then tomorrow we'll fill in after doing the framing. You should be fine staying the night though. We'll clean up as much as possible."

He finally faced her, pulling his attention from checking out her son.

"Sounds like you've got it worked out. Gimme a minute to clear out."

William escaped back into his house and privately reminded himself that he was done with the sideshow that had been trying to date Sebastian. Told himself firmly that it didn't matter that Sebastian looked better than ever today. Told his dick specifically that it was not in the driver's seat today. Even if the attractive looking bastard was doing some work at his house. He grabbed his backpack, prepared for a long day in the Mines and therefore away from his potential troublemaker that was APPARENTLY now a fucking handyman on top of being a smart, computer whiz. He was going to Just Say No the way all good addicts were supposed to.

Just as he'd sat down to tie on his boots, there was a knock. Figuring it was Robin, he called, "Come in!"

Clearly the universe took, "No" as a challenge. Sebastian walked in, a clip board in his hand and a belt around his hips, heavy with tools.

He wasn't wearing his characteristic hoodie, instead he had on a black t-shirt with his mom's woodworking logo on the right breast. His jeans weren't the usual tight emo-gear that he favored either, instead he had on a pair of cargo pants with big pockets.

William thought that tight pants had been good for Sebastian's ass. Nope. Apparently, low slung cargos were just as generous to his ex-boyfriend's sleek body.

William stared up at him and wasn't sure what to say. Sebastian closed the door behind him and glanced around the one room cabin. William remained silent. Afraid what he'd say. Afraid to say anything actually. He'd made his feelings clear last time and he knew that any words he spoke would muddy that clarity.

"Hey," Sebastian said, after William refused to break the silence.

"Hey."

Sebastian looked back down at the clipboard and then around the room. He hesitated though, the easy confidence he'd shown in the yard retreating into the more familiar anxiety that he associated with Sebastian.

"Came to mark where we're going to demo and where I'm going to have to add wiring."

William waved a hand. "By all means."

Sebastian nodded then turned his back to him, beginning to run a grease pencil in 'x's on sections of the wall. William watched him as he tied his boots. Then retied them. Then William took his time blousing the pant leg. Finally, when he realized he was considering changing his belts he decided to just spill out the question that had been plaguing him since he'd left Sebastian alone in that grove.

"How have you been?"

Sebastian's shoulder stiffened, then he shrugged, "Good. Um, real good actually." He turned and looked over at him. His look caught William by the heart, his breathing hitched at that intense look. Sebastian did look good. His gaze was clearer and his shoulders were straighter.

"You should know," he said, "I came out to my family last week."

William stared, taking in the news.

In his silence, Sebastian looked back at the clipboard and then at the wall. "I thought a lot about what you said. And you were right. What I did? It was immature. And you were right. I'm not expecting anything. I just wanted you to know that I took it to heart."

William swallowed then stood up, scooping up his backpack. "That's really great, Bastian," he said softly, adjusting the straps. "How'd they take it?"

Sebastian grinned and ducked his head, his face flushing. He pushed a lock of hair over his ear and William felt a jolt of arousal coil in his belly. Damn, happy was a good look on Sebastian.

"They did good. Real good, actually," he said, still smiling, "I probably should have done it sooner, actually."

William nodded, uncomfortable, the unspoken 'because then maybe you would have stayed' was between them. He jerked his thumb at the door.

"I'm uh, heading to the mines, but I'll be back around noon. You guys think you'll be taking a break around then?"

"You doing okay since you got hurt?"

He cocked head head. "What?"

Sebastian jerked his chin at William's arm. "You got hurt a few days ago. My sister told me. You okay?"

He shrugged. "Fine. It wasn't nothing. Your sister is a worry wart. Showed up the next day with antibiotics and a lecture."

Sebastian chuckled. "She's bossy is all."

"Right. Well. Take it easy, okay?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Mom's the foreman and she's a pretty tough boss. So, unlikely."

He had to stop this easiness. Had to put some distance between what they'd been and what they were. William gave a quick nod then reached out, clapping Sebastian on the back, intending it to be a 'good job' type of pat, something heteronormative that would place their distance, but Sebastian was faster, and he locked those long fingers around his wrist.

"I miss you."

"You'll get over it," William whispered, but even though he could have snapped his hand back, he left it in Sebastian's warm wrist-lock, too intrigued to leave just yet.

"Don't do that, Will," he said softly, his fingers still tight, "don't try and pretend it wasn't real."

William's heart was pounding now. What was happening?

"Because I want you to know," his fingers tightened, "I'm not giving up on us."

William opened and closed his mouth, off-balance. Then he scowled.

"You think we can just pick up where we left off? You think it's that easy? Just because you want it now?" Will said, keeping his voice low in case Robin was close.

"I don't. I acted badly," Sebastian said. "That doesn't mean I don't miss you though. And it doesn't mean that I don't want to find a way back to where we were."

William's mouth went dry at the confession.

Because this was the first time that he could remember that Sebastian had made even the first effort at pursuing him instead of the other way around.

Sebastian let go of his wrist then and nodded at the door.

"See you when you get back," he said.

William nodded, unable to think of something to say.

Maybe if Sebastian's mom hadn't been there things would have gone differently. Maybe he would have just done what he'd always done whenever he wanted something…he'd take it.

But things weren't different and he needed to be able to think about what exactly Sebastian was offering before he made any more mistakes in his week.

As mistake counters went, William's was already too damn high.

-

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
Thank you for the comments and reviews!


	29. Chapter 29

p class="western"It had been literal years since Sebastian last did manual labor./p  
p class="western"His mom, so chatty when they were in social groups, slipped into her normal work mode as soon as Will was gone. Which meant that her orders were brusque and direct. He had work to do and had no time to think about William, who was looking ripped and gorgeous as he stomped off towards the mines to smash things and probably get more cuts and bruises doing whatever macho bullshit he seemed obsessed with. He'd said he was coming back at noon./p  
p class="western"Did he mean it?/p  
p class="western""Seb, go get the tarps," his mom said, pulling him out of that particular anxiety spiral./p  
p class="western"He pull tarps out of the truck, added gas to the generator and then got to work./p  
p class="western"They dug up the spot for the new foundation and then their delivery came. It was rebar to reinforce the foundation groundwork. While he was hauling the rebar into the hole, his mom had laid out pipes for the gas and water lines./p  
p class="western""Careful that you don't expand it past that spot I marked," his mom said, pointing to the left. He frowned at her, dragging more of the rebar cages over./p  
p class="western""What's going there?"/p  
p class="western""His basement expansion."/p  
p class="western""We're doing that too? Mom. We're not going to dig a basement in a week."/p  
p class="western"She shrugged and pushed her hair out of her eyes. "I've got a feeling about the farmer," she said, reaching over and straightening her framework for the foundation, "and it's better to be prepared for the future, son."/p  
p class="western"Sebastian frowned. "What sort of feeling could you have about Will?"/p  
p class="western"His mom paused in her work and glanced up at him. He felt as though she were measuring him. As if he'd revealed something important but he couldn't fathom what she'd noticed or seen. Then she went back to work, nodding for him to pull the last of the reinforcements down into their hole./p  
p class="western""Just that he's going to be settling with us here in the Valley," she said, her gloved hands matching the rebar joints with the same ease that other moms might fold a basket of laundry. Yet, this was her realm- the realm of building things. The realm of creating shelter and art in the same act. He shrugged off her cryptic words. It was unlikely he'd be able to pull more from her without a pair of plyers. He hopped out of the dirt hole and went back up to where they'd set the saw station to cut down the framing boards./p  
p class="western"They worked for hours; he and his mom measuring and cutting boards, ripping out drywall that concealed the beams he needed to use to start the electrical install, laying out the plywood that would be the beginning of the new walls. It was steady and quiet work. They didn't chat other than to pass materials back and forth. Their only shared words were his mom's terse instructions and his grunts of acknowledgment./p  
p class="western"They worked alone until their concrete truck pulled up./p  
p class="western"Their steady effort was interrupted by a sudden construction frenzy. The team that had accompanied the truck poured concrete over their prepared plot, shoving as much of it as possible into every nook and cranny, running long and slender sticks of wood over the entire plot before leaving it so it could cure. It took two hours before they'd finished, but by 11, they were done and gone./p  
p class="western"Sebastian and his mom worked till noon. Once the sun was high in the sky, his mom clapped him on his shoulder—the signal for break time. They sat on the lip of her truck, sharing cold drinks from the thermos while eating sandwiches. But William didn't come by like he'd said he might./p  
p class="western""Demetrius is the best cook," his mom declared when she opened her lunchbox to see he'd cut some cheese into heart shapes. Sebastian let the words pull him back into the present. William had probably decided that it was best to avoid him after all. He frowned down at his own lunch with similarly shaped cheese snacks./p  
p class="western""What, does he think we're five?"/p  
p class="western"His mom grinned at him, love-struck, and stupid as always when it came to Demetrius./p  
p class="western""Dem is a good man, Sebby," she chided./p  
p class="western""When he's minding his own business, maybe," he said./p  
p class="western"He interrupted any further conversations by shoving the first cheese slice into his mouth and waggling his brows at his mom./p  
p class="western""You know, Farmer Bill is also a good man."/p  
p class="western"His master plan of not talking was foiled by a sudden inhale of cheese particles into his lungs. His lungs protested this invasion and began evasive maneuvers. These operations were performed by an intense coughing fit that had his mom pounding his back as he choke-wheezed./p  
p class="western""Goodness," his mom said, taking his lunch away from him and raising his arms above his head. After a moment, he was able to get a decent breath, but his eyes were watering from the sudden pain of near-death by cheese./p  
p class="western""What?" he croaked as his mom shoved a thermos at him. He gulped iced tea and after a moment had his breathing under control./p  
p class="western""Looks like the thought of Farmer Bill leaves you a bit flatfooted," she chuckled, handing him back his lunch./p  
p class="western""Mom," he said, "please don't tell me that you've already swapped match-making targets."/p  
p class="western"She raised a brow then waggled her own brows back at him, then bit into her sandwich. She didn't choke. So unfair./p  
p class="western"He shook his head and stared at Will's house. He saw her plans in his mind's eye like a set of transparent lines over the work that was currently there. They still needed to get the frame for the addition on, but that would come tomorrow after the concrete cured. Today he was going to run lines and install the power boxes and do the testing. Tomorrow they'd frame it up, install the counters and cabinets, and then attach the main power. Maybe they'd get it all done in a day. They'd been making good time thus far./p  
p class="western""You know, Sebastian," his mom said into the quiet of his thoughts, I really wish you'd have told us sooner. Was that why you quit grid ball?"/p  
p class="western"Record scratch on his thoughts./p  
p class="western"He shifted on the truck bed and ate some more so he wouldn't have to answer. She was looking at him with Mom Eyes, too soft and understanding. He knew, maybe, he should say something, but…it had happened so long ago. He had never wanted them to know. Had never wanted anyone to know. The locker room incident was so far in the past that even thinking about it was like watching an event happen to someone else./p  
p class="western"Instead, he said, "Not because I was gay. Because…it wasn't me. Grid ball was just an attempt to prove to myself that I could get over it. I decided I wasn't going to do that anymore."/p  
p class="western"It was partly true. His mom cocked her head then shrugged, willing to let it go, at least this time./p  
p class="western""Well. I meant what I said. About Farmer Bill being a good guy. And Jodi said that he's gay too, you know."/p  
p class="western"He looked at her sideways./p  
p class="western""I see."/p  
p class="western""Because you know, whoever you bring home, we only care that they treat you well."/p  
p class="western"He flushed. He took another bite of food and knew his face was turning bright colors but he couldn't help it. His mom had no idea how reckless he'd been when it came to his relationships. She didn't know about the clumsy hand jobs in bathrooms or his first, disastrous college boyfriend who'd ended up being such a disappointment that he'd barely touched another physical person until William. She had no clue that he'd been a freaking nightmare to date, had dumped all his anxieties and baggage on William like so many rocks. No wonder the guy was gun-shy about trying again. Hell, the indomitable Mr. In-Your-Face hadn't even had the desire to leave the mines for lunch./p  
p class="western"Sebastian sipped from the thermos and focused on the porch that was currently covered in sawdust and a stack of wood. That porch where they had done emthings/em. Shame heated his cheeks but at least the exertion of the day could disguise the embarrassment as sunburn./p  
p class="western""Thanks, Mom," he said, bumping her arm with his shoulder. She smiled then brushed the crumbs off her lap. He did the same and pulled his work gloves back on./p  
p class="western""So," he said, nodding towards the coils, "shall we dance?"/p  
p class="western"She mimed rolling up her sleeves, "Thought you'd never ask."/p  
p class="western"*/p  
p class="western"William had never been a fan of big gyms. He'd never liked fancy exercise equipment and sharing his air with muscular walking dumbbells that were more interested in the appearance of their bodies than the function. Plus, the rampant homophobia that existed in most exercising spaces had just caused him to avoid the stupid sweat factories./p  
p class="western"The military had a better attitude about the entire process of building one's body up. You did it through effort and purpose. Hike 15 miles while carrying another human on your back. Pour yourself out into a mold of a soldier to come back even stronger than before./p  
p class="western"When he was in boot camp, he worked hard because the soldier next to him was going to need his best./p  
p class="western"Today though? His effort was all about trying to process his stupid, fucking, brain before he gave into what Sebastian was offering. Not that he was completely sure Sebastian emknew/em what he was offering./p  
p class="western"He slammed the pickaxe down and let it be a metronome to the whirlwind of his thoughts./p  
p class="western"Fact 1- He and Sebastian had electric chemistry. William had tried, at first, to tell himself that their connection was as a simple right place, right time. They'd been able to scratch a mutual itch better than most. Yet the near month they'd spent together had proven, to him at least, that Sebastian eased something in his chest. His touch could clear the shadows from his brain. He had a way of bringing the world into perspective. Worst, part of him believed that Sebastian needed him, or at least made him feel like he did. And no one had needed William in a damn long time./p  
p class="western"His pickaxe shattered a few rocks and he collected up the copper ore. Checked his watch. Three hours until noon. He had time./p  
p class="western"Fact 2- Sebastian was terrified of the whole damn world and William hadn't understood it. He'd pushed him into being open, pushed him into accepting him, even though saner people that Sebastian had tried and failed. Which made Spooky right, damn it. He was a selfish bastard./p  
p class="western"His pickaxe smashed another rock and revealed a ladder. Nice. He propped it to the side, judged the drop and then began to climb down, sticking a torch against the wall as he did so./p  
p class="western"For a moment, his scattered thoughts were lost in the beauty of the new cave that he'd found. He shivered, the temperature dropping. These mines were unlike anything connected to true reality. The longer he'd explored them, the more he realized that there couldn't have been any way that a company would have abandoned them for any normal and explainable reason. The magic that existed in this strange place had changed it utterly./p  
p class="western"William passed an elevator shaft and looked around. All around him was open space spotted with ore-rich stone. He laid down a torch to mark his path and began his descent once more, still chewing on his problems./p  
p class="western"Fact 3- He missed Sebastian. Missed him like an ache in his side. He'd thought, stupidly, that once he'd ended things, it would be like it always was when he was done with a relationship. He'd just move on, with no desire to talk to his ex….Cameron didn't count but then again, he hadn't decided to end that, now had he?/p  
p class="western"He smashed another hole and found a new shaft. He followed it down, going deeper, mentally tracking where he was in relation to the elevator. He marked his path with torches and followed his instincts, marching deeper into the cold, dark caverns. He kept his senses on alert, his mind still turning over the tricky problem of what to do about his logical brain (End things as they were. Minimize pain) and his heart (One more try)./p  
p class="western"Fact 4- He felt like he was slipping and he didn't know how to stop. He'd been out of support groups for 9 months. He'd been isolated and alone for almost a week, outside of dropping off his laundry and setting up his home expansion, he'd barely seen another person. His body ached now worse than before and he knew he was pushing himself too hard, but he couldn't help it. To be still for too long was to invite the whispers back, to remember how good it felt NOT to feel./p  
p class="western"William turned a corridor, mind adjusting the compass of the mines in relation to his elevator./p  
p class="western"The mines were bizarrely broken, their layout confusing with no safety features installed for the previous miners. Perhaps it wasn't so bad that they were no longer in commercial use. He didn't care because there was one thing the mines had that nowhere else in his peaceful little valley had./p  
p class="western"Danger./p  
p class="western"As soon as he entered the next level, he could hear the wingbeats of giant bats. He couldn't see them, not yet./p  
p class="western"He'd fought them before and knew their pattern: dive bombing unsuspecting trespassers in the darkness./p  
p class="western"He stepped back into the glow of torches. He was ready for them today. When the first one came out of the black, he spread his legs, balancing the way he'd been trained. William had swapped his pickaxe to his off-hand and drew his sword. He waited and then, with a sudden blur of motion, he slammed the blade into the screaming creature. The bat bounced off the blade, dazed. There was a line of hot, smelly, blood splattering across his face and the mine shaft. That splatter of gore eased a craving he had within him, something visceral and dark that had been hungry for violence and the need to rend and tear ever since he'd been medically discharged from active duty./p  
p class="western"This was life or death—because more bats were emerging around him, long teeth dripping with green saliva. William screamed a challenge at them and they screamed back. The first bat lunged at him again, bleeding but crazed with aggression and hate./p  
p class="western"William slashed it out of the air and felt his lips stretching in a smile as the little fucker cracked against the blade./p  
p class="western"Did Sebastian really want this?/p  
p class="western"He'd warned him, back on the ocean. No one really wanted crazy. They thought they did, but the amount of instability that lay at his own core was so overwhelming that he couldn't process it. And William wasn't sure that Sebastian had even begun to understand the bullet he dodged./p  
p class="western"He stepped forward and shoved the point of his sword down onto the writhing monster and then turned, catching the next one on the blade. He dispatched that one just as brutally, blood dripping on his skin, on his clothes, and on the walls./p  
p class="western"Being with Sebastian had helped with that disassociated greyness, but nothing cured his ennui like a fight. He heard more of the cloud of bats, more of the colony summoned to do battle with the intruder. William shoved back against them, his thoughts straightening up with each swing of his blade, laying out the facts in neat, orderly rows./p  
p class="western"He'd pursued Sebastian when he knew that he was in the closet./p  
p class="western"He'd practically stalked the fucker./p  
p class="western"He'd pushed him./p  
p class="western"He'd shoved him, shoved him so hard that Sebastian had been forced to push back./p  
p class="western"And it was fucked up./p  
p class="western"And Sebastian, the poor guy, deserved better./p  
p class="western"The bat crawled at his feet, screaming its outrage, dragging a broken wing, little red eyes full of hate. He shoved the tip of his blade down on the creature and it died, bloody and gruesome./p  
p class="western"He looked around and was surrounded by the disgusting little corpses. He stayed tense but it was finished. The battle was done. He let out a breath and rubbed at his bloody face./p  
p class="western"Every day had pulled into a pattern: Get up. Water his crops, harvest what was ready, go sell them to Pierre, then to the Mines, where he broke stones and lost himself in the repetitive hunt for ores and monsters./p  
p class="western"He was an aggressive hamster on a wheel and how was that any different than staying back in the city?/p  
p class="western"William pulled out his handkerchief, wet it from his canteen and wiped his face, turning the white square blood red. Jodi was getting tired of washing the blood out of his clothes. Soon he wouldn't have to bother her with it. He sheathed the sword, collected his things, and then turned towards his next ladder. He descended and shivered. If the last level had been cool, this one was practically frozen. He looked around and realized on this level of the mines, everything was covered in ice./p  
p class="western"It was beautiful, he thought, looking around the room. He experimentally chipped around the rocks, looking to see if there were any more veins of ore when a few blue fragments shattered against a wall. He frowned and knelt./p  
p class="western"It was a blue stone in a teardrop shape. William swallowed and shivered, touching the strange little crystal./p  
p class="western"He's found ores. He'd found gemstones. But there was something captivating about this particular stone; like someone had taken a tear and frozen it into the beautiful and sad shape. He swallowed and rolled it through his fingers, the smooth side coming to a point./p  
p class="western"William stared at the tear and remembered with painful clarity the last time he'd cried, last time he'd been able to give release to his emotions without using pain, without using euphoria or rage./p  
p class="western"It had been in his room, with Sebastian underneath him, his thready breathing, passionate cries and desperate touches coaxing out William's fear and internalized horror into something beautiful between them. He took the punishment, took all William had given him and loved it. In that moment, with Sebastian's face burned into his memory, he'd known down to the scars on his soul that what they'd had was more than sex. And it scared the shit out of him./p  
p class="western"He sank on his heels and in that moment, he realized…this wasn't living. William looked at the mine and his breath clouded around his face./p  
p class="western"Since when had he ever run away from a situation?/p  
p class="western"He sure as fuck wasn't going to do it again./p  
p class="western"William closed his fingers around the little crystal tear, his realization locked on finding the gem. He knew exactly who he was going to give it to. He gathered up his pickaxe, eyes skimming the walls for his exit./p  
p class="western"That was when he heard the scraping of claws on ice./p  
p class="western"Before he could react, intense pain shot through his hand, the little gem careening out of his fingers and sliding across the ice. He had a slice over his fingers, a bolt of jagged ice next to the little gem. He closed and opened his hand. It was sore but it worked. William looked up and felt sensible, instinctive, terror crawl through him./p  
p class="western"Standing between him and his exit was a large, black furred humanoid shaped monster with four arms and glowing, red, eyes. And the asshole was armed too. William identified a bow in its first hand, a mysteriously glowing blue ball in it's second and with sharp claws tipping off the other two appendages rounding out its nastiness. William backed down and knelt, never letting his eyes leave the dark creature, easily a head taller than he was./p  
p class="western"His fingers touched the little teardrop and he narrowed his eyes. He was tired, alright, but he'd promised Sebastian he'd be back in an hour. He was done hiding down here and just had one monster in the way? Piece of cake./p  
p class="western""That all you got, fugly?" he asked as he stood up, putting the gem into his pocket./p  
p class="western"It roared and from the other shadows, ten more creatures stepped out of the icy darkness./p  
p class="western"William stiffened then crouched, his hand starting to seep blood from where the bastard had grazed him. He squeezed and shifted the grip on his pickaxe, drawing his sword./p  
p class="western""Alright," he muttered, "looks like that's enough."/p  
p class="western"His focus narrowed to his goal: the ladder out./p  
p class="western"So maybe instead of a piece of cake, it was a whole cake. Too bad for them./p  
p class="western"He rolled his head and then they moved and William shouted, blade raised for battle./p  
p class="western"emI'm coming back, Sebastian. Just wait for me./em/p  
p class="western"*/p  
p class="western"Sebastian was on his back, under the porch, a flashlight in his mouth when he heard his mom call at him./p  
p class="western""I'm calling it a night, Sebby,"/p  
p class="western"He spat out the light and pulled himself out a bit to see her. She was tired, and to be fair, so was he. But, he hadn't finished the last of his installs, and he really wanted a chance to get this done before they started the next steps tomorrow. And. Will hadn't come home yet./p  
p class="western""Go on," he called, sliding back underneath the house, "I've not got much more. I want this done before the power company comes tomorrow."/p  
p class="western"It was cooler at night at least, and while the light wasn't ideal, it was still better than trying to do this in the heat of the day./p  
p class="western""Alright. But don't stay out too late. I intend to be here early."/p  
p class="western"He waved an arm and went back to threading the wiring./p  
p class="western"Maybe a half hour later, he heard footsteps, but they didn't sound like the normal steps his mom made. Instead they were slow, as if the person walking was dragging each foot in front of the other./p  
p class="western"Ingrid dashed across his legs in the dark to greet whoever the walker was and he realized it had to be Will. He closed his eyes and let out a breath, but if he was being honest, this was what he'd wanted by staying behind. A reason to really talk with Will again. A way to prove to him that he'd meant what he'd said and that he wasn't running away./p  
p class="western"Will's absence had been a sore point all day and he was low-key irritated that he'd lied about coming back, but then, he never thought this was going to be easy. Time to prove his words with actions./p  
p class="western"Sebastian pushed out from under the deck, admiring the work that they'd gotten done. His mom had already reinforced the porch, fixed the sagging step, and the fresh wood was bright against William's front door. Sebastian brushed himself off as he straightened, his eyes straining in the dimness for Will's form. It was dark and he couldn't see William as anything beyond a shadow. A big, swaying, shadow./p  
p class="western"The lumbering shadow paused but there was no mistaking the silhouette for anyone else./p  
p class="western""Hey Will," Sebastian said./p  
p class="western""Sebastian?"/p  
p class="western"All of Sebastian's words he'd saved up fled at the absolute despair in William's voice. Sebastian squinted and pointed his flashlight up…into William's bloody face./p  
p class="western"For a moment, William's eyes were steady, locked on Sebastian. He smiled, as if he was relieved. Before his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed into the dirt in front of his house./p  
p class="western""WILLIAM!"/p  
p class="western"Sebastian scrambled forward, his body pumping with adrenaline fueled disbelief. He skidded onto his knees and flipped Will over. Will was breathing in short, shallow gasps. When Sebastian touched his chest, he groaned./p  
p class="western""S'fine…" Will mumbled, his movements erratic and shaky. Sebastian closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He was alive. He was breathing. He was bloody and in absolutely no state to take care of anything. Sebastian shoved his panic down, inhaled, taking a moment just to THINK./p  
p class="western"First, get him out of the dirt. Second, call the doctor. Third, do what the doctor said. Fourth, get him well enough to yell at him./p  
p class="western"Sebastian let out the breath and reached down, hauling Will up, one hand scooping underneath his arm and Sebastian shoved his shoulder underneath Will's chest, lifting with his legs to get Will up. Will let out another yell of pain and protest./p  
p class="western""Help me, you big bastard," Sebastian cursed, his tone curt./p  
p class="western""I'm kay," Will said, his words slurring./p  
p class="western""No, you're fucking NOT," Sebastian said, shifting him up. He hissed in effort trying to get him up, "I'm calling Doc Harvey."/p  
p class="western"William groaned low and deep as Sebastian's shoulders touched his chest. He tried to pull away and the effort of it nearly sent them both careening to the ground./p  
p class="western""Lemme sleep. Made…made it back. All kay now…"/p  
p class="western""Would you fucking help me get your big ass up your stairs?" Sebastian hissed, adjusting his center of gravity to compensate for William's nearly dead weight, "Good god, how much do you weigh?"/p  
p class="western""Sorry, I lied," William mumbled as he tried to get his legs underneath him./p  
p class="western" Sebastian let out a breath as Will balanced slowly, still, too unsteady to walk alone. Sebastian hauled him up the stairs and into his house. They had a tarp over the exposed area of the house, but Sebastian had no intention of him staying beaten and bloody in the half finished renovation. Later. He'd worry about that later./p  
p class="western"He shoved William unceremoniously onto his bed and pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing the clinic with a few swipes of the phone./p  
p class="western"William groaned and covered his eyes, laying on his side./p  
p class="western"Sebastian knelt next to him, putting a hand on Will's forehead, but he couldn't figure out where he was bleeding from./p  
p class="western"It took Doc Harvey three rings to pick up but as soon as he did, Sebastian kept his voice even and calm./p  
p class="western""Doc? It's Sebastian. I've got a medical emergency."/p  
p class="western""What's wrong, Sebastian?" The doctor's voice was sharp in the phone and Sebastian thought he heard the man moving things around./p  
p class="western""It's Farmer William," he said, grim, still running his fingers over William's head in an attempt to figure out where the bleeding was coming from, "Mom and I were doing some work at his place and he came home disoriented and bloody."/p  
p class="western""I see. Alright, wait right there. I'm on my way. Don't move him, don't give him anything to eat or drink, and try to keep him still and calm. I'll be there as soon as I can."/p  
p class="western"Harvey hung up and Sebastian looked around, suddenly at a loss of what to do. He swallowed the lump of terror in his throat./p  
p class="western""Its okay, Bastian," Will croaked from the bed, "just a bump. S'got me feeling real funny is all."/p  
p class="western""Shhh," Sebastian whispered, rubbing his hand./p  
p class="western""Nah, keep me chatty," Will said, trying to open his eyes, "case its concussion."/p  
p class="western"Sebastian shook his head, and cast around the room until he found Will's chair. He slid it over and sat next to the bed./p  
p class="western""What the hell happened?"/p  
p class="western""Ambush. It's always the damn ambushes. Never prepared for that. Cept I got it. They wanted it but I got it."/p  
p class="western"Will started to struggle, trying to sit up, reaching into his pocket./p  
p class="western""Stop that!" Sebastian barked, leaning over him to shove him back down. Will grimaced as Sebastian touched his chest and let out a hiss. He fell back obediently then held up his hand in a fist, slowly uncoiling his fingers. His knuckles were bruised and busted, as if he'd been hitting hard things with them. Then he frowned as a blue stone fell into his hand, warm from William's grasp./p  
p class="western"Sebastian blinked and his eyes widened, holding the blue crystal up to the light. It was a Frozen Tear, a gem that was uncommon around their valley. His mom had a pair of earrings made out of them, but they were tiny stones in comparison to the rock that he was holding./p  
p class="western""Wanted…to give that to you," William rasped, leaning back, his hand wrapping around the rock in Sebastian's hand, "cuz…cuz I wasn't giving up either. Just…god, Sebastian, I fucked up."/p  
p class="western"Sebastian swallowed, looking at the stone, then back up at Will, his eyes still wide./p  
p class="western""Let me see if I understand—"/p  
p class="western""Good luck because I barely do," Will groaned, shifting on the bed, letting out shallow breaths./p  
p class="western""—this right, you found this Frozen Tear…and then got ambushed by monsters? So then what, Will? You fought them all off single handedly?"/p  
p class="western"Will started to wheeze out a laugh, but then whimpered in pain. He swallowed and rubbed at his face. He grunted and made a face, unable to get comfortable. "Sums it up," he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut./p  
p class="western"Sebastian swallowed, absurdly touched and furious./p  
p class="western""You moron," he whispered, pulling Will's fist to his lips, "you stupid, idiotic, bumbling, pigheaded, glorious, dumbass."/p  
p class="western"William squeezed the hand and smirked, "You're articulate when you're mad."/p  
p class="western"Sebastian sighed then turned his head when he heard gravel crunching./p  
p class="western""That'll be the doc."/p  
p class="western"William gripped Sebastian's hands tighter, borderline painful./p  
p class="western""Promise me," he whispered, eyes wide as he heard the footsteps, "No painkillers, Bastian. Promise me."/p  
p class="western"Sebastian hesitated then rubbed Will's hands, "Shhh, Will, you're hurt. Doc Harvey is going to fix you up, okay?"/p  
p class="western"Will nearly pushed himself upright but Sebastian was beginning to predict his stupidity and placed one hand on the middle of Will's sternum, pushing back with barely any force. Will shouted out, and fell back, unable to speak. He breathed quicker now, and Sebastian could feel his heart pounding against his palm. Will opened his mouth again but he could only to breathe in short, raspy, urgent pants. Sebastian frowned down at him, shaking his head. This much pain? How could he want to just deal with what was clearly in a lot of pain./p  
p class="western"Doc Harvey didn't bother knocking, just came in as Will stared at Sebastian, his gaze locked on him like a lifeline./p  
p class="western""See, it's going to be okay, all okay. The doc is here."/p  
p class="western"William opened his mouth, tried one more super-human push against Sebastian's restraining hand and then as if it had finally just become too much, his head rolled back, and he sank back into the bed./p  
p class="western"Sebastain's mouth went dry, but then he let out a breath. The doctor was here. William was delirious and he was going to be fine./p  
p class="western"Just. Fine./p  
p class="western"br / /p  
p class="western"br / /p  
p class="western"Notes:/p  
div id="TextSection" dir="ltr"  
blockquote class="western"Wooooooooh!/blockquote  
blockquote class="western"Alright, so according to my vague sense of how these things are paced, I feel like we're getting to the end of act 2 and moving into act 3 with the idea that this is a 5 act type story./blockquote  
blockquote class="western"I'm going to go ahead and give this story an ending of 50 chapters with understanding that I will definitely be adjusting that as time goes on./blockquote  
blockquote class="western"Thank you everyone who bookmarks, kudos, and of course, my favorite, comments./blockquote  
blockquote class="western"These chapters are un-beta'd and so any errors are mine and will and can be smoothed out as time allows./blockquote  
/div 


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